Advice for a hopeful foster mum!

[FosterMommy]

Hi everyone!

I'm a bit new here, so it's nice to meet you all. I'm a 26 y/o mum of 2 beautiful little boys! I gave up training to be a mental health nurse when I fell pregnant with my first, so my partner is the full-time bread winner at the moment.

I am looking to have another child, but I'd love to be able to work in some capacity one day. Someone has recently suggested foster parenting as a means of income. I would love to do something like this – as I know there is a need for it – but can you really foster children with young kids in the house? I just don't know if this is possible?

I have so many questions about it, but I wanted to actually chat to someone who has done it… Is there anyone out there? I want to know how difficult it is in reality for example… or how to you even go about becoming one? What are the requirements?

Also I know you can go through local authority or go private – but which do you pick? A friend of my cousin uses a private fostering agency.

(They have been great lovely to her but I'm sure there's loads of really good ones out there.)

Apparently you get a lot more one on one support with a private agency, but more flexibility going via local authority. Does anyone here have any experience using either?

Does anyone here foster full time as a career? I know it sounds awful to be a foster parent for the money, but the thought of earning more while being at home all day with my kids sounds amazing, not to mention that I think I could be a really good foster parent. I'm quite cool tempered and laid back, and empathic. Is this enough? I'm at a bit of a loss. If anyone could help share their experiences with me I'd be so grateful!

Any help or advice would be appreciated. I did try and search for a thread about this topic but couldn't find one but if there is one somewhere you could point me to also that'd be fab!

Thank you! Beth x

 

[TTC First]

I can help you out with some of your questions as we have been foster parents for 5 years.


I am looking to have another child, but I'd love to be able to work in some capacity one day. Someone has recently suggested foster parenting as a means of income.

If you are looking at this as an income, it's going to be a very bad income. I worked it out one time and I believe I earn about $0.10 per hour. There are a lot of appointments and there would be a lot of time that you need to commit to a foster child, thus taking time away from your children. I would make more money getting a job at McDonalds and it would take less time.



I would love to do something like this – as I know there is a need for it – but can you really foster children with young kids in the house? I just don't know if this is possible?

If you have 2 children, want 1 more, and foster 1 child, this mean that you would have 4 children? That's a lot of work. There are regulations in my area around the age and number of children in the home. You have to look in your area to see if this would be allowed.


I want to know how difficult it is in reality for example… or how to you even go about becoming one? What are the requirements?

Fostering is not easy, it requires a lot of time and scheduling. There are doctors appointments, specialist appointments, daily visits, worker visits several times per month. In addition to this you have parents that can be very critical and you have to deal with crazy parent requests. Eventually (it happens to most foster parents) you will deal with allegations. This may be minor allegations that just go to workers, it could be major allegations that involve the police.

In order to start up each agency requires different things. There are lots of questions...some very intrusive i.e.. how is your sex life. It took a year for us to get started up.

Also I know you can go through local authority or go private – but which do you pick?

We went through our local authority. If it works the same as it does here, you may make less with the local authority but the kids are not as difficult and you would possibly be full more often. The local authority only uses outside agencies when they are full or nobody will take a kid...because they pay that agency more than they pay a foster parent.


Does anyone here foster full time as a career? I know it sounds awful to be a foster parent for the money, but the thought of earning more while being at home all day with my kids sounds amazing, not to mention that I think I could be a really good foster parent. I'm quite cool tempered and laid back, and empathic. Is this enough?

Keep in mind....fostering a toddler is not like babysitting or caring for your own child. These are children who were raised in homes with inappropriate parents. These kids will come with serious issues and they are a lot of work. This is not a full time career for me. I was at home already and thought that this would be a good thing to do to help out.

Remember...these are kids who suffer from many mental illnesses and often times various forms of abuse. Even new borns will come with drug and alcohol exposure.

If you are up for a lot of work and little money it may be a good fit for you. You will also have to keep in mind that you could have a child in your home for many years. After time, attachment develops. Can you imagine raising a child for 2-3 years and then being told that they are moving out next week? It can happen. We got a newborn (after she detoxed for a month in the hospital). We raised her for 2.5 years and she went for adoption and move out. It's very emotional.

 

[FosterMommy]

Hi,

Thank you so much for your reply. I think I came across as though I was going to foster largely for the money, but it is something I've wanted to do for a long time. I'm not totally naive to the issues the children may have, but I think I probably need more time to assess the impact it would have on me and my boys.


Thanks for being so honest! And well done for being what sounds like a wonderful foster parent - you should be so proud of yourself!

 

[jazmanian]

hi dear mama, What a sacrifice you are making for the sake of your children! I know you won't regret being a SAHM. Fostering is a great thought as there are just so many kids from hard places out there who need loving foster families who truly care about them. We are going through the process to become adoptive parents and part of it is to be eligible to foster. Depending on your state, fostering usually doesn't pay much. With the hard work that you will have to POUR into those kids, the $$ you make is like CPS paying you pennies on the dollar! However, the love and acceptance, and the amount of time that you will need to invest into these foster kids is, PRICELESS! There is not any amount that could compensate how much you will give to these kids from hard places.

I encourage you think twice before fostering and expecting that to be a great way to supplement your household income, especially in your case of having two young kids already. However, if you do have a desire to make a difference to these special kids who need a lot of care and attention, I will root and pray for you!

Hi everyone!

I'm a bit new here, so it's nice to meet you all. I'm a 26 y/o mum of 2 beautiful little boys! I gave up training to be a mental health nurse when I fell pregnant with my first, so my partner is the full-time bread winner at the moment.

I am looking to have another child, but I'd love to be able to work in some capacity one day. Someone has recently suggested foster parenting as a means of income. I would love to do something like this – as I know there is a need for it – but can you really foster children with young kids in the house? I just don't know if this is possible?

I have so many questions about it, but I wanted to actually chat to someone who has done it… Is there anyone out there? I want to know how difficult it is in reality for example… or how to you even go about becoming one? What are the requirements?

Also I know you can go through local authority or go private – but which do you pick? A friend of my cousin uses a private fostering agency.

(They have been great lovely to her but I'm sure there's loads of really good ones out there.)

Apparently you get a lot more one on one support with a private agency, but more flexibility going via local authority. Does anyone here have any experience using either?

Does anyone here foster full time as a career? I know it sounds awful to be a foster parent for the money, but the thought of earning more while being at home all day with my kids sounds amazing, not to mention that I think I could be a really good foster parent. I'm quite cool tempered and laid back, and empathic. Is this enough? I'm at a bit of a loss. If anyone could help share their experiences with me I'd be so grateful!

Any help or advice would be appreciated. I did try and search for a thread about this topic but couldn't find one but if there is one somewhere you could point me to also that'd be fab!

Thank you! Beth x