Am I a jerk?

[Locksley27]

Seriously don't know if I'm being a jerk and insensitive so am hoping for honest input. My best friend of 28 years had miscarriage in December at seven weeks. Before she got pregnant she new my husband and I were planning to try to conceive in Jan sadly we ended up having a chemical. Well we managed to conceived again in Feb. Ever since she knew we were planning to try she has basically found fault with everything I do in my life, from parenting to taking care of my dogs. It has driven a major wedge between us. I finally asked her why is she being so judgemental and basically said I dont know how to parent. Well I stopped talking to her until today when she asked how I was. I said a little sick but ok just doing school work with the kids. She went off saying I'm not allowed to talk about my kids or being pregnant because its too triggering due to her miscarriage. So I told her then I dont know what she wants to do since my life revolves around it. (We already have 8 children) Am I being a jerk? Even when I try to talk about other things she basically tells me I'm in the wrong and gets mad at me. I don't know what to do.

 

[Suggerhoney]

Congratulations on ure pregnancy. Is this baby number 9?
If so that's amazing I love big families
Me and my dh have 4 and we will be trying for our 5th either next month or May. I'm 42 and only had our 4th baby in September but being as I'm now 42 we were told to start trying ASAP.
Be crazy because if I do fall it will be baby 7 for me because I have 2 grown up children from My previous relationship.

I've also had miscarriages. One at 10+4 weeks and 6 chemicals. 4 of which were in 2020.
That was very hard and it took us 11 cycles to finally fall with our rainbow

I can see where ure friend is coming form but feel she's being a bit unfair.
Like not letting u talk about Urr other kids. I can understand the pregnancy because she's gonna be really sad still because of the miscarriage.
So right now she's probably feeling that it's unfair.
But its not ure fault.
I hope she falls pregnant again soon. Then hopefully things won't be as awkward between u both.
Me and my bestie of 21 years have really really distanced ourselves. Or in reality it's her that's distanced herself from me.
She's still wanting to go out partying etc but I'm just not into all that anymore.i mean we're both 42 but she still just wants that party lifestyle.
Where as I like being at home with my husband and kids.
She doesn't know about us trying again soon. If I do fall pregnant and we are blessed with our 5th baby I'm gonna so scared to tell her.

Out of curiosity does ure friend have any children?
If she's saying she don't want u too speak about ure children I kind of got the vibe she doesn't have any?

 

[Locksley27]

No, she doesn't have any and up until getting married last year never wanted any. She wasn't trying to get pregnant at all. I'm pretty much just letting her go about her business since no matter what I say she just gets mad at me. We live completely different lifestyles me being a homeschooling mom and her a workaholic.

 

[cinnamum]

Sounds like she just doesn’t fit into the criteria for a bestie that you need. I am pregnant with my 8th, and I’ve had to cut off a few so called friends because they just can’t be happy for us. Just the way it is xxx

 

[Classic Girl]

NTA