Almost 14 weeks and STILL terrified of miscarriage

[HannahMae]

I'm now 13+4 and STILL can't stop worrying about having a miscarriage 😔

This is my second pregnancy but will hopefully be my first baby. Back in April I suffered a missed miscarriage. I was supposed to be 12 weeks, but a scan revealed baby had died at 6 weeks.

I'm now 13 weeks with my rainbow and even though everything seems fine, I still can't stop worrying. I had my dating scan on Thursday and baby was perfect, measuring three days ahead, wiggling around and their little heart beating away. Sonographer even showed me their spine, brain, and little hands and feet ❤

But I'm still terrified something may go wrong between now and my next scan in October! I guess having a previous loss takes the joy out of subsequent pregnancies 😔 I've told people I'm pregnant now and have even started getting a little bump which has made it feel more real.

Can anyone else relate? I've attached a picture of my squidge cuz it's adorable

 

[flou]

When I was pg with DS I think I worried about it constantly and its perfectly natural to do so. I had 2 losses before being pregnant with DS. I felt a bit better after I had my anomaly scan at 20 weeks. Just try and take each day as it comes and if its too much talk to your midwife about your worries. I had another loss since DS and now im 5 weeks pregnant with hopefully my second rainbow. At the moment im petrified but I keep telling myself, today im pregnant and im going to celebrate that. Good luck!

 

[annio84]

It's completely normal to feel that way. The day after my rainbow was born hubby went shopping to buy a cot/mattress/blankets/sheets. I didn't believe until he was in my arms that I would get to bring him home. The best advice I can give you is just to be honest about how you feel with your partner, friends or maybe even your midwife. Be prepared that they'll probably say something unhelpful like 'it'll be ok this time' but trying to pretend you're ok just makes it worse in my experience.

Things that helped me a bit were going for a private scan at 16 weeks - it broke up the 8 weeks between NHS scans - and also when I could feel movement, which luckily was early for me.

Finally I just found this website the other week through some ladies I follow on instagram https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.com/ and I wish I had found it sooner.

 

[vs011]

It's ok to feel that way. When I had my first, I did NOT relax until I was 37 weeks. I had bits of sunshine in between after each successful appt but until I saw my baby's face who was screaming and crying from out of my body, I couldn't relax. I was also afraid of stillbirth. I would not give myself the pleasure of being happy until it was completely over. This seemed to serve me well as I started breastfeeding and that is a grueling schedule. There is nothing fun about it. But the satisfaction of feeding your baby makes up for it.

Pregnancy is a wonderful time but it's an anxiety ridden time. I would take it day by day and treat yourself to something nice after each successful appt.