Am I being an emotional wreck?!?!

[housewifey]

Okay so I am more emotional these days since getting my bfp nearly 2 weeks ago now. I am obv feeling terrified after losing Harvey at 11+1 in December.

E.g. I woke up crying to OH last night because I couldnt get back to sleep after going to the toilet and I couldnt get comfy. Pathetic yeah?! Haha

Anywaay... my problem is I work with one of my best friends and she has strong opinions on young mothers (always had) but I just feel like she should be a bit more considerate with the things she says to me. The other day she was going on about this girl (who had her gorgeous baby girl in april, she is 17) and she was going on about how it was such a shame that she had to leave this bbq early to go home and see her baby. She was saying how her life was ruined and she felt sorry for her. I just felt like screaming in her face that i would happily miss every social event for the rest of my life to just have Harvey back with me

Am i just being an over emotional wreck?!? I dont want people to walk on egg shells around me but she basically sees me losing Harvey was my lucky escape!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Carmello_01]

That woman sounds incredibly naive, and lucky to not understand the pain of loss and the extreme rollercoaster that pregnancy after loss can be by the sounds of it.
What defines over-sensitive at a time like this? I can't answer that, but you have every right to feel the way you feel.

Moments like this had me reeling so often during the first tri, and so many comments assuming we are disappointed over this bubs gender in the second tri made me feel angry and hurt (cos apparently because I've already been blessed with a son another son is a tragedy. Pff.Idiots. What would it matter besides having a healthy little one???)
And now I'm in the home stretch the 'soo, are you sick of it yet, are you getting induced bang on 40 weeks or earlier?' ridiculous questions - I'm so grateful bubs is in here and growing strong why do I want to rush it? (yes, I'm tired, bloated,nauseous yet hungry, varicose veins on my legs like ropes and plain uncomfortable but it's worth every single blessed second.)

So I guess what I'm saying is that throughout this journey you may encounter insensitivity and plain stupidity rather a-lot...the ladies in Preggy after Loss are always here to be a sounding board for you.

 

[mrsjo]

So many people out there say the most horrid things and I have to remind myself that everyone's life experiences are different. Most of the time people don't realise they have said something that might be insensitive and upsetting to those around them. Especially in regards to pregnancy and miscarriage. I try really hard to remind myself that these people are completely unaware of my experiences and wouldn't say those things if they knew they would hurt me. I know I am guilty of the occasional slip of the tongue.

Besides in the first tri we are very emotional. I just blow off the extra steam at home and poor OH has to listen to my rants.

 

[Mizze]

She is being naive and more than a bit insensitive but she doesnt have the experience to realise it I suspect

I dont think you over reacted - this is a very hard time for you and she should have been sensitive enough to realise it but she probably spoke without thinking at all about the effect it might have on you

Mizze xx

 

[hb1]

she sounds like someone who always has to have an opinion - if the girl had been out till 3 in the morning and completely blotto there would have been comments about how irresponsible she was as a young mother!!

How you feel is how you feel - try and let stupid / unecessary / insenstive comments wash over you if you can - you are entitled to think whatever you think.


hx

 

[housewifey]

Thanks for all of your replies, dont feel like such an emotional wreck now! Yes this girl always has to have an opinion! I will just have to put a brave face on at work and not get myself upset but I know that she will have something to say when I tell her about this pregnancy! Oh dear!

hb1- i totally agree, i thought that she was extremely sensible going home to her baby girl rather than staying out and getting drunk etc!

OH says I should say something to her? Do you think I should bring it up or just leave it?? I dont want to fall out with her at all, know her since 1st day of primary school!

Thanks again girls xxxxxxx

 

[hb1]

if that's just "what she is like" then you do either have to let it go or call her out on it - tricky - you have to weigh up whether it's worth it or not - this situation personally I would leave it for the sake of peace - you don't need the stress of a battle - especially at work - also it might have been better to say it at the time than drag it up later. Some battles are worth fighting - others not

These sorts of things can fester tho so if you feel more strongly about what she said and it is going to bug you then go for it - bear in mind - is she the type to take criticism and not hold a grudge?

Don't think I have helped - just added questions!!

hx

 

[housewifey]

I think just for the sake of peace i'm going to leave, i have already lost one friend due to the way she acted/ things she said while i was suffering my mc, i dont want to lose another She wouldnt take criticism well, she would deffinitely hold a grudge! I know her to well haha.

Thanks for your help girls. Anyway how are you all getting on??? xxxx