A little advice needed for teenagers

[debsbaby]

I have three children with my ex-husband. They are 12 and 16 (girls) and 14 (boy). Here is my situation. I am expecting a baby, and I am not in a relationship with the father. He was my old Highschool/college sweetheart and we'd remained friends all through the years. This spring he came through my town and a one night stand situation resulted in me getting pregnant. He is married. I know...it is very complicated.

I've only revealed to my parents and adult family members who the father is (since I was waiting for him to tell his wife first. He didn't want it getting back to her through the grapevine).

I haven't told my children yet. They've met him once or twice, but since he doesn't live nearby, I am not sure how much he will want to be or be able to be involved with the baby. I need to tell my children who the father is. They'll eventually find out, but I'd like for them to know before baby is born.

Any suggestions in telling them? They know he is married since they know who he is, and that obviously creates an awful lot of moral questions once they learn he is the father. Their father left me for another woman, so we've had our own discussions in the past about not getting involved with married men. While I know I should not have had sex with him, it wasn't an affair or an attempt to sabotage his marriage. I guess I need some advice on telling them in a way that lets them know I wasn't out sleeping with a stranger, but I wasn't trying to be a home-wrecker either.

Anyone have any advice for me?

 

[Bittersweet]

to be honest you should just tell them what you told us!? youv not got long befor ethe baby is born and their your children at the ned of the day they eill love you and the baby regardless. They may be slightly pissed and not talk to you or be disgusted but perhaps they are not able to quite grasp the conecept(althgouh im sure your 16 year old will ).

good luck.xx

 

[smelly07]

yep agree, tell them what you told us, be honest. x

 

[TattiesMum]

Totally agree with the others Hon ... just tell them what you've told us

It's just not worth fudging details or going into too much of an explanation/detail .... for a start they generally know and understand FAR more than we give them credit for I'm sure they'll be fine and, to be blunt, as the parents of teenagers we have enough trouble getting them to tell us things straight up - so the only possible route with them is to set an example with total honesty

 

[azile]

I have three children with my ex-husband. They are 12 and 16 (girls) and 14 (boy). Here is my situation. I am expecting a baby, and I am not in a relationship with the father. He was my old Highschool/college sweetheart and we'd remained friends all through the years. This spring he came through my town and a one night stand situation resulted in me getting pregnant. He is married. I know...it is very complicated.

I've only revealed to my parents and adult family members who the father is (since I was waiting for him to tell his wife first. He didn't want it getting back to her through the grapevine).

I haven't told my children yet. They've met him once or twice, but since he doesn't live nearby, I am not sure how much he will want to be or be able to be involved with the baby. I need to tell my children who the father is. They'll eventually find out, but I'd like for them to know before baby is born.

Any suggestions in telling them? They know he is married since they know who he is, and that obviously creates an awful lot of moral questions once they learn he is the father. Their father left me for another woman, so we've had our own discussions in the past about not getting involved with married men. While I know I should not have had sex with him, it wasn't an affair or an attempt to sabotage his marriage. I guess I need some advice on telling them in a way that lets them know I wasn't out sleeping with a stranger, but I wasn't trying to be a home-wrecker either.

Anyone have any advice for me?

I'd reserve any information and telling them the truth until they're old enough to understand.

 

[tallybee]

I agree with the others, tell them what you said here, your honesty hopefully should go some way to setting an example for them to be honest with you.

GL