Am I being too sensible?

[lauren28]

HI

I am writing for a little bit of advice. Am I being too sensible?

I am 22 and my husband is 29. He is desperate for a baby but I feel we should wait a little while - although I do feel incredibley broody! Although we have good jobs and average income, I feel we could be in a better position. We live in a 1 bedroom rented flat and are just about comfortable with money and it has taken us a while to get there. I have been in my job about a year and feel i need to be a bit more established before I take time off.

I don't know if I am being too cautious. Is there ever a perfect situation to be in to have a baby. Would I just be waiting forever?

Thanks x

 

[honeybunch2k7]

HI

I am writing for a little bit of advice. Am I being too sensible?

I am 22 and my husband is 29. He is desperate for a baby but I feel we should wait a little while - although I do feel incredibley broody! Although we have good jobs and average income, I feel we could be in a better position. We live in a 1 bedroom rented flat and are just about comfortable with money and it has taken us a while to get there. I have been in my job about a year and feel i need to be a bit more established before I take time off.

I don't know if I am being too cautious. Is there ever a perfect situation to be in to have a baby. Would I just be waiting forever?

Thanks x

I think some would think there is not.

It's understandable that you want to wait a little longer.

I like to fantasize about my SO being baby crazy lol.

 

[saara24]

You sound like me two years ago

If you want my honest opinion, I would tend to agree with you. Apparently there's never a perfect situation, but I believe some situations are better than others - our situation two years ago, when I was 22 as well, we were in a 3-bed rented flat (sounds like a lot but we run a business from home so need an office and a store room as well as normal living space) and just about ok with money, and things were starting to level out a bit. I suddenly started thinking about babies but spoke to lots of people, some of whom said just go for it, while others recommended we wait for a bit til we're in a better situation. At the time, I couldn't see the situation improving much and was adamant that I didn't really want to wait for something that might never happen.

Fast forward two years, and the situation, while probably still not ideal, is a far cry from what it was - we now own our own home (well, we own 15% and the bank owns the rest LOL!) and have much much more space than in the flat, the business is really taking off so we've actually downsized it to concentrate on the bits that are making the most money (down from two shops to just one, and two online outlets to just our own website) - thus nearly halving our workload.

While I'm sure we would have managed a baby two years ago, I doubt we would have achieved what we have.

I'm 23 (24 next month) now and we've agreed to start TTC in October or November (see my post for how I feel about it now LOL!!!)

I'm pretty scared, but positive that we're in a much better place now so I'm sure it will be fine and I'm just scared of the unknown. I'm glad we've waited

 

[Reedy]

I think you are being sensible but its never a right time I dont think but the decision lies with you no one else.

I wish hubby was desperate for a baby instead of making me wait

 

[Chris77]

Lauren, you have to wait until you feel YOU are ready. However, having said that, we have found that there really is no "perfect" time to have a baby. All you can do is be as prepared as humanly possible for the journey.

Good Luck with whatever you decide.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

I have planned things for years !!! After we got married I sold my mini and bought a 5 door golf and bought a three bed house as once a baby comes there in no chance in being able to afford it. I would be the same as you - save up a bit of money and move first.

 

[LeaArr]

welcome. I'm just going to leave it at that cause the other girls have said everything I would.

Good Luck!!

 

[jesterjigger]

I think it's a little bit of both. Can you afford to move to a larger living space and just haven't yet? I would probably hold off until you can afford to move at the very least!

Has your husband taken into account child care if you continue to work? I think that you have the right idea with waiting a bit, but I know how frustrating it can be to be the half of the couple that wants a baby when the other thinks it's best to wait! I know logic helped me stave off my baby longing. Of course, it helped that I was baby crazy for a few days a month and then the feeling faded as I moved along in my cycle. It might help if you come up with more specific examples of why you want to wait rather than a general when "we're more settled". But to sum it up, no, I don't think you're being too sensible, you sound just sensible enough, though I don't think the timing will ever be the *perfect* time to have a baby!