Almost 12 months - doesn't mimic, wave, point

[Mafi419]

Hi I don't want to be "that" mum, but I have to ask this because it's driving me insane! My baby boy is very vivacious, social and happy - people usually call him "happy face" because he is always smiling. He does plenty of eye contact, particularly with me, his other mommie and my father (his grandpa). But he can do it with almost anyone, he really is social. He has practically no separation anxiety - which actually bothers me a little. But what is really getting to me is the fact that he doesn't mimic anything (like at all, sounds or movement), he doesn't point and I'm not sure if he intentionally says anything. He babbles all day long and he says things like "mama" a lot, and sometimes I know it's intentional, but sometimes it's just something he says...his pincer grasp ability is a little off too...he couldn't pincer grasp at all until 3 weeks ago and I started to insist a lot on it and now he does pincer grasp . not that well, but he does. He doesn't answer to his name consistently, but I do believe he only does that with me and his other mommie. He doesn't blow raspberries, doesn't wave, doesn't point, doesn't understand simple commands. If I ask "where is mommie?" he has no idea what I'm talking about. If I say "look at this" he doesn't. Also, he simply refuses to be still long enough so I can show him things or sing songs with him. He likes to be moving constantly. His gross motor skills are fine, he creeps all the time and stands by himself for some time. He walks a little while holding himself to the furniture and he is almost walking. He loves to jump and he plays with all of his toys the way he is supposed to...he can distract himself alone with his toys for quite some time (20-30 minutes), but he does require me to be near so he can look at me and get an approving smile (and he smiles back). Th pediatrician always says "let's give him some more time". But I worry anyway. Is this normal, not mimicking at all? not pointing (not even randomly)? Am I not stimulating him properly? Is he just more focused on gross motor skills and will cathc up in a few months? Sorry for all the question, I bet you get a lot of topics like this! Thank you for reading

Oh yeah, I almost forgot: he does clap! He started clapping at 10 months and a half, and now he claps everytime I clap or everytime I ask him to clap! And he bangs his toys together all the time!

 

[luckyhug]

Hi! I have a 14 month old (boy too!) who doesn't clap or point. He started waving and some basic understanding only recently - wasn't at 12 months. He babbles lots too but def no words. I managed to get a Speech and lang appt for this week (long story!) and they basically said he was fine, if a teeny bit behind but they wouldn't worry about any of this until closer to 2 years unless he was completely lacking in social skills or was having trouble eating / chewing etc, as they usually have an explosion of skills in that time and boys are notorious for being a bit slower with language skills.

Sounds like your LO is doing just fine. My boy is also still in the banging, shaking, dropping stage - he will copy me if I do something like show him how a noisy toy works, and will try to mimic a noise sometimes if he finds it interesting to him. The sp and lang said this was completely age appropriate and your LO is younger than mine.

What Speech and lang said to me was: use very simple language and sentences so he can pick up on the key words, lots of repetition, lots of noises e.g. Animal, car noises etc, songs (he will listen even if not sitting still) and be really overt on the skills ypu wish him to pick up e.g. Really ott pointing and clapping etc.

If he's smily, social and looks to you for reassurance then he's doing just fine! Not all babies have sep anxiety - mine does a little but will still happily interact with strangers if he knows I am around. Please try not to worry too much - I know it's hard, I def do my fair share, but not all babies reach the age of one and suddenly start reeling out their list of first words.

Hope some of that makes sense and reassures you a little.

 

[Mafi419]

Hi luckyhug, thank you so much for your reply! It does reassures me a lot! All I hear is "oh my baby is so smart and he builds blocks, says 10 words and runs all around the house at 10 months!" so I was almost sure my baby was the only one who behaves like a big happy goofy baby

Yeah, LO is totally in the banging, shaking, dropping stage as well! I feel much more at ease I'll do the things you suggested It's not so much de speech thing that bother me, it's the lack of understanding...but yeah, he's probably completely on target, I'm just stressed over nothing

He looks for me for reassurance all the time! And he laughs when I laugh (that's the only sound he mimics)

I never understood the animal sounds thing. I'm a SAHM but I have no clue how to introduce animal sounds...I know I have to say things like "the cat says meow" and stuff, but how do I do this if I can't catch his attention? He has this new toy called beatbo that dances and sings and a few weeks ago he ignored it completely, but now he even kind of dances when it plays

Thank you for your feedback

 

[luckyhug]

I totally get what you're saying - my LO has had some gross motor delays too (he was a 35 weeker with hypotonia) so all I hear is 'my 5 month old is crawling, cruising and reading Shakespeare' but to cut a long story short, we've been under physio as at 11 months he wasn't even pushing up on all fours and this eve at just over 14 months he took his first few independent steps - not bad for a boy that looked like he may have some form of disability just 3 months ago!

