A conversation with my MIL...seriously?

[phoenixrose]

So normally I have no problem with my MIL. Honestly she's like the mom I don't have seeing as though I don't speak to mine (but that's a different rant). But I can't get over the conversation we had last night...

(Back story: I'm on Follistim, having to inject myself, on about night 5 out of 9ish, after 3 failed rounds of clomid. I feel as though I'm at the end of my emotional rope)

MIL: this year is going to be a great year, you'll see (she just got back from some church group)
Me: really? You promise? What do I get if you're wrong? You going to buy me a nice vacation? (I'm getting so tired of hearing her say this is going to be a great year. She won't shut up about it for the last weak since some beggar told her she would have a great year)
MIL: it's all in the power of the mind. If you want it bad enough you will get it (she thinks she's an expert since she read 'the secret')
Me: I tried that, it didn't work
MIL: did you do it in the name of God?
Me: I've tried everything (I actually haven't because I have different beliefs then her, but she knows that and knows she never gets good responses out of me when she talks about religion, but I was trying to appease her and stop the conversation from progressing)
MIL: have you tried going to church and asking God?
Me: (and this is when I lost it. She knows the only time I have been to a church in the 11 years she has known me is weddings and baptisms) "Well in that case I guess I'll never get pregnant.........Do you really think that is the best thing to say to me?" (How dare she imply the only reason I'm not pg yet is because I don't want it bad enough and because I don't go to church, there is something medically wrong with me, I may never get pg without medicine)

At that point I stood up from the dining room table, practically threw my plate at my DH who was already cleaning up and stormed out of the room for fear of what else I might say while pissed off. Then went to my room (we live with them to afford fertility treatments) and cried for the next 10 min until my DH came and calmed me down. He agrees that it was totally out of line. This was last night, and I'm still pissed!

 

[terces]

Shes soooo wrong. If going to church got you pregnant, I would be. I go twice on Sundas and on Wed. eve. I teach 3 classes and play the piano. So, clearly she couldnt be more wrong. Sorry you had to listen to that. Hugs

 

[phoenixrose]

Shes soooo wrong. If going to church got you pregnant, I would be. I go twice on Sundas and on Wed. eve. I teach 3 classes and play the piano. So, clearly she couldnt be more wrong. Sorry you had to listen to that. Hugs

Thank you! And thank you for the "case and point"

 

[Chiles]

 

[Coleey]

x

 

[purplesparkle]

im sorry some people are so insentive least you've had a go at her maybe she won't be so insensitive next time you see her

 

[MrsPete]

Super religious people (like my Mom and MIL, too) believe that God is all powerful and can grant miracles. If you or I got pregnant without medical intervention, I guess it would be a miracle... or, IMO, just another example of the shortfalls of modern medicine. I have a friend who calls herself a "recovering Catholic". She says, It would be nice to have that kind of faith. To believe that whatever is wrong in the world can be fixed by praying.

Personally, I refuse to believe that an omniscient and loving God would deny me a child just because I have my doubts about religion. I am a good person and will be a wonderful mother. If God is out there and knows me at all, he should know that.

Another response you can give your MIL is the old cliche: God helps those who help themselves. That's why you're pursing that elusive BFP with every tool available!

 

[Princess Lou]

I get that of my MIL too. It's complete and utter bullcrap.

Remember, you are more educated than her when it comes to these matters and although her words will hurt, you know better.

XX

 

[phoenixrose]

Super religious people (like my Mom and MIL, too) believe that God is all powerful and can grant miracles. If you or I got pregnant without medical intervention, I guess it would be a miracle... or, IMO, just another example of the shortfalls of modern medicine. I have a friend who calls herself a "recovering Catholic". She says, It would be nice to have that kind of faith. To believe that whatever is wrong in the world can be fixed by praying.

Personally, I refuse to believe that an omniscient and loving God would deny me a child just because I have my doubts about religion. I am a good person and will be a wonderful mother. If God is out there and knows me at all, he should know that.

Another response you can give your MIL is the old cliche: God helps those who help themselves. That's why you're pursing that elusive BFP with every tool available!

Wow, you just put into words exactly how I feel about the whe God and religion thing. If there really is a God I would hope he is a loving and not a vengeful God. And I am a good person and IMO I would make a very good mom.

 

[giraffes]

Oh petal, so sorry to hear that. Feel free to use me as an argument whenever you like, I'm married to a minister, I go to church a lot, I have never prayed so hard for anything in my life and I'm still not pregnant.

fingers crossed the injections and IUI work this time round. Big hugs Gxx

 

[StorkStalker]

PhoenixRose.. Arghh.. I agree with you 100%... How can people say you are not wanting this hard enough?? I always ask people, so then what, are 15 year olds everywhere wanting to become mothers hard enough?? I figure some people will say anything that comes to mind, not with bad intentions, but of course not thinking thoroughly on the implications of their remarks.. If any part of becoming a mother had any relation to being good/bad, believer/non-believer then there would be no bad mothers (or dads) at all, and many many great people would be parents already... Big hug

 

[phoenixrose]

Oh petal, so sorry to hear that. Feel free to use me as an argument whenever you like, I'm married to a minister, I go to church a lot, I have never prayed so hard for anything in my life and I'm still not pregnant.

fingers crossed the injections and IUI work this time round. Big hugs Gxx

Thank you! I really hope it works this time too! We have 3 tries on injections and then if not pg then we will probably have to take a 2 year break before IVF to at least pay off the debt we already accumulated, and hopefully save a little. I keep saying that I just want these 3 months to be over whatever the answer so I can relax a bit, but I know if it ends in a BFN, that my DH may have to put me in a looney bin...at least for a little bit anyway.