Abuse at 12

[BabyHay]

Hi guys.

Honestly I don't even know where to start, So I'm just gonna come straight out and say it

Starting from aged 12, my uncle use to put on porn when I would go to his. I remember the first time he put it on, that was when I found out how to actually have sex. Before then I didn't have a clue. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

As I got older he would continue to do it. When I was about 14/15 he put on a sex video of him and his ex girlfriend (who was 16 at the time, he was 30). I remember looking away and hed tell me nothing was on telly but I could see from a reflection that it was still on. When I was about to go home he said he was going to continue to watch it later cos it was "turning him on

There is so much more to this story, but I finally told my mum a couple years ago. She told her parents and from then on it was forgotten. I don't know what to do. Only now am I realising how inappropriate that actually was. I'm now 22 and have a child of my own

He has a daughter and if I were to tell the police it would ruin her life and also my grandparents. I really don't know what to do

Do I go to the police?
Do I talk to a therapist?
Do I just leave it and carry on with my life?

Thank you if you got this far and sorry for the essay

 

[BabyHay]

Really? No one at all?

 

[oliv]

I'm sorry I don't really have any advice but I just want to say I'm so sorry you experienced this...

Have you tried speaking to your mother again?

 

[6lilpigs]

I agree to bring it back up with your mother, it may have escalated somehow over the years with nobody letting you know what had been happening. What a creep, I dread when his daughter has friends over

 

[housewifey]

Hi, this is a few weeks old but I hope your still around.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you and that it is obviously still affecting you now. It's terrible that your mother didn't take you more seriously to be honest.

But I think something needs to be done, personally I would go to the police but obviously that's easier said than done. You could do this anonymously if you were worried about the repercussions from your family.

You say he has a daughter now, just imagine if in 10 or 20 years you heard that he'd done the same or even worse to her and you said nothing. I think for her protection alone you need to do something. You may also find some closure for yourself if he faces up to what he put you through.

Hugs for you, I hope reply doesn't come across too harsh but it's difficult to put it into words across a computer.

 

[MindUtopia]

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I know it's easier said than done, but I would get some counselling and support for yourself and personally I would tell anyone in the family who might have children exposed to him, including the mother of the daughter he has now. This was only 5 years ago. He is very likely still exhibiting this sort of behaviour, but with someone new. He definitely poses a risk to children. Whether you want to pursue it with the police is up to you. Sadly, there is likely little evidence and you might feel the experience is too painful to put yourself through. Sexual abuse and assault often seems like a very grey area. It rarely happens as it does in the movies and it's easy to question if what actually happened to you was wrong, especially when you are young, until much later. It's the reason so many people don't report the assaults they have experienced. If you feel it would help you to heal, I would report it. But at the least I would speak up in your family and I would make sure people know about this and it isn't swept under the rug. You will likely find you weren't the only one this happened to and you might prevent it happening to someone else.

 

[BabyHay]

Hi, this is a few weeks old but I hope your still around.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you and that it is obviously still affecting you now. It's terrible that your mother didn't take you more seriously to be honest.

But I think something needs to be done, personally I would go to the police but obviously that's easier said than done. You could do this anonymously if you were worried about the repercussions from your family.

You say he has a daughter now, just imagine if in 10 or 20 years you heard that he'd done the same or even worse to her and you said nothing. I think for her protection alone you need to do something. You may also find some closure for yourself if he faces up to what he put you through.

Hugs for you, I hope reply doesn't come across too harsh but it's difficult to put it into words across a computer.

I've been trying to find this post for ages but I'd forgotten my password and username!

Thanks so much for the lovely reply. I have spoken to my Mum since and she said if I wanted to go to the police then she's with me every step of the way. Not sure if I should as it didn't scar me or affect my life massively.. I know that's no excuse haha

I only thought about telling the police because it reallreally is sick. But then i think of his daughter and that he wouldn't be allowed contact, and also I don't know how my grandparents would take it. (They know about it but didn't seem to give a shit)

Maybe I will one day, I don't know