Advice - FOB who has multiple LOs

[MommaAlexis]

So, my now ex fiancee and I were together for 2-3 years. He has two daughters already, one he does not have any custody of, and hasn't seen in four years. The other he HAD shared custody, but then moved 9 hours away, and now has only seen her once in almost a year. Besides that, we've broken up and I'm about to announce it to everyone that I'm pregnant, the LO who I was also in her life, but he has stopped seeing, is important to me. I want her in my LOs life too, but the other one I have no way of contacting. I feel like FOB should have told the one I'm in contact with's mom, as I think it's kind of disrespectful to find out through everyone else. Either way, she doesn't know and it's been tense between her and I, because before FOB and I broke up I fully was sticking my nose in trying to force him to be in his LOs life. (Not because of her making it difficult, because of him being selfish.) I just want her to understand that I had just found out I was pregnant, and seeing him just give up on his current kids infuriated me. Because it showed exactly what was going to become of me. And it's exactly what DID happen to me. I don't really know about advice, but if you were on the other end, AKA his LOs mums, would you understand why I pushed him so much after? I don't want her to think I'm just like, drama central.

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

[Ccolor=black]personally, i'd understand. But then again if i knew they were pushing him to see his kids in a good way i'd of been on their side anyway i think it all depends on what kind of person she is. If she's mature & grown up about it she should be fine however, she maybe someone who will never like any girl who has been/going with the father of her child & she may just drag it out further.

Really sorry you've been left in this situation x[/color]

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

[Ccolor=black]personally, i'd understand. But then again if i knew they were pushing him to see his kids in a good way i'd of been on their side anyway i think it all depends on what kind of person she is. If she's mature & grown up about it she should be fine however, she maybe someone who will never like any girl who has been/going with the father of her child & she may just drag it out further.

Really sorry you've been left in this situation x[/color]

 

[MumToBe2012]

I think it depends on what type of person she is. If she's anything like my FOB's mum, then she'll be on your side. You've done nothing wrong, and if she can't see that, then it's her loss. At the end of the day, you're carrying her grandchild so she should be supporting you anyway. Just be prepared to expect the worse if you don't know her well.

 

[MommaAlexis]

I messaged her myself today, went better then I thought. Going for tea tomorrow to talk some more in person though.

 

[BadassMom]

I think it's great you two will be getting to know each other, and your children can be in each other's lives despite FOB. Let us know how it goes!

 

[MommaAlexis]

Went very well, it was nice seeing her little one again! I've missed her hehe. Got loads of cuddles from her and played ball. Had a little bit of a rant-fest for a while about FOB, but all is well. thanks for the help ladies!