Am I being a lazy mom?

[XJessicaX]

I tend to turn the TV off if I am sitting with friends or playing with LO. I use TV as a background entertainment whilst she plays if I am not there though. She plays for a bit, watches a bit, gets bored and crawls off and chews the carpet and then may watch a bit more.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

Not for a single second do I believe that autism is caused by TV. Autism has clear implications as being genetic.. and so does ADHD by the way. Not to say that there aren't environmental factors that might help a genetic issue to manifest...but there has to be a predisposition in that child's genetics for it to manifest.

If anything, I would imagine TV would cause a child to hyperfocus...not have a short attention span.

I think that background noise from a TV is okay. I think limited TV watching is okay. I think sitting your baby or any child for that matter in front of a TV as a form of babysitting for long periods of times (hours and hours) is probably not very good for any child. But neither is them being on these damn computers, cell phones, and video consoles either.

I totally agree regarding autism. I just added that one in there as it's just an alternative view point. Although, if people are worried about autism and the MMR vaccine, even though there's no proven link between the 2, people may want to reconsider allowing TV viewing too. If we're talking risk factors, surely if you were worried, you'd want to eliminate as many a possible?

I disagree about it being ok to have a TV on in the background. The research backs this up as well - sitting and watching a show in detail together and discussing it is better than having it on all the time. The constant noise encourages less conversations, as well as having potentially detrimental impacts on attention span.

Well, we'll have to agree to disagree on that one aspect but I agree on the Autism thing. If you are THAT worried to not vaccinate your child then I would eliminate other possible "triggers" as well.

I think the problem is bigger then watching TV. I think we are tuned out to human interaction. Too much technology. That's why the generations beneath us have such poor interpersonal skills. They are on some sort of electronic device all the time. I have more concerns with that.

 

[patch2006uk]

Not for a single second do I believe that autism is caused by TV. Autism has clear implications as being genetic.. and so does ADHD by the way. Not to say that there aren't environmental factors that might help a genetic issue to manifest...but there has to be a predisposition in that child's genetics for it to manifest.

If anything, I would imagine TV would cause a child to hyperfocus...not have a short attention span.

I think that background noise from a TV is okay. I think limited TV watching is okay. I think sitting your baby or any child for that matter in front of a TV as a form of babysitting for long periods of times (hours and hours) is probably not very good for any child. But neither is them being on these damn computers, cell phones, and video consoles either.

I totally agree regarding autism. I just added that one in there as it's just an alternative view point. Although, if people are worried about autism and the MMR vaccine, even though there's no proven link between the 2, people may want to reconsider allowing TV viewing too. If we're talking risk factors, surely if you were worried, you'd want to eliminate as many a possible?

I disagree about it being ok to have a TV on in the background. The research backs this up as well - sitting and watching a show in detail together and discussing it is better than having it on all the time. The constant noise encourages less conversations, as well as having potentially detrimental impacts on attention span.

Well, we'll have to agree to disagree on that one aspect but I agree on the Autism thing. If you are THAT worried to not vaccinate your child then I would eliminate other possible "triggers" as well.

I think the problem is bigger then watching TV. I think we are tuned out to human interaction. Too much technology. That's why the generations beneath us have such poor interpersonal skills. They are on some sort of electronic device all the time. I have more concerns with that.

I'm only 22, so it's my peers who are maladjusted and pale from lack of sunlight

I think TV too young might predispose you to a habit of technology for entertainment. I know we watched a lot of TV as kids, often instead of going out and playing with friends. I don't want that for my LO

 

[Inlozi]

I've never purposefully sat my LO infront of the TV, however it's always on, he may watch it for 5 mins but mainly never pays attention as we're in the 'back room' we have open rooms downstairs with no doors he can hear it but barely sees it, sometimes if I walk with him into the front room he'll watch it for a few minuets most of his time is spent interacting and playing with me. I don't consider it terrible to allow a LO to watch TV though, all down to parenting choice I wouldn't consider it lazy if it entertains for a little bit to get work done, but wouldn't encourage excessive watching of TV. Yes it has risks but tbh most things do I'm lucky enough that LO will go in his cot, watch out the window and either entertain himself or play with a simple toy [e.g. his rattle] But I find he's easily over-stimulated, toys that flash colours and make noise make him cry after not even 5 minuets, therefore he mainly needs me to 'play' lol

 

[MizzDeeDee]

Not for a single second do I believe that autism is caused by TV. Autism has clear implications as being genetic.. and so does ADHD by the way. Not to say that there aren't environmental factors that might help a genetic issue to manifest...but there has to be a predisposition in that child's genetics for it to manifest.

