advice please

[starsunshine]

I had a difficult first birth with my son and have asked if I can have a home birth this time in the hope that it'll take less time to recover if I go natural. My problem is that my husband isn't the most supportive person. I don't want anyone else there and I do have a very strong will. What can I do to prepare and am I being overambitious?

 

[HopefulEm]

By 'no one else there', do you mean you want an unassisted birth (free birth)?

I think that doing the birthing option that feels most right to you is important. It's just about being as educated as you can about that choice so you know what to expect and how you want to handle it.

 

[starsunshine]

I mean I don't want my mum or sister with me. I'll be wanting the midwife! It took 3weeks to leave the sofa last time and I don't want that again.

 

[HopefulEm]

I'd say go for it. It's supposed to be easier (since you're in familiar territory = feel safe) to give birth at home. The more relaxed you can be the more you're body is free to focus on it's job instead of tensing up.

 

[Feronia]

I don't think you're being overly ambitious at all! Have your husband watch the Business of Being Born if you can. I've seen that film calm down nervous husbands.

Or you can remind him about the safety of home birth for low risk women. It's as safe as hospital births for low-risk women but with far fewer interventions. Plenty of studies out there showing that, so showing him the research behind it might calm him down.

 

[starsunshine]

I'll see if I can find that film for him to watch. He'll be much better at home, he's a naughty boy in hospitals as that's how he deals with his nerves! Thanks for your advice.

 

[NDH]

There are also some great books written by homebirth dads which help some men get on board with homebirth. Ill see if i can find them.

 

[Nisenitnyy]

I hope he comes around for you! I had a miserable experience with my first too in the hospital. I had somehow managed to talk dh into a birth center with #2, but I really didn't like the staff. I ended up praying and researching and praying and praying and praying and finally told dh at 35 weeks that I wanted to stay home (unassisted) and he consented. I was shocked beyond all belief because he was 1000000% against a birth center for #1 and really wasn't super fond of the idea for #2, so I didn't expect him to be ok with a UC ever. We have since had UCs for #2, #3, #4, and #5 and God-willing will be having another in September with baby #6.