Anyway, I digress, but it shows you how much these littlies can do in a short space of time - once THEY are ready!

It doesn't need to be animal sounds - get one of his cars and go brum brum etc etc - the idea is that these sounds are much more motivating for them than 'car' and they're more likely to replicate, same with choo choo, toot toot, etc etc... Does he have some small world animals or books with animals in? Crawl around with him making the sounds etc - also songs and rhymes and just keep repeating yourself - my LO totally knows - milk, juice, dummy, ball, mummy, daddy, etc just because I've repeated them over and over - he doesn't say them yet but sure he will by two - which is the only point speech and lang will ever really worry! He will smash that!

Keep the faith - it's hard when others are doing so much more at this age but we shouldn't compare. My almost 4 year old little girl didn't say her first word until 14 months or walk until 15 months and she's now the brightest button I ever did know - so much can happen between now and 2/3 years old, or even in a few months!

Feel free to pm me if you want any more info but I'm pretty certain you have absolutely no need to worry, enjoy your lovely, smily little one 😄😄 x

 

[Mafi419]

If you LO is walking at 14 months it is wonderful! Even more if he's a preemie! So you would say that there's a big difference between 11 and 14 months, right? Maybe because I'm with him all the time I never notice big development changes...

I will follow your advice, thank you very much for that he actually plays with cars but I will add the "vrumm" and see what happens!

I think the problem is the comparison, really...my grandmother who only sees him once a week always seems to think that he is brilliant and so advanced! She always notices things that I don't and she says things like "look, I just showed him how to do this and he immediately got it! He did it right away! He is so smart!"...I think maybe I'm focusing too much on what he can't do because she is right, you only need to show him once how a toy works and he immediately gets it and does it!

Thank you so much for the time you took and your attention! It reassured me a lot

 

[izzlesnizzle]

My 3 year old didn't do any of that at 12 months either and she is a very bright toddler who is progressing really well with number and letter recognition and writing her name. I used to worry she wasn't pointing and doing all that stuff but she was always very physical and concentrated her efforts on climbing etc. I wouldn't worry too much at this point. He might just be focusing on other things and he'll get there in his own time.

 

[StranjeGirl]

I agree with everyone else. Dd1 is almost 4 and didn't point til 21 months and didn't even clap til 15 months. She was speech delayed, but has mostly caught up now with no outside help. Dd2 is almost a year and is not pointing either or understanding what I say. I think it's pretty normal!

 

[Mafi419]

Thank you for your replies! izzlesnizzle and StranjeGirl that's exactly what I was looking for: people that went through this and now have kids with normal developments. I'm much more at ease now

 

[Mafi419]

Hi! How are you little ones now? Are they developing as expected? My baby still doesn't wave, point or shows anything to me. He ignores me when I call his name, but he usually looks when other people call him. He ignores almost everything I tell him. But I know he gets some. Because I can call him 10 times in a row by his name and he doesn't even blink and keeps doing what he is doing, but if I say "maminha" (it means "boobie" in Portuguese") he immediately stops what he's doing and comes running to me, to breastfeed. I know he knows what the ball is, but he rarely goes to get it if I ask it. But he loves to put his arms up and say "world" (mundo in Portuguese) and everytime I tell him "do the world" he puts his arms up and says "undddd" (it's almost "mundooooo" - worldddddd). i took him to a development doctor and she said he was fine, but I can't stop thinking about this. Maybe because this things are seen differently depending on the country. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be considered fine if we were living in the USA. Is it possible that he just doesn't like to do what I ask him? He is always very smiling and happy and he doesn't get upset.

 

[staralfur]

Please don't stress out about it! My LO was on the later end with her speech (close to 16 months when she said her first word) and I worried about it from the time she was like 10 months old. She's now nearly 4 and she never stops talking. Ever. I really regret spending so much of my time worrying about little developmental things when she was little. I've let it all go since then and just learned to enjoy her for who she is today and not who I'm worried she "should" be according to lists or what other kids her age can do. She is her own little person and she will do things in her own time! I think the same can be said for all babies, even from the minute they're born.