If anything, I would imagine TV would cause a child to hyperfocus...not have a short attention span.

I think that background noise from a TV is okay. I think limited TV watching is okay. I think sitting your baby or any child for that matter in front of a TV as a form of babysitting for long periods of times (hours and hours) is probably not very good for any child. But neither is them being on these damn computers, cell phones, and video consoles either.

I totally agree regarding autism. I just added that one in there as it's just an alternative view point. Although, if people are worried about autism and the MMR vaccine, even though there's no proven link between the 2, people may want to reconsider allowing TV viewing too. If we're talking risk factors, surely if you were worried, you'd want to eliminate as many a possible?

I disagree about it being ok to have a TV on in the background. The research backs this up as well - sitting and watching a show in detail together and discussing it is better than having it on all the time. The constant noise encourages less conversations, as well as having potentially detrimental impacts on attention span.

Well, we'll have to agree to disagree on that one aspect but I agree on the Autism thing. If you are THAT worried to not vaccinate your child then I would eliminate other possible "triggers" as well.

I think the problem is bigger then watching TV. I think we are tuned out to human interaction. Too much technology. That's why the generations beneath us have such poor interpersonal skills. They are on some sort of electronic device all the time. I have more concerns with that.

I'm only 22, so it's my peers who are maladjusted and pale from lack of sunlight

I think TV too young might predispose you to a habit of technology for entertainment. I know we watched a lot of TV as kids, often instead of going out and playing with friends. I don't want that for my LO

My mom was like you are I imagine.. she didn't keep on the TV when we were kids and I love the technology... let me tell you. However, my nephew, whom my parents raise...... is a nice boy, but he is ALWAYS on his cell phone, or playing video games, or watching TV. He is 15. My parents wouldn't have allowed it with me. I'm not talking background noise- I literally don't see him at least half the time I am over there because he is online, playing games, watching TV, or on a cell phone.

When I was 15 I wanted to go out with my friends to the Mall, or talk to guys on the phonehaha:Skank) or write letters to my friends.. we used to have personal notebooks that only "our group" would write in. I also played sports too. I played soccer(football you UK gals call it) baseball, basketball, and softball. These are the things I hope for my daughter but it seems this isn't what the other kids do now at all!

I read an article that reads that the younger generation lacked empathy because they never developed interpersonal skills. The article implied that younger people are basically sociopaths and highly narcissistic and they blamed it all because of over use of technology. I don't know if this is true or not of course, but I do agree that there is a over use of technology.

Check this out. I find this interesting:
https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44820101/ns/health-health_care/t/beware-text-neck-too-much-gadget-use/

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I remember not having a cell phone or the internet and I'm 25. Dang, I must be old

 

[MizzDeeDee]

I remember not having a cell phone or the internet and I'm 25. Dang, I must be old

Me too buddy. I remember the internet being big when I was in my 20s. Chat rooms were taboo and meeting people from online meant you were a loser.......


That has certainly changed.

 

[patch2006uk]

I remember not having a cell phone or the internet and I'm 25. Dang, I must be old

We had a SNES in about 1996 I think, when my brother was 4. I actually dont think family games consoles are a problem. My SIL hasn't allowed any of hers to have DSs, consoles, phones or the like. Her eldest is 8, and she still expects him to be kept entertained by colouring in on the 7 hour journey when they visit. I think there's a happy medium to be found, inbetween total saturation and completely forbidden. After all, the technology isn't going to go away any time soon (unless the 2012 predictions turn out to be truer than I imagine!) so learning how to live sensibly with it seems necessary.

I remember not having the Internet, but I've had it at home since I was about 10. I wasn't allowed a mobile until I turned 11 (I got my ears pierced and a new phone. Felt super grown up on that particular birthday!!)

