Advice Please

[andypandy2]

Ok girls, i feel incredibly mean writing this thread (and it's a long one) but here goes...
Basically my eldest has just turned two and my niece is 20 months. Now, ever since my sister and i went back to work off maternity leave (when the girls were approx nine months) we have helped one another out with child care, me having my neice every other monday and my sister (until recently) having my daughter at least one afternoon a week. That was fine!
BUT, now it's not so fine! This sounds horrid, but since my neice hit about 14months old i have found her incredibly hard work in comparison to my daughter. Now i'm in no way shape or form one of those competitive mums that compares children's development and i absolubtley love my neice to bits, but where as my daughter is respectful of her toys and knows where the boundaries lay, my neice is like a whirlwind, doesn't really settle to play and when she leaves it looks like i have been burgled lol!
Now this doesn't sound so bad (for just once a fortnight) but i have also just recently had another baby and am breastfeeding her and i am finding that when my neice does something she's not supposed to be doing (ie in the fridge lol,) my eldest gets really cross at her because she knows it's wrong and they end up physically fighting usually whilst lo is feeding and i can't get up and disipline properly, or my other problem is that when my eldest tells me she wants the toilet, i am having to cart all three girls upstairs because i can't leave my neice and lo together for even a second as she is so (accidently) rough! (I once went upstairs on my own to grab a nappy and my newborn had been moved several feet from her original position on the play mat!)
My question to you girls is what would you do? My instict is to tell my sister it's not working when she come to pick up this afternoon, but because she very occasionally has my girls when my child minder is off i don't want to shoot myself in the foot! *but there again i only work two afternoons and started using the childminder in the first place because these were also issues for me when my girls were their*. I ALSO LOVE AND DON'T WANT TO FALL OUT WITH MY SISTER. XX

 

[moomin_troll]

i think ur sister will understand if u say i cant handle all 3 children at once.

toddlers are hard work as it is i dont think i could cope with 2 toddlers and a newborn either. hopefuly ur sister will understand this and then maybe in time u can start having her again.

zanes a very calm boy and very well behaved so it does shock me when i see other toddlers who are well what can be seen as naughty compared to zane so dont feel bad about saying it.

ive said far worse to my sister and we are still close lol good luck x

 

[lalitas charm]

I would have a quiet word with your sister and tell her that you cant cope with having 2 toddlers plus a newborn. BUT I wouldnt say it was because of her daughter's behaviour, that'd just cause conflict between you. Say its something like when there are 2 toddlers playing and you are feeding you find it difficult to monitor them to make sure nothing happens to them or something like that.

 

[andypandy2]

WOW, amazingly enough when my sister came this afternoon, she actually turned round to me and said because i am 5 miles out of town and because she has to be at work for half past eight she is finding it too much of a hastle to come to me and she might just use her local childminder instead! I feel a huge sense of relief! Thankyou for your replies girls xx

 

[jojo2605]

WOW, amazingly enough when my sister came this afternoon, she actually turned round to me and said because i am 5 miles out of town and because she has to be at work for half past eight she is finding it too much of a hastle to come to me and she might just use her local childminder instead! I feel a huge sense of relief! Thankyou for your replies girls xx

Haha brilliant!

That worked out perfectly huh! Glad you didn't need to confront her

 

[moomin_troll]

thats great lol