All my friends are pregnant & I got my period today..

[MrsChairman]

so I am depressed. One of my good friends just announced today that she's pregnant is her second baby and I just got my period today. it's hard when your whole life you try not to get pregnant and then you try to get pregnant and you think it will just happen. but it doesn't just happen you feel like it's something that you've been preventing and now that you're not preventing it poof it would happen. but I'm 38 and even though I feel 28 and my husband is 28 I'm not. I feel like my body is betraying me and I'm depressed. and I know that doesn't help any of this I need to think positive. do any of you guys feel this way or have ever felt this way? how do you deal with it? thanks for letting me vent guys.

 

[Clizard]

I think a great way of dealing is just getting on here and venting.
We understand and don't care if you aren't sounding positive or up beat because we all feel like that too. Friends getting pregnant can be the hardest thing to be happy about, because it's normal in our situation to think "why not me?".
Have a rant, blow your top, be angry at the world for 10 minutes then get back to work, cooking, cleaning, caring, studying and every thing else you do in everyday life.
I think this place is kind of like therapy.

 

[Vonn]

I second everything Clizard said. This place is a godsend. It's okay to give yourself some credit for carrying on with everyday life for the most part while under this stress. And dealing with what is going on in your body/DH's body is stressful. That doesn't even count the jealousy and guilt you feel when you find out someone is pg, or even just when you see a pg woman walking down the street. I swear, some days they are everywhere! If this is making you seriously depressed, find a therapist or fertility counselor.

In terms of coping, I have a fertility yoga/meditation dvd that I am trying to use more. It is calming and yoga is good for you anyway. I also do acupuncture. I get massages once in a while as a treat. I do deep breathing since it's good for oxygenating blood and it's calming, I need to do that more.

 

[smithco]

I feel like that often. Everyone around me has babies and are expecting. I love all my friends kids and my nieces/nephews, but it's not the same as having my own. It down right hurts my heart. Both my sis in laws are trying and I am so scared I will have to fake being happy if the conceive before me. I sound so horrible saying that. I'm 39 and my bf is 33. Not a huge difference but it's just not a time sensitive issue for him. It's down right tough. I'm still trying to deal with it too.

 

[Mdc]

MrsChairman, I feel your pain, and man it sucks the big one. I think our situations are pretty similar because I thought it would happen quick. In school they make it seem like if you looked at a penis a little too long you would get preggo...what a joke! No magic pill but each month I let myself be sad/mad and some tears if needed, and then I try to put my big girl panties on and get back on the horse next time. Oh yeah...usually wine is involved

Best of luck your BFP and I hope it is sooner rather than later.

 

[TLK]

Just got a BNF on DPO13. Ive been TTC #2 for over a year with 2 MC. And my friend is complaining that she got pregnant too quickly. I wanted to punch her in the face.

Good luck to us. Maybe us "older" moms who take longer to conceive are just more fantastic moms when it does happen.

 

[wookie130]

so I am depressed. One of my good friends just announced today that she's pregnant is her second baby and I just got my period today. it's hard when your whole life you try not to get pregnant and then you try to get pregnant and you think it will just happen. but it doesn't just happen you feel like it's something that you've been preventing and now that you're not preventing it poof it would happen. but I'm 38 and even though I feel 28 and my husband is 28 I'm not. I feel like my body is betraying me and I'm depressed. and I know that doesn't help any of this I need to think positive. do any of you guys feel this way or have ever felt this way? how do you deal with it? thanks for letting me vent guys.

What you're feeling is so very, very normal. I ended up having to go see a therapist after 2 consecutive miscarriages, and then experiencing a bout of infertility...and during that time when I couldn't get pregnant, 7 (SEVEN!!!) of my close friends were pregnant, and having babies. It was God-awful, and I struggled to feel remotely happy for any of them, sadly. I felt like a jealous, selfish, awful person. What kind of a friend was I, when I couldn't even share in their joy? Why did I have to make it about ME and my own struggles. Well, I came to learn that I was not an awful person, nor was I a crappy friend. I was normal, and these were NORMAL feelings for someone in my position.

If you have a support group for people struggling with infertility, I'd encourage you to check it out. If not, you can always go speak with a personal counselor or therapist...it helped me tremendously. And yes, coming in here and venting definitely helps too!

 

[ItsAWonder]

As many women have said, I felt like this as well when I was ttc my first, had had 2 losses and was 36. What you are experiencing is perfectly normal. When I was ready I started acupuncture and Mayan Fertility Massage. Both of those treatments greatly helped my mood and my outlook. After only a few months of treatments I did conceive a viable pregnancy and I truly hope you do as well.

 

[marlin26]

Ohhh yes my dear I feel u every step of the way... I have been in this game for 10 months now.. And every month it gets harder and harder to feel positive.. I know what ur feeling with ur friend disappointment with ur body I'm 35 and I had a tubal reversal.. I'm OK ..or should I say I'm NORMAL that's what the doc's all say.. Hubby's is OK.43 yrs old him not me.. Lol. We just haven't been successful.. I have a close friend who mind u through out this whole ttc her family has managed to get pregnant. I'm talking 2 daughters her sister and herself.. Dang!! All she need is he 15 Yr old daughter and 6 Yr old son and it will be complete .. Omg I don't even call or text her no more CUZ I'm afraid she will say guess what so am so is pg.. It hurts, its hard to stay positive.. All I can say is its a crazy ride we have to keep each other up u know.. I'm in my tww now 1/2 way through it. But I do this every time I look for symptoms and I phsyc myself out I got line eyes.. Lol ..
This month has been really weird but then I say that every month so what I did was stopped buying the bfp strips on line although they are cheep I go through at least 50 of them in a month I'm a crazy tester. N if I see a faint line I get excited .. I had a cp in April .. May I don't know I had a pos neg pos neg walked out the Dr. Office in tears. N this month I'm holding for a pos.. But if not I will forever cry and then get back up dust myself off and try again.. That parts fun..lol

 

[marlin26]

Mrs chairman ur not alone we are all here...... And we have all been there. support is the best.. But I will tell u like I tel myself everyday .. UR BEAUTIFUL, GRACIOUS ,WOMAN, IT WILL HAPPEN U JUST GOT TO NOT TRY SO HARD.. been better said than done.. I know sometimes when trying u get lost in the moment and well sex to me becomes mechanical... Or a chore.. Let loose drink a drink every once in a while let loose and roll with the emotions.. If it happens u had fun doing it.. if not u still had fun .. Lol .. And well I say I'm going to focus on me and try to lose weight but its so darn hard. N lately hubby has been real sick throwing up stomach pains n such I don't have time to focus on me.. But I look at the bright side and say at least I'm not obsessing hitting myself on my hand every time I reach for a test.. Lol