confused87com
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Hi,
i always read other peoples stories and even when they had gone 'wrong' i never thought that would be me.
I am writing this because i think it will help me come to terms with what happened.
I never looked pregnant, no bump etc. So when i measured small i expected it. At 25 weeks i was 1 week behind, at 28, 2 weeks behind. The midwife wasnt concerned, but called the next day telling me she had booked a scan for me. I was really nervous, i felt something wasnt right even thought everyone told me it would be fine.
WE went to the scan, the scanner went quiet and moved us room and got another person, i knew it wasnt good. I was then told i ha absent EDF, the arteries in the umbilical cord werent functioning, so starving my baby. I got sent straight to another hospital for steriods and monitoring.
I was admitted to a ward full of mums and babies, after being warned i may not have a baby....it was awful. xI had my steroids and then got told in the morning that i would be transferred cause they had no neonatal beds. They were going to blue light me but i had an urgent transfer in the end. No one was telling me anything. all i knew is that i felt fine, there were no porbs with me it was all text book and that my baby wasnt distressed. The monitoring was normal.
I got the the new hospital and then met the theatre team...no one told me i was going to have him there and then. Then tehy scanned me and decided to wait. I knew they were worried about his heart, even tho they didnt tell me as he spent ages scanning it. I spent the weekend in this hospital and then on monday had another scan where i was then told his heart was fine. I got told that i needed to return to the previous hospital on the thursday for another scan and hopefuly we would get a few more weeks out of my pregnancy. My whole world had fallen apart.
The scan on thursday showed no flow again. Although there were no neonatal beds again. The doc called around the area and still no beds. So i got told to go home and come babck on the friday. I went back, had another scan and got admitted. The waiting was awful. I was nervous about the c section but more about the fact i was 29 weeks! I couldnt lose him. We waited from 8am til 4pm. The c section was fine. I was far less nervous. There were issues with the spinal, i could feel the first attempt, and the second, which made me nearly faint. I had to be held up cause ther was no way i was being knocked out. It didnt feel like i was having my baby, if i missed it completely i knew i would have more issues with bonding with him.
Anyhow, once the spinal was in it went well. I hated the feeling of being naked and having 20 peeps in the room!
when i felt the tugging the room went quiet. I had been told he would be ventilated etc and i had overheard a doc saying that he was unlikely to survive ( nice of him eh?) Well he came out screaming....and screaming. He didnt need ventilating, my husband even got to go and see him.
He is doing so well..he had cpap for a day or so but kept pulling it off. He is 2lb 5 and a fidget!
2 weeks on and the nurses are amazed but he is now in special care not intensive and just needs feeding thru his tube every hour. There is nothing wrong with him other than he is small. He just needs to grow up fast.
I went through hell for my little boy, but now he feels like he is my little boy i would do it all again in a heartbeat...i think!
sorry a very long post...but even the worst ircumstances can have positive endings. Its not how i dreamed, or planned and every worst nightmare i could have written down when i started the pregnancy journey came true...but somehow it doesnt matter so much now he is here. My c section went well i went home less than 48 hours after. It healed well and i havent stopped since i had him. I will always feel blessed at how lucky we are. I just will never know why ithappend. I have been told that it is so rare to have it with no other probs and that next time there should be no reason that i shouldnt carry to term and have a normal birth..........and i already know, there will be a next time
i always read other peoples stories and even when they had gone 'wrong' i never thought that would be me.
I am writing this because i think it will help me come to terms with what happened.
I never looked pregnant, no bump etc. So when i measured small i expected it. At 25 weeks i was 1 week behind, at 28, 2 weeks behind. The midwife wasnt concerned, but called the next day telling me she had booked a scan for me. I was really nervous, i felt something wasnt right even thought everyone told me it would be fine.
WE went to the scan, the scanner went quiet and moved us room and got another person, i knew it wasnt good. I was then told i ha absent EDF, the arteries in the umbilical cord werent functioning, so starving my baby. I got sent straight to another hospital for steriods and monitoring.
I was admitted to a ward full of mums and babies, after being warned i may not have a baby....it was awful. xI had my steroids and then got told in the morning that i would be transferred cause they had no neonatal beds. They were going to blue light me but i had an urgent transfer in the end. No one was telling me anything. all i knew is that i felt fine, there were no porbs with me it was all text book and that my baby wasnt distressed. The monitoring was normal.
I got the the new hospital and then met the theatre team...no one told me i was going to have him there and then. Then tehy scanned me and decided to wait. I knew they were worried about his heart, even tho they didnt tell me as he spent ages scanning it. I spent the weekend in this hospital and then on monday had another scan where i was then told his heart was fine. I got told that i needed to return to the previous hospital on the thursday for another scan and hopefuly we would get a few more weeks out of my pregnancy. My whole world had fallen apart.
The scan on thursday showed no flow again. Although there were no neonatal beds again. The doc called around the area and still no beds. So i got told to go home and come babck on the friday. I went back, had another scan and got admitted. The waiting was awful. I was nervous about the c section but more about the fact i was 29 weeks! I couldnt lose him. We waited from 8am til 4pm. The c section was fine. I was far less nervous. There were issues with the spinal, i could feel the first attempt, and the second, which made me nearly faint. I had to be held up cause ther was no way i was being knocked out. It didnt feel like i was having my baby, if i missed it completely i knew i would have more issues with bonding with him.
Anyhow, once the spinal was in it went well. I hated the feeling of being naked and having 20 peeps in the room!
when i felt the tugging the room went quiet. I had been told he would be ventilated etc and i had overheard a doc saying that he was unlikely to survive ( nice of him eh?) Well he came out screaming....and screaming. He didnt need ventilating, my husband even got to go and see him.
He is doing so well..he had cpap for a day or so but kept pulling it off. He is 2lb 5 and a fidget!
2 weeks on and the nurses are amazed but he is now in special care not intensive and just needs feeding thru his tube every hour. There is nothing wrong with him other than he is small. He just needs to grow up fast.
I went through hell for my little boy, but now he feels like he is my little boy i would do it all again in a heartbeat...i think!
sorry a very long post...but even the worst ircumstances can have positive endings. Its not how i dreamed, or planned and every worst nightmare i could have written down when i started the pregnancy journey came true...but somehow it doesnt matter so much now he is here. My c section went well i went home less than 48 hours after. It healed well and i havent stopped since i had him. I will always feel blessed at how lucky we are. I just will never know why ithappend. I have been told that it is so rare to have it with no other probs and that next time there should be no reason that i shouldnt carry to term and have a normal birth..........and i already know, there will be a next time