Babies and toddlers aren't exactly known for their listening skills so I think him ignoring you when you ask him to do things isn't all that uncommon, especially if he's wanting to focus on something else. Looking to you for your reaction to things, smiling when you smile at him, etc. is all part of the same developmental idea (joint attention) as pointing, so while he may be on the later end for when babies usually start pointing, he is demonstrating joint attention in other ways. The thing with averages is that there will always be kids who do things on the earlier end of average and the later end. And of course kids who fall outside of the averages but are still considered perfectly normal. That's really how averages work! So we can say that pointing usually happens between 9-13 months but that doesn't mean anyone who falls outside of that range has something wrong with them, just that they're outside of the average.

If you've had a doctor tell you that everything is okay then I think you need to put your faith in that and try not to dwell on it anymore.

 

[SarahBear]

Violet did very little mimicking and although she did point, we had tried baby sign which she absolutely did not pick up on until she could talk... at which point she would sign "more" at the same time that she said it. We had long given up on signing but she remembered it and used it months later. She also took a while about waving and clapping. I don't remember when she did them though. Pointing specifically isn't important; it's just an indicator of something important. Google "joint attention," and see if you can find other clues that he's engaging in joint attention. As far as mimicking goes, he might be absorbing in order to mimic later. He sounds like a busy little boy who is doing things in his own way. He's doing enough other healthy developmental things that I wouldn't worry about the mimicking and pointing.

 

[SarahBear]

Hi! How are you little ones now? Are they developing as expected? My baby still doesn't wave, point or shows anything to me. He ignores me when I call his name, but he usually looks when other people call him. He ignores almost everything I tell him. But I know he gets some. Because I can call him 10 times in a row by his name and he doesn't even blink and keeps doing what he is doing, but if I say "maminha" (it means "boobie" in Portuguese") he immediately stops what he's doing and comes running to me, to breastfeed. I know he knows what the ball is, but he rarely goes to get it if I ask it. But he loves to put his arms up and say "world" (mundo in Portuguese) and everytime I tell him "do the world" he puts his arms up and says "undddd" (it's almost "mundooooo" - worldddddd). i took him to a development doctor and she said he was fine, but I can't stop thinking about this. Maybe because this things are seen differently depending on the country. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be considered fine if we were living in the USA. Is it possible that he just doesn't like to do what I ask him? He is always very smiling and happy and he doesn't get upset.

He may not be waving, pointing, or showing, but he's engaging in back and forth communication, he's using words and responding to them, and following simple commands. I'm in the US and although I'm no baby expert, it seems to me that it's too early to worry about anything and he's just showing his development in a different way than mimicking, pointing, waving, and getting things you ask for. Remember those items aren't what's important. The development that they indicate is what's important.

 

[Mafi419]

Thank you ladies.

Sarah, that's a very good point. He doesn't look where I point and he doesn't follow my gaze. But the doctor didn't think much of it because he has strabismus (crossed eyes) and she thinks this might make those things more difficult for him. The eye doctor agrees. Regarding joint attention, I think it could be better (even if I put aside the things related to vision)...he doesn't give me things...he did 3 or 4 times bring something close to me and dropped it on my knees. He looks at me from time to time, like if he is playing he plays and plays and from time to time (let's say..every 3 or 4 minutes) he looks at me and if I smile he smiles back. If I pick to objects and bang them together, he tries to grab those objects and if I let him he takes it from me and bangs it together like I was doing. He likes peekaboo, but I'm the one always hiding, he doesn't mimic that...he laughs a lot though...and when the doctor played peekaboo, she hid behind a paper and he tried to remove the paper from her face to "find her". He imitates a few things: he copies when we laugh, particularly if we laugh funny or very loud he copies tones much more than words...for example, if I say "tha cats says meow" he doesn't care, but if I use a very sharp sound to say "meow", he finds it funny and tries to use a similar tone (but he doesn't say meow, just something similar). What do you think?

Staralfur, thank you for sharing your experience. That was very helpful. I really just want to stop thinking about this, but I can't. And everyone seems to think I'm nuts. Because he is very social and out going, he really is. Today we took him on a tour to a nursery (in case we need to put him in a nursery sooner) and he smiled and played with the nursery teacher and he even hid his face in my chest, smiling, when she played with him. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe he is just a little slow, there's nothing wrong with that! Maybe he's not a textbook toddler!