a question about legal surname change

[emalou90]

on speaking terms with my ex all is civil.

but my daughter has his surname and i'd rather she didnt.

how do you think i could bring it up?

sensitively of course x

 

[lou_w34]

Too be honest, i dont think there is any way to say it that wont get a negative reaction from him, the best thing you can do is be honest.

I take it he is on the Birth Certificate? If he is not, you dont need his permission to change it

xx

 

[DiamondSky]

When my daughter was born, I didn't give her his last name, because he wasn't around, and I figured that was his responsibility to give to her. Now, 4 months later, after establishing paternity and custody, we are going through the process of having it changed, because we are amicable again. My recommendation is that even though you may not like his name, let her keep it. If the situation between the two of you is amicable, do as little as possible to rock the boat. When she turns 18, if she doesn't like it, then she can either get it changed legally, or get married.

 

[Jem_x3]

One she has his surname it can't be changed unless you put his name on the BC I don't think. If you had given her your name and then later on added FOB you could of changed it to his. Unless he gives permission for it to be legally changed (which may not be likely) then there's nothing that can be done. I gave my daughter my name as FOB wasn't interested at the time but now we are together and better than ever so we'll be changing it. If things are okay between you I don't think it's the best idea to get his back up iykwim? But it's entirely up to you and what you think is best. If you do bring up the subject just explain to him the reasons why you think it's best she have your name and remind him that it doesn't change anything really and she's still his no matter what the surname x

 

[beckynbump25]

i changed my daughters name surname to mine a few months back on deed poll website its all legal you get a certificate to say what youve changed it from n that.you can change it with out him knowing my mom changed my little bro's name and sis name even though there dads name was on the birth cetificate and he was seeing them she just lied and no one knows any diffrent then you.

https://www.deedpoll.org.uk/

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

Before we can issue a Deed Poll to change a child's name, we must be satisfied that everyone with parental responsibility for the child has consented to the name change. This means when you submit an application to us (either by post or online) you must also submit, by fax or post, a letter of consent signed by everyone with parental responsibility for your child.


For births registered in England or Wales
A father automatically acquires parental responsibility if he is married to the mother at the time of the child's birth or if he subsequently marries the mother. An unmarried father acquires parental responsibility if he is named, or becomes named, on the birth certificate from 1st December 2003.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

I'm really gutted as i want to change my Lo's surname AND middle name completely! his name was strongly influenced by Oh's family names etc and now i don't want them.. i know it sounds petty but i really dont care! haha.. but his dad wont let me change it i have honestly thought about just signing it for him! haha.. but i know its illegal but i have thought about trying to get away with it.. wonder how much trouble i could get in :/

 

[ProzacQueen]

have you thought about asking if he will let you change it so its double barrelled??

im sooooo glad i insisted on DD1 having both our names (hated it but musta known i would never marry him!) now we are not together i've just dropped his part of the name (obviously not important stuff passport etc)

he left me when i was 6 weeks pregnant with DD2 so she just has my name, it means alot to me that they have the same name as me. loads of people were shocked though, but i dont see in this day and age why it should automatically be assumed they will get the dad's name

 

[gemabee]

have you thought about asking if he will let you change it so its double barrelled??

im sooooo glad i insisted on DD1 having both our names (hated it but musta known i would never marry him!) now we are not together i've just dropped his part of the name (obviously not important stuff passport etc)

he left me when i was 6 weeks pregnant with DD2 so she just has my name, it means alot to me that they have the same name as me. loads of people were shocked though, but i dont see in this day and age why it should automatically be assumed they will get the dad's name

completely agree... it never even occurred to me to give finn any surname other than my own.
even if i was still with fob... he'd still get my surname... if i ever get married / change my surname... i'll change finn's too.
he's MINE!!!!
lol xx

 

[teal]

have you thought about asking if he will let you change it so its double barrelled??

im sooooo glad i insisted on DD1 having both our names (hated it but musta known i would never marry him!) now we are not together i've just dropped his part of the name (obviously not important stuff passport etc)

he left me when i was 6 weeks pregnant with DD2 so she just has my name, it means alot to me that they have the same name as me. loads of people were shocked though, but i dont see in this day and age why it should automatically be assumed they will get the dad's name

completely agree... it never even occurred to me to give finn any surname other than my own.
even if i was still with fob... he'd still get my surname... if i ever get married / change my surname... i'll change finn's too.
he's MINE!!!!
lol xx

I agree!

If my ex was around or if we were even still together I would still have given LO my surname. xx

 

[lynne192]

plus legally you can't actually change her name on birth cert or anything offical you can only do it by known as and dead poll and your ex if he's named father has to agree etc... i am having a huge problem with this at the moment, my son's birth cert was printed out wrong and he hs the wrong surname i am having to go back down to england go to court etc even to get this chnged its nightmare been dealing with this for over 3 years now so its not something thats easily done even known as nowadays can be hard need to get legal docs etc. as for telling your ex if your on civil terms then i think its likely after this conversation you might not be, maybe say you don't want her to feel left out and your worried that the nursery/public etc will question you as her month by having different name to her? or suggest a joint second name?

 

[lovemelissa]

I stupidly gave my daughter Thea my ex's surname double barrelled with mine, he hasnt seen her since she was 9 weeks and she will be 4 in jan but I really want to take his name out but dont think I can without his consent which \i know he will not agree to. Its stupid when my child does not know who he is!!