A bit upset my Boss's horrible reaction!

[MrsHTH]

So I told my Boss this morning that I am pregnant. I am only seven weeks but thought it best to tell her because I have appointments coming up and I didn't want to lie.
Anyway, when she asked how far along I was she reacted with 'Oh well then it might not even happen'. Then she kept referring to it as that thing that might not happen. THEN she said 'is it your first ever pregnancy? cus they are a bit like pancakes, the first one always turns out wrong' then she told me that 1 in 3 end in miscarriage.
I am now feeling tearful and worried.
Sorry, I don't know what I expect you to say but just had to get it out!

xx

 

[jenniferannex]

Well your boss sounds like a right cow!! There was definitely no need what so ever to say the things she Did! First pregnancies always go wrong is aload of rubbish, wether it be your 1st, 2nd and so on, each pregnancy can have its problems. Miscarriage is a 1 in 5 chance my doctor told me. She won't get anywhere in life with that negative attitude. Ignore her Hun, you keep looking forward and look forward to your pregnancy, don't let someone like her bring you down. Keep smiling and don't let her show it has bothered you. xxx

 

[MrsHTH]

Thanks hun.

She is always like it. She was just as horrible when I told her I was getting married last year. She said 'do people still do that?' and told me not to talk to her about it.

Also when people in our team have had babies she has been horrible about looking at photos of them and seeing them. She once said to my colleague who bought her baby in 'urgh I don't want to see it'.

She is single and in her 40s and that is completely fine! Marriage and kids isn't for everyone - I thought it wasn't for me, but the way she is comes across as a tad bitter.

 

[redlemonade]

Wow I'm so sorry to hear of your experience! She's so very wrong on this one.

I think this possibly says a lot about her and her own experiences, and it's not necessarily personal. So try not to take it to heart.

 

[kiraelliott]

She had no right to react like that.. In my experience people like that are extremely bitter about it! How unproffessional! Ignore the silly mare, she literally knows nothing xxx

 

[MrsHTH]

Thanks a lot ladies. I was feeling so exited about my scan on Friday. I was hoping to maybe see a little heartbeat to put my mind at rest. Now I just feel so deflated and I know it sounds silly but I feel like she has jinxed it! x

 

[LittleMum]

I would be going straight to HR!! How dare she!!!!

 

[ToriStory]

That is beyond horrible!!!! She sounds like a terrible person, tbh!!! She obviously knows nothing about pregnancy and miscarriages, so don't let her get you worried. It is just plain stupid and untrue to say the first pregnancy 'turns out wrong'. Enjoy your pregnancy; don't spend time worrying about something that isn't likely to happen. I know how hard it is not to worry, but chances are very good that everything will be just fine!!! Big !!

I also second going to HR. I don't give a crap what her story is or her personal feelings regarding marriage and children....as a boss she should know how to act professional.

Stay excited for your scan, don't let her ruin it!!!

 

[Angelbaby_01]

Don't worry too much. She wants what you have probably and maybe that's why she is reacting that way. My boss's wife told me I will loose my baby since I did'n go for an early scan and only went at 9 weeks. She even cried because I'm so young. Was 23 at the time and today I have a happy 22 month old. Don't let people get you down.

Xxxx

 

[Harparcat]

I agree, her reaction says more about her and what she must be feeling inside, whether she acknowledges it to herself or not.

That being said, I think she's way out of order for saying it to you and whatever she might think she is in a professional environment and there has to be some sort of filter over what comes out of her mouth. I'd be tempted to go to HR or raise some sort of issue against her as she is totally out of order for making those remarks!

 

[ladyluck8181]

Well isn't she a barrel of laughs. Nasty witch.

