Advice on how to tell sister? Please help!

[newmomkaren]

Hey guys, I would love some advice on my dilemma. My sister has been trying to get pregnant for several years now with no luck. As those of you who have been TTC for a long time would understand, she has been especially sad and emotional about this. I'm four years younger than my sister and I just got married two months ago. Out of the four months that we have been TTC , I have gotten a BFP twice. The first ended in miscarriage a couple of months ago when I was 8 weeks along. I told her about that pregnancy when I was 5 weeks because we are pretty close and I didn't want her to feel left out. Although she was excited for me, I could sense that she had mixed feelings. I just got another BFP yesterday, and last night we talked on the phone about her having possible endometriosis and possible ovarian cancer and needing surgery. I'm nervous about telling her about the pregnancy because of everything that she has been through, but at the same time, I don't want her to feel left out if I don't tell her because we are pretty close. Any suggestions on when to tell her, and when I tell her how should I tell her? I'm worried that if I wait, she'll be upset that I didn't share such big news with her. I love my sister and I don't want to hurt her. I just feel like I'm stuck in a no-win situation.

 

[brandonsgirl]

Are you planning on telling anyone else about this pregnancy at this moment in time?

If you are keeping it to yourselves until you feel comfortable but still wish to tell your sister due to not wanting her to feel left out. Then maybe it's best to wait a little while. If no one else knows then she isn't really being left out. It's just a case of waiting until YOU are comfortable with sharing the news due to the previous mc. Which i'm really sorry to hear about btw.

As you mentioned you are very close then i would suspect she would feel sad that you felt you couldn't tell her just to spare her feelings. She might very well be sad knowing that you are indeed pregnant again when she is having health issues right now. But i'm sure she would feel even worse knowing you felt you couldn't confide in her due to them issues. If you know what i mean. I am sure she would want to be there for you as your sister during this time.

I would tell her when you feel comfortable with sharing news about this pregnancy. Just be completely honest with her and let her know that you don't wish to upset her or make her feel bad but you respect your relationship as sisters and don't want to insult her by not sharing the fact that you're pregnant.

 

[littlesteph]

I remember when my sister fell pregnant after me and my hubby had been trying a while, I think it was about a year at that point, so not as long as your sister has.
I remember how I felt, although happy for her, apart of me felt heartbroken it wasn't me. I was round my dad's at the time and she told me on the phone. I had a good cry to my dad after. I can't help but think if she had told me face to face I wouldn't have been so heart broken.
Face to face is the best way to tell her, I know you can't really hide how you feel when being told face to face but its the better way to do it.
Like you said you and sister are close, so i'm sure no matter when and how you tell her she'll be happy for you.