 

[XJessicaX]

I remember not having a cell phone or the internet and I'm 25. Dang, I must be old

Lol! me too. I remember calling friends HOUSE numbers desperately hoping they were in and then asking friends mothers if they knew where they were so I could arrange to meet them. hahahaha

 

[jessie_m]

Thanks for all of the input girls! Nothing else seems to entertain her for a long time yet. OH started a full time position at work and goes to school full time now after taking a semester off, and I go to school full time. It just seems like unless I let her play and watch tv like that then EVERYTHING has to be done after 730 when she goes to sleep and we go to sleep at 9 so that doesn't give us any time for ourselves or each other. OH says that while tv isn't the best form of entertainment, it's more important in the long run that we are able to finish school and have me and us time and time to relax so we're not stressed out and cranky. I agree. She watches it for the 10-15 minutes that I make and eat my oatmeal in the morning, then there's a long 30-45 min session she'll watch and play with toys while I clean, do homework, etc. and then she won't do it but for 10-15 min at a time in the evenings. I'm not scared about 'ruining' her. I just feel intimidated by some of the super moms on here who manage to do it all and still constantly entertain their babies.

Oh, and LO hates being worn, otherwise i would do that more often.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

I'm lucky because LO will quite happily sit and play by herself for a good 45minutes at a time so I don't need TV. I just have to speak to her now and again and she's quite happy. I haven't let her watch t.v but she does look at it if it's on when we're at the in-laws. I'm a school teacher and I notice that kids generally have little patience for things like board games now. I think it's because they are so used to fast-moving video-games and t.v. Something like good old snakes and ladders just doesn't cut it anymore. Saying that, I think everything in moderation is ok. We can't expect our LOs to avoid all technology but I think limiting it is a good idea.

 

[patch2006uk]

Thanks for all of the input girls! Nothing else seems to entertain her for a long time yet. OH started a full time position at work and goes to school full time now after taking a semester off, and I go to school full time. It just seems like unless I let her play and watch tv like that then EVERYTHING has to be done after 730 when she goes to sleep and we go to sleep at 9 so that doesn't give us any time for ourselves or each other. OH says that while tv isn't the best form of entertainment, it's more important in the long run that we are able to finish school and have me and us time and time to relax so we're not stressed out and cranky. I agree. She watches it for the 10-15 minutes that I make and eat my oatmeal in the morning, then there's a long 30-45 min session she'll watch and play with toys while I clean, do homework, etc. and then she won't do it but for 10-15 min at a time in the evenings. I'm not scared about 'ruining' her. I just feel intimidated by some of the super moms on here who manage to do it all and still constantly entertain their babies.

Oh, and LO hates being worn, otherwise i would do that more often.

I hope it's not me who's intimidated you! I'm lucky to have a super-fab OH who does the laundry before he goes to work, leaving me a bit freer to concentrate on me and LO during the day we also go for a lot of walks! And BLW means I can tidy the kitchen while LO finishes his lunch. Also now LO walks, he doesn't want to sit with me so much. The house is pretty much baby proofed, so he can entertain himself while I sort lunch or something.

Everyone says it gets harder as they get mobile, but I've found every month so far slightly easier and more rewarding than the last hats off to you studying-I chickened out if doing any more of my degree last year (I study at home with the OU) cos I just couldn't face it.

It's a shame your LO hates being worn. I genuinely can't imagine parenting without slings now. I wouldn't manage half the things I do!

 

[mummySS]

To the OP - I could have written your post! Except i'm not even studying lol! Honestly, i think it depends a lot on the baby. My LO loves the tv. I only let him watch BabyTV and programmes that are specifically for young kids, as I worry about the fast moving images. BabyTV is very slow, and he absolutely adores it. He doesn't like being carried (and is too heavy!), but if i am in the room he wants to play with me and gets upset if I don't give him attention. So when I need to get anything done or just have a few minutes to myself, I put him in his chair by the telly. It calms him down and he gets really excited at certain things, like balloons and monkeys. I see it as nice stimulation for him. I always make sure he is not too close to the TV - about 8 feet away. THe longest i tend to leave him there for is 30-40 mins. I remember once when he'd been up all night and I was exhausted, i'd popped him in front of the tv, and I woke up 2 hours later and he was completely wired!! Oops. I certainly won't be doing that again. What i'm trying to say is, a bit of TV here and there, especially if it's kids' programmes, will not harm them at all.

