Advice on whether I should TTC?

[stella123]

Hello
First of all, I should probably introduce myself. I'm 19 years old and have a wonderful boyfriend of 3.5 years. I feel very comfortable with him and knows he loves me more than anything in the world. However, we have been on and off over this period and seen other people, mainly down to me not believing he could love me as much as he say he does - funny what paternal deprivation can do to a girl.
Anyway, we have a very active sex life, and I have just gone onto Cerazatte to hopefully stop my very painful periods. On the 4th day of moving onto this my bf and I had unprotected sex twice, during what would have been my fertile days of my cycle. What are the chances of my already conceiving? And when should I do a test?


I am currently a student, and my boyfriend works full-time, getting paid £780 a month. Financially, we are not in the best situation to bring up a child, but if there's anything I've learnt, it's the love you give the child, not the material goods.
Like I said, I am very broody and a mature 19 year old, who only drinks rarely (the odd glass of wine) and doesn't take part in most activities of peers. I spend most of my free time doing work experience for midwifery and doulas and looking after my two godchildren (1.5 years and 3 months)

I feel I just need some advice from an outside party, who can express their honest opinion on my situation.
Thanks girls, I'm glad there's somewhere like this where we can discuss issues without judgement

 

[HodgePodge]

From what I know about cerezette the chances should be slim because it is in your system within 24hours and forms a barrier over your cervix to stop sperm getting to your egg

 

[stella123]

Thanks for the advice,
It is the first time of being on the mini-pill and been told very confusing statements from my doctors and the leaflet itself, hense the confusion. I was allergic to the combined pill, getting cervicitis and cervical erosion with lots of polyps. After a year of condoms, and my doctor informing she won't fit the IUD as I have not previously had children, I have found myself on Cerazette.

 

[HodgePodge]

I know the feeling....i'm not allowed any other pill apart from the mini pill mainly because of the risks of it affecting my blood pressure. Hope it works for you!!!!

 

[lemongrass]

First of all, welcome! Second- I don't want to sound mean here or anything and I do believe that a teenager can be a loving and wonderful mom, but I don't think you are ready to be a mom. I say this because if you were ready then you wouldn't be asking us whether you should TTC. You would know without a doubt inside of you that you are ready. So give it a few more years! Its hard to WTT, lots of us here are, but we know its the best for our future babies.

 

[Lilly12]

First of all, welcome! Second- I don't want to sound mean here or anything and I do believe that a teenager can be a loving and wonderful mom, but I don't think you are ready to be a mom. I say this because if you were ready then you wouldn't be asking us whether you should TTC. You would know without a doubt inside of you that you are ready. So give it a few more years! Its hard to WTT, lots of us here are, but we know its the best for our future babies.

I totally agree with this.
If you know you and your other half are ready 100%, you wouldnt be asking it on a forum, ttc or not?!
You say you're mature for your age, which I surely believe, but when I was 19 I thought I was ready for a kid too..which I now know I wasn't because i've grown up and matured so much the last 5 years. (19-24).
Plus you said you two have been on and off, which to me, doesnt sound like a very stable relationship where you'd want to bring a child in.
There's no need to rush having a baby!
Good luck with your decisions.

 

[Amygdala]

Welcome to bnb!
I think if I was in your situation, I'd probably want to get more financially stable first. I take it you're a student midwife? So why not plan to ttc once you're established in that job, have a steady income, mat benefits etc?
But also (and this is just what I would feel/do so please don't take offence or think I'm judging) I would want to make damn sure my relationship is strong enough. For me that would mean at least 3 or 4 years of being "on" and happy together and probably having lived together for a good proportion of that. Not to sound patronising but the fact is that people change a lot in their late teens, so what works now may not work in a few years and what you want now may not be what you want then.
Having said that, I think there's nothing wrong with working towards ttc (getting your career started, maybe moving OH's along, moving in together, working on being a stable couple etc and maybe doing some "before we have a child" type things like travelling). All those things will keep you occupied and you'll be in a so much better situation in say 3 or 4 years. I agree completely that the love you give a child is the most important thing. But I think trying to make sure he/she has the best possible start in life is part of that.
Good luck with your decision!

 

[stella123]

Thank you all so much for the advice
I have to say I agree with all of it. Sometimes I think you need that outside opinion to drag you back to reality. At the moment I think I'm looking out of rose tinted glasses as my relationship is better than ever

And you're right, if i was sure I wanted to conceive, I wouldn't be asking this question.
For now, it can be a plan for the future after me and my partner are financially stable and no our relationship is strong enough.
However, if I was to fall pregnant on the pill, which I know is unlikely, but at the same time completely possible, I know I could mentally prepare myself and cope with what I have, you know, make do. I'm pro choice, but in myself have always been unfavoured towards termination.

Thanks again for the responses girls!

 

[BabyQ]

I think that if it did happen and you became pregnant then you would be a fabulous mum and absolutely cope .

But I have to agree with what some other people have said...I was similar to you, quite mature for my age, finished partying hard when I was 18, settled down with my fella, bought a house...Through my early twenties I had 'bouts' of broodiness, but they always passed as I finished a course at uni and started another one, or as I got a better job, or went on a nice holiday, a few months later I was always so glad I didn't decide to TTC! A few times I was tempted to come off the pill, as friends my age were getting pregnant and I felt envious, but I was never quite sure if I was ready or not.

Anyway, when i hit 28, BAM! Broody, broody, obsessed and desperate for a child! This time, i KNEW I was ready and want nothing else right now than a little bub, I'm glad I waited a few years, you will just KNOW when the time is right, the urge is just immense! xxx