Am I alone????

[MissingBubs]

Is anyone out there? Im 25, I've just lost my first baby, My baby Bubba. I feel so alone. I feel guilty, I feel angry, I feel ignored and then to top it all off I feel stupid for feeling like this!!!
I found out I was pregnant on 10/2/2009 after 2 months of trying. On the 12/2/2009 I had left sided pain and a small bleed. I went to the EPAU the next day. An internal scan showed a thickening of my lining but no evidence of a baby indicating a missed pregnancy, a very early pregnancy, or an ectopic. I had a blood test and a repeat blood test 48 hours later. 48 hours after that I had to call the EPAU for the results which showed a fall in my HcG levels. The nurse simply said over the phone "you've had a miscarriage". When I cried she said "well, you were expecting that weren't you?".
By the 16/2/2009 I'd started to physically lose my Bubs. I feel lke I have had little professional support. Don't get me wrong, my fella and family have been amazing, but every medical professional I have encountered have had the attitude that I'm young, I got pregnant quickly, I was only 6 weeks and I can try again. I just want to scream and swear. If one more person throws another statistic about 1 in 3 pregnancies ending in miscarriage and 12 week safety zones I may just throw myself off a cliff!!!
I feel like people may read this and think, what is she moaning at, because I know that some people try for a long time and can't get pregnant. In that respect, I know I'm lucky. But our baby died. I never heard a heartbeat or saw a shape. Within 2 weeks I found out I was pregnant, worried it was ectopic and lost my baby. Why does nobody want to accept that? I feel guilty for moaning.
Please tell me I'm not alone. I just want to hear from somebody who understands...

 

[jen1604]

Your definitely not alone.A lot of the girls on here feel like that too.
I think with regards to health proffesionals,because they see so many miscarriages (as unfortunately it is SUCH a common thing) they tend to forget theyre dealing with someones baby.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[jen1604]

I forgot to say how sorry I am to hear of your loss,I thought it but just forgot to type it

 

[DiddyDons]

Sorry for your loss! You certainly arent alone!

 

[rachjim98]

oh sweetie, your not alone in this and you have every right to feel the way you do. As Jen said above they deal with this so often they don't think about your feelings or your loss. Jerks!! I think a lot of health professionals need classes to show them how to relate. Because if you have ever been through a loss of a child at any stage of its life or development you would know a little sympathy and compassion goes along way.

So sorry for you loss

 

[Frippledip]

Oh sweetie, you are not alone...I had a very similar experience and just found out today I will miscarry. I don't want to hijack your thread, I am posting a thread too, just know for sure that you are not alone. The ladies on this board are wonderful and although this is not an area of the forum we want to be on, there is comfort here. So sorry for your loss, try not to compare your loss to others because everyone is different. Also don't feel guilty- everyone deserves to grieve over something like this.

 

[MissingBubs]

Thank you everyone. And Frippledip, Im so sorry. Hang in there. Not much else I can say. Nothing makes it easier. XX

 

[Sambatiki]

Im so sorry for your loss

You are definatley not alone MC is a cruel thing to happen to anyone, but unless its happened to you I dont think many understand. Im so sorry you got treated so insensitively by the medical professionals.

Thinking of you and OH

 

[plumplump]

hey, just thought I would reply to you, the exact same thing happend to me at the start of last month and the professional support I got was also poor, I have no idea what happened or what to think - I keep thinking to myself there was no baby!! Nobody will answer my questions I kindof feel confused too.
I know this isn't really an answer to your question but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! xx

 

[MissingBubs]

hey, just thought I would reply to you, the exact same thing happend to me at the start of last month and the professional support I got was also poor, I have no idea what happened or what to think - I keep thinking to myself there was no baby!! Nobody will answer my questions I kindof feel confused too.
I know this isn't really an answer to your question but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! xx

Thank you for your reply. I did the whole no baby thing, but that made me feel even more crazy, like I couldn't trust my own body. The best way I can cope at the mo is to say I was pregnant. Me and my partner did create a life. I just drives me mad that I will never know what went wrong or why. Its like as though they want you to go through multiple mc's before they care enough to help.

 

[LeaArr]

I am so sorry for your loss. It's so unfair. You certainly aren't alone! Take care of yourself.

 

[wantababybump]

You are definitely not alone! We are all here for you to support each other and to give loads of hugs if you need them.
I am turning 22 and I have had 2 miscarriages since December '07. Latest being June '08. Its very hard and doesnt get any easier. We weren't trying but weren't preventing for the first one and were trying for the second. I was 14 wks with my second one when I was told my baby girl didnt have a heartbeat. Im sending you massive hugs, Im always here if you need to chat. xx

 

[honeybunch2k7]

Medical professionals (and for some I'd have to use the term loosely) can be really insensitive. I'm sorry for you treatment, and I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Rebaby]

I'm so sorry for your loss

I recently suffered an early miscarriage and no you're not alone in feeling this way. I really grieved for our loss, and at first i almost felt that because we had fallen pregnant so quickly, and miscarried so early my feelings and strength of emotion wasn't 'valid' and i shouldn't feel the way i did.

Bu then i realised that to be able to cope with the loss and move on i needed to grieve properly and go with whatever i was feeling. I was a complete emotional mess, really all over the place. Some hours i would cry and cry then i would start to feel positive then i would get angry...It is now 2 weeks since i started to mc and i am doing much better.

You will get there eventually, you just need to allow yourself to feel these things

I'm really sorry for what you're going through.