Ignore it, I think everyone will encounter that one person who has no tact and seemingly no brain cells either

 

[NandO1]

Sorry but is she for real? what a jealous ignorant misinformed b***h. You should have decked her and blame it on the hormones she clearly knows nothing about! I am sure she is bitter but thats her issue, dont let her get you down. Go and enjoy every second of your scan on friday. xx

 

[Kelx44]

Sounds exactly like my boss !!!!!!!! But he demoted me because if it so I had no choice but to quit!!!!!!! I was there for 2 years

 

[kerri28]

So I told my Boss this morning that I am pregnant. I am only seven weeks but thought it best to tell her because I have appointments coming up and I didn't want to lie.
Anyway, when she asked how far along I was she reacted with 'Oh well then it might not even happen'. Then she kept referring to it as that thing that might not happen. THEN she said 'is it your first ever pregnancy? cus they are a bit like pancakes, the first one always turns out wrong' then she told me that 1 in 3 end in miscarriage.
I am now feeling tearful and worried.
Sorry, I don't know what I expect you to say but just had to get it out!

xx

What on earth???!!! There are really people in this world like that??? That is absolutely horrible and I'm sorry you even had to hear something as disgusting as that! I would file a complaint to your boss's supervisor because that is extremely inappropriate and unethical. I'd frame every single scan you get and give your boss one as an screw you kinda present. And then when the baby is born bring him or her in to introduce to everyone and say to the baby, and this is mommys boss, the one who assumed you were nothing.
What a disgusting monster. You flaunt this pregnancy!

 

[xdxxtx]

What a *****!!!!! 1 in 3 do NOT end in miscarriage. PLEASE don't let her stress you out. My first pregnancy is now an almost 2-year-old, and NOTHING went wrong the entire time. It was just perfect. My sister's first pregnancy is now a healthy 11 year old! My mother in law's first pregnancy is now my partner! My grandmother-in-law's first pregnancy is now my aunt by marriage! My other grandmother-in-law's first pregnancy is now my spouse's uncle! My grandmother's first pregnancy is now my uncle! My mother's first pregnancy is my sister! Don't let this stress you out. Just know that your boss is not someone you can trust.

 

[rainbowsun]

Wow. How obnoxious.

Don't let people like that stress you out. She's not worth your time.

 

[redlemonade]

Sounds exactly like my boss !!!!!!!! But he demoted me because if it so I had no choice but to quit!!!!!!! I was there for 2 years

Wow that's awful! I'd smack a constructive dismissal suit on him so fast, he wouldn't know what hit him! Sorry you had that experience.

 

[chulie]

I am speechless!!!!!! What's a horrible, awful, bitter woman.

Please do not let Debbie downer ruin anything. My first pregnancy was textbook and I'm on my second which is also textbook so far. I'd have said something back like "well taking pregnancy advice from you would be like taking marital advice from a nun".......oie.......honestly!!!!!!!

 

[2Pups4Kids]

WHOA. As a manager, that is TOTALLY unacceptable. Seriously, how does she think she can get away with talking to you that way? Talk to HR; check to see if your work offers some sort of confidentiality phone number where you can anonymously complain without your name being attached.

My sister-in-law is pregnant too and she had an issue with how her boss took the news too... she's still in her first trimester but, like you, wanted to notify her boss about the reason for her requests for time off and such but to keep it confidential as it's still early. Well her boss turns around and sends off an e-mail to her entire team announcing her pregnancy! How rude is that?! My mind was blown. I can't believe how unprofessional people in the workplace can be, especially those who are your leaders and are supposed to be there to support you!!

 

[MrsHTH]

Wow thanks so much everyone for your lovely words and support. I was worried I was being too sensitive because I am genuinely worried about everything going well. But the more I think about it, you are all right... how bloody dare she! I would never say anything like that to anyone! Thoughts like that would never even enter my head, let alone, escape my lips!
Its a really weird thing because she is so supportive about other things. When my little sister died last year she couldn't have been more caring and understanding and patient with me. She is just SOOOOO horrible about marriage and kids. Its crazy!

I haven't had any morning sickness so far but, you know what? I feel it coming on, I might need a few days off!