Advise please.

[babytots]

Hi everyone I've never thought to come on here to seek support until I noticed in another thread this section was mentioned.

I have a nearly 4 year old son who since the age of about 2 has acted differently to that of his peers. At first I didn't worry told myself he was young and that maybe he was just a slow developer. By the time he reached 3 I kinda knew it was something more then that. He started nursery in January and then it became quite clear to me.

At the moment I'm finding him really difficult and I just don't know what to do.

The things I have noticed are:

Delayed speech

His speech is behind his peers and although he's now saying sentences its not long ones maybe 3-4 words. The longest sentence he can say is one he's learnt from me. "Because I said so thats why" any others are "lewis got car" or maybe sometimes he will say "lewis got red car" Lewis got little car"

Terrified of loud noises.

Used to be everything that was loud now its mainly the hoover, my hairdryer, traffic especially motorbikes or emergency services and a new one the noise sellotape makes when you pull it. Each one has him covering his ears shouting loud noise. If its something within the home he tends to run away to another room.

Trouble controlling his anger

He gets frustrated easily and that frustration turns to anger. Our youngest usually being his target of choice or he will just go and boot one of our doors. He has at least 2 meltdowns a day and he attacks Harley at least 5 times a day (Harley has now learnt the only way to get him off is to bite him hitting back etc doesn't get him anywhere). This is something I want to knock on the head as non of my others were biters just Harley and as horrible as Lewis is to Harley he doesn't deserve to get bitten everytime.

Not understanding emotion

When he hurts someone he doesn't quite grasp that it hurts them and if for instance if he has grabbed his brother he won't let go when his brother starts to cry I have to remove him.

Doesn't listen to me.

If I ask him to do something or tell him to leave Harley alone he doesn't listen. I have to get on my knees and get him to look me in my eyes for him to register that I'm talking to him. Being in public I find it so stressful. He will listen to Daddy more but he shouts (which I hate as its sending a negative vibe to Lewis).

Always hyper from the moment he wakes til he goes to bed.

He never stops always full of energy and gets very hyper.

He doesn't like change or new routines.

When he started nursery it was all new to him. He didn't like it and cried everyday solid for about 6-8 weeks. He's now used to that routine but it will all change again in September when he is joined by some new nursery pals.

Doesn't socialise well.

When he started nursery he cut himself off from everyone and would climb the tables or hide when it was group time. He's been there 4 months now and has started to form a strong bond with a set of twins (though sadly they go to reception in Sept whilst Lewis is still in nursery).

All those things concern me. I have seen my health visitor about it and she came to our home to assess him. Sods Law he was good as gold and she had no concerns (had my youngest been awake when she came it would have been a different matter).

She has however referred him for speech therapy.

This past week he has gotten to be a right handful worse then usual and with my hubby working long hours I'm physically and emotionally drained.

I want to get a second opinion on my son but wouldn't know where to start. Would it be wise to keep a diary of everything that happens with him each day? I was thinking of also recording him on my phone when he's at his worst just so my health visitor can see what I have to deal with.

Also despite the above he is exceptionally clever. Can count up to about 50-60, knew his colours and shapes well before he was 2 and has an amazing memory. He has low concentration when it comes to toys but will sit for hours with lego or bricks building things and then breaking them back down. He loves seeing how things work.

Am I just a worrywart or do I have cause for concern would it be wise to get him seen again? x

 

[Reid]

Hi first of hugs think you might have seen some of my posts a couple of thee above I can relate to the speech my son has some words though they come and go he won't say something for a long time then out of the blue use it again. He has some short sentences like all done ready steady go.
The other thing I can relate to his he to won't listen to me unless he wants to I don't know if this go's together with the speech.
We're currently on a very very long waiting list for salt. Was it yourself that asked about book bug if so I replied in that post earlier on.
Don't be afraid to phone the hv and ask them out again if you feel there not taking your concerns on board you could keep a diary of the behaviour that's causing you concern or video it and show her. Aww it's tough going if like me you have all these questions and no one can answer them xx

 

[emmi26]

Hey hun
Go to your gp you need to ex plain all your concerns that's where I started with Harry although Harry's difficultys were evident from birth. You need to get your little man referred to a paediatrician there's can be a wait of a few months for that to happen but your gp can refer don't wait for a hv hun ours tried to refer Harry to a speech therapist which in Harry's case won't work as he needs specialist help
Harry starts special school in September and I'm wondering if your little man might need some extra help at school again the gp can help and the paediatrician can start you off on the right track for some extra support in school if that's what he needs
Honestly hun no one but you will fight for your little one don't take no and keep going till you get the support and help you need
It's taken me 2 years but finally Harry has everything he will ever need in place
Good luck

Emma

 

[JASMAK]

Some of it sounds like normal boys and some sounds a bit like sensory disorder. The socialization sounds okay especially since he had friends. I would personally start with the speech and get a referral to a pediatrician.

 

[babytots]

Hi ladies thanks for your replies. We have an appointment for October with the speech therapist and if his behaviour is still the same as it is now then I shall push to try and get a referral.

His anger issues are still evident though he has stopped taking it out on his little brother and they now actually play nicely together (as well as get up to no good together).x

 

[minties]

I agree that half of it just sounds like how kids are in this age group, but there are some concerning bits. I think speech therapy would really help so that he can express himself better.

Taking things out on younger siblings is pretty normal from my experience. I did it to my brother, and Thomas does it to his sister about once a day. Also being hyper from dawn to dusk...that's Thomas too. He never stops moving.

 

[babytots]

I agree that half of it just sounds like how kids are in this age group, but there are some concerning bits. I think speech therapy would really help so that he can express himself better.

Taking things out on younger siblings is pretty normal from my experience. I did it to my brother, and Thomas does it to his sister about once a day. Also being hyper from dawn to dusk...that's Thomas too. He never stops moving.

Thanks my daughters are close in age like my boys are but there was never agression like there is with my eldest son which is why it concerned me. He would have a glazed look in his eyes and not really realise what he was doing was wrong. But I think he's realised his brother can be his allie rather then his enemy. He will take his anger out on other things but I'm glad its no longer his brother. x

 

[sequeena]

Has he had a hearing test? A lot of speech issues are solved by having a test done. It could be glue ear or perhaps hearing loss.

I would say the anger is related to the delay in speech. You'd be angry a lot too if you couldn't express yourself.

I would definitely see if there are some issues but don't worry too much right now especially as he is so clever.