8 Year old ~ Wont leave my side!

[KellyC75]

Im really looking for some advice please

My 8 year old Son has always been very anxious about going anywhere (in the house) without me!

He will not go up & play in his room, we've even bought him a cd player, a tv & xbox to try & give him 'background company'...But still he wont go

I love spending time with him, dont get me wrong, but there are other times when he could really do with going & playing with his toys/lego etc...

I would be grateful for any advice

 

[RiverSong]

Are you able to hear each other from different rooms in the house? Like if you were ironing downstairs and he were in his room, could he hear you moving round or the tv/radio etc?

I only ask because my ss, who is now 12, used to be like this. He just wanted reassurance we were there and werent doing anything exciting without him? Do you think it could be reassurance he needs?xxx

 

[KellyC75]

Are you able to hear each other from different rooms in the house? Like if you were ironing downstairs and he were in his room, could he hear you moving round or the tv/radio etc?

I only ask because my ss, who is now 12, used to be like this. He just wanted reassurance we were there and werent doing anything exciting without him? Do you think it could be reassurance he needs?xxx

Thanks for the reply

Yes, he can....I leave the door to the living room open, he still has his 'baby monitor' in his room, so I can always hear him

Even if im in my bedroom, he hates going into the bathroom (the next room) to brush his teeth without me!

If im in the living room & he needs the toilet, he will 'make up' a conversation, just to keep talking to me!

If I go to go upstairs, he runs so fast after me, I swear one day he'll fall down the stairs, he has such a panic!

He has been like it since he was little & its actually got worse & I find myself snapping at him

 

[RiverSong]

Aww hun. Just take a deep breath. He wont be doing it to annoy you, there will be a reason? Maybe you could make time apart into a game? Or give him a clock and tell him he needs to play alone until a set time?

You must be exhausted hun *big hugs* xx

 

[KellyC75]

Aww hun. Just take a deep breath. He wont be doing it to annoy you, there will be a reason? Maybe you could make time apart into a game? Or give him a clock and tell him he needs to play alone until a set time?

You must be exhausted hun *big hugs* xx

Thankyou so much Yes, it is very tiring

The clock/timer is a good idea ~ I would be so proud of him if he could stay on his own for even a short time, he will see that it makes me happy

 

[stepmummy]

I know how hard it must be but try not to snap. SD can be a bit like this, especially in the evenings when it gets a bit darker.

The key is to be firm and flippant. My SD wouldn't brush her teeth alone for ages so I started just walking past, saying cheerfully (but firmly) 'teeth brushing time!' and then just walk on and carry on with something (washing up, looking after DD) as if I trust her enough and just expect her to do this grown up thing alone. She rallied at first but I stuck with it and now it's fine.

The clock timer thing is a wonderful idea - it's used in schools where the kids have problems being alone. Make sure you give TONNES of positive attention and try to ignore the negative stuff.

Good luck!

 

[candy3]

My son is 8 and will not play upstairs on his own, he is frightened but will not admit it. If he storms off in a strop he can do it the anger makes him brave.

We turned the dining room into a games room which has worked out well as we can keep an eye on him and his friends and we don't have them crashing about above our heads

Or did I avoid dealing with the situation (after reading the replies)