 

[HungryHippo]

Thanks for all of the input girls! Nothing else seems to entertain her for a long time yet. OH started a full time position at work and goes to school full time now after taking a semester off, and I go to school full time. It just seems like unless I let her play and watch tv like that then EVERYTHING has to be done after 730 when she goes to sleep and we go to sleep at 9 so that doesn't give us any time for ourselves or each other. OH says that while tv isn't the best form of entertainment, it's more important in the long run that we are able to finish school and have me and us time and time to relax so we're not stressed out and cranky. I agree. She watches it for the 10-15 minutes that I make and eat my oatmeal in the morning, then there's a long 30-45 min session she'll watch and play with toys while I clean, do homework, etc. and then she won't do it but for 10-15 min at a time in the evenings. I'm not scared about 'ruining' her. I just feel intimidated by some of the super moms on here who manage to do it all and still constantly entertain their babies.

Oh, and LO hates being worn, otherwise i would do that more often.

It's easy to come across as a super mom on an Internet forum.

In terms of tv watching in my household, there was no way around it. DH always has a tv on and especially when he was home the 1st few weeks after LO was born she saw plenty TV. I do stand firm on no TV during the bedtime routine. But I also let LO watch a Baby Enstein DVD several times a week - it's 30min long. I'm a SAHM and not a tv-watcher so it's never on during the day.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I have the TV on while E is drinking his first bottle, then it goes off for the day, unless I put a video game on because the housework is done and E is ratty and won't be played with because it's too late in the day and I just annoy him

 

[MizzDeeDee]

I wonder if when there was no TV and everyone listened to the radio if there were people saying that radio was harmful to babies too? I bet there was.

There always seems to be someone telling me what I'm doing wrong. I've been told I was wrong for breast feeding and then I was wrong for formula feeding. I am wrong for co-sleeping and wrong for not letting my daughter CIO. I am wrong for thinking her bond with me was the most important thing- I should let her spend the night away from me with as many people as possible. I've been told I am wrong for staying home with her too.. I should get a job.

I guess that I'll just have to stick by my own principles and do whatever I feel is right for me and my family. I suggest you all do the same.

 

[xBabyGoose]

Letting your Lo watch the tele as a baby is actually a great way to stimulate their visual development! (The brighter and more colourful programmes the better).

I put babytv on when changing her, then lie her on her back and let her watch whilst she has a kick, or put her in her bouncer and let her watch.

Your not a lazy mom at all, sometimes baby needs independant time to do different things other than play with others its when they start understanding what's going on on the tele that we need to withdraw them from it!

 

[Lilly12]

I don't let my DD watch tv .. Sometimes it's on and she will stare at it and become very passive , I don't like that.
Of course she will sometimes look at it for a minute but not cause I sit her in front of it..
When I have to do stuff I either wear her, or take her with me and set her on the ground with toys near me..

Doesn't mean someone's a super mom or intimidating cause they don't let their children watch tv though....

 

[stepmum]

Letting your Lo watch the tele as a baby is actually a great way to stimulate their visual development! (The brighter and more colourful programmes the better).

I was just about to say this

I think pre-school TV has actually come a long way since I'm assuming I was a baby and I'm perfectly fine, a lot of these shows are quite educational and they teach them about numbers, colours, shapes, words etc..I actually learned from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that the hibiscus flower only blooms for one single day , it's a silly fact but I never knew that

I don't think there is anything wrong with TV, especially when they are not so mobile and so long as they have plenty of other forms of interaction and stimulation throughout the day.

 

[Lilly12]

It's actually that the parents talk less to their children when the TV is on.
And there is no educational value to letting a kid under 2 watch tv.. They don't learn from the tv..

Do infant/toddler programs have any educational value for kids under the age of two?

Nope. There is a digital developmental divide. Video gets “lost in translation” for children under one and a half to two and a half-years-old. They can’t figure out the content or context to actually learn from televised programs. While a few 18-month-olds might “get it,” the majority of kids don’t have that skill until they are at least two-years-old. Entertaining? Yes. Educational? No. Young children learn best from real people and playing with real objects. Kids over age two can learn language and social skills from high-quality shows.

https://m.educationnation.com/index.cfm?objectid=E83CCC2E-FE67-11E0-B06B000C296BA163