Age Gaps

[twinkle1975]

I've just been reading a copy of Good Housekeeping my Mum gave me and there's an article called 'You meet your friends in the most surprising places'

The first 2 friends have an 18 year age gap between them. I have no problem with this &, at 37, have close friends who range from 23 to 72. However I was reading some of the interview & it just made me wonder whether people would read it differently if it was written by a man? I'll quote some of it & see what you think...

"I used to look forward to my chats with Katherine - I was a regular at the local hairdresser where she worked as a Saturday girl, and although she was only 14, we always got on well. I would give her advice on exams and boys, and she would listen to my stories about work, holidays and home life with my husband. There was a big difference in our ages, but that didn't seem to matter as we chatted away.

Then one day, 3 years after we met, I went in one Saturday and she wasn't there, The Salon owner said she's been knocked down by a car and had been signed off work for 6 weeks. I was so worried about her that I persuaded the salon to give me her address and went straight round to see her without even waiting for them to finish my hair - it was still dripping wet.!

I found her lying in bed, dazed, her head swollen and covered with cuts and bruises. Thankfully she only had minor injuries and before I left I suggested we meet for lunch when she recovered.

From then on our friendship went beyond chats in the salon.....The age gap doesn't make any difference to us. We always feel better about things after we have spoken to each other. We just love each other's company"

Is it different because people assume that a 32 year old man would only ever have sexual interest in a 14 year old girl or because they assume that a 32 year old woman wouldn't?

Not suggesting that there was any ulterior motive in this friendship - it just made me think.

 

[Lightworker]

I hope I have understood your OP properly.

In terms of same-sex friendships, with an age gap..I think they are ok, and have some positives..both parties can learn alot from each other..I however, don't like this type of friendship that much because the tendency (naturally) will be for the older of the friends to be more "senior" in the friendship if you like..it does not seem like its on equal footing. I have made similar friendships like that, and I have ended them for the same reason...there's a natural tendency to "mother" you instead of being your friend.

Different-sex friendships with an age gap..man..i don't know..it doesn't feel right..but I can't rationalize my feelings..

 

[JASMAK]

sort of sounds like a mom/child relationship...and I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I am one of the youngest at my work, at age 37..and I have many work 'moms' who take care of me...it sounds similar.

 

[alaskagrown]

I think that because there are so many cases documented where older men prey on younger girls, people probably would look at a relationship between a 32 year old man/14 year old girl suspiciously.

Older women/young girl predation does happen, but because it is pretty rare I would not immediately question this type of relationship. I have made a number of good woman friends who are 15-20 years my senior, but it's been more of a mother/daughter kind of relationship like a previous poster mentioned. I once befriended an older guy (he was the janitor at my college) who was super nice to me and had daughters my age....turns out he was interested in more than friendship! YUCK! I'm so naive sometimes!