Posting this here too for advice I've been desperate to become a mother since I was around 11, I'm now nearly 21, suffer with severe avoidant personality disorder since childhood. Basically, I'm unable to make friends, connect with people, socialise in ANY way, all because of fear. I fear being humilated, ridiculed, criticized, so i avoid people because i'm extremely sensitive. I've never had a job, been on disability benefits since I was 16. I've always had these problems, I was always a painfully shy kid at school, and I still have these problems, only worse. I have tried cbt, NLP, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, linden method, selfhelp books, medications, nothing has worked. I don't know if i'll ever be able to lead a 'normal' life, or if i'll ever be cured, and i'm tired of being mentally tormented. Because of my problems, i've never had a relationship, nor will I ever be able to keep one, because so far, I am greatly misunderstood as just being shy, or not trying hard enough, etc which just makes me feel worse. I am unable to leave the house alone. I've been given a life I don't want, with no hope of being a normal person or ever being able to contribute to society. The only thing that could ever help is becoming a mother. You might think that's selfish or crazy, However, my situation is different and the only thing that could motivate me, encourage me and give me the strength to overcome this, is the goal of having a child which is all i have ever wanted for years, I am very maternal. Then I would have every reason to fight, i'd just do it, because I would have everything I need. I know that is the only way I can get out of this rut, with the hope of a happier, more fulfilled life. I'd love to be a foster carer and adopt, but I know i would be rejected once they find out i tried to kill myself 4 times when I was 13/14, and the fact that I have all these other problems. The rare times I have ever held a baby, I have felt so much joy and peace, my problems didn't matter. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but it will definitely give me contentment, joy and fulfillment. Because I don't have a partner, and I won't ever be able to find someone willing to put up with me, so I'd use an open sperm donor.