9 week old unsettled after visitors

[KM22]

Hi everyone,

I’m a first time mum to my beautiful baby girl, who's 9 weeks old.
She is such a settled good baby but my question is, after we have had visitors (and she has been held by other people) I really struggle that evening to settle her. She will eventually settle but will breatfeed for hours on end as a comfort I think. It’s made it so that I dread going round to anyone’s house and feeling like I have to let them hold her, and I take her back at the slightest whimper from her! I’m sure they think I’m over protective!

It’s her christening next week and I’m just dreading the meal afterwards as my MIL is totally over the top (luckily she lives 2 hours away so I’m
Not dealing with it all the time). But my daughter doesn’t know her and my 75 year old mother in law insists she does as she’s her nan!
So does any one have any tips for me to keep baby with just me and hubbby afterwards and stop people passing her around like a parcel? I just don’t think it’s fair on her (or me!). She will already be unsettled as we will be staying in a hotel.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions

KM xx

 

[noon_child]

It sounds like she gets over stimulated. You could wear her in a carrier - that way people can't jut ask for a hold because it means removing her from the carrier. If you do want some people to hold her for a short period (if MIL has never seen her it would be nice if she could) make sure it is on your terms. While she sleeps or doses or just after she has woken if she is calm are ideal times for others to get a hold. As soon as she seems 'excited' she needs to go back to you to reduce the stimulation - this may be hard as this is when people think baby is being "fun" but just be clear "She's at that age where she's getting overstimulated very easily and then wont sleep, so you can hold her but you'll need to give her back when I say". Signs she needs a change of scene are:
• Looks away
• Turns his head away
• Yawns
• Puts his hands up to his face
• Has a dull looking face or eyes
• Becomes more active and restless
Waiting for whimpering/crying will probably mean she's gone past the stage where she can be easily calmed.

 

[crownest]

I second what noon child says above a carrier is a great idea it keeps baby nice and close and people are less likely to ask for a hold. I would let your MIL hold her when you think she is nice and relaxed. Are you holding the meal in the hotel? If so maybe work it so MIL holds her in the bedroom when its nice and quiet. Ask her to sit with the baby for 10 or 15 minutes because she needs quiet time or something, at least then your MIL will feel like she is useful and getting "special time" but baby is getting quiet time.

 

[KM22]

Thank you for your reply, some really helpful advice there. I had seen the other day about staring into space etc, I didnt know that, and she does sometimes do it (she looks at the ceiling) my MIL thinks its a great idea to go and put her face in baby’s and call her name! I shall make sure this doesnt happen!
I had thought about wearing her (I’d love to) but she will be wearing a christening robe - so will have to be in a pram.
MIL had seen her a few times now so im not worried about that. I think i will do what you said and only let people hold her if she is asleep, then she doesnt know and i think its a bit fairer on her.
I can totally understand people wanting to hold her, which i dont have a problem with, but i think they want her to ‘do’ something, and spend all their time trying to get her to speak or something! ��
Im definitely going to try the, im trying to get her to sleep, into a routine thing!

 

[KM22]

Thank you, the room holding is a great idea, the meal is in a restaurant opposite though. I thought about nipping into the hotel between the ceremony and the meal to feed her, im breastfeeding, so she will be sleepy when i get to restaurant... this shouldn’t be such a big deal, Its just so frustrating when people pass her around and say ‘its good for her to be socialised’ my side of the family are fine as i feel able to tell them straight!

 

[biglebowski]

If you cant wear lo could you take a muslin to drape over the pram to reduce stimulation. Just tell others she is sleeping.

 

[KM22]

That’s a great idea! Thank you, I’ll try that x