Am I being unreasonable?

[bumblebeexo]

This will probably be a bit long so I apologise in advance!

Me and my OH live in the same area as his family. It's about 30minutes drive away from my family. His siblings are over the whole time and it drives me nuts. However.. A mutual friend of me and OH's sister has informed me that she told them seeing as she has finished college now and is going to be job hunting, she's not going to start looking until the start of September so she can have a month at least with me and baby. We got a kitten last month and she came over constantly to play with it, whereas she barely visited before and it makes me so so mad. Apparently she's going to come over every day and take the baby out for walks and do this, this and this with it.. Eh excuse me, it's MY baby?! I feel so mad I could cry! Her Mum (who is obviously OH's mum) has booked two weeks off work so she can be around with the baby. She has also been saying she'll be over every day to make up bottles, take the baby out, help with feeds etc etc.. I know it's her grandchild and yes she'll be over a lot but is there ANYTHING I'm going to be able to do with my child????? My family won't be able to see her as much as they can, and I know that if they come to visit they'll still stay here. I feel like moving back in with my parents (they've said I can) for a week or two just to actually get some time to bond with my baby but this is my house and I shouldn't have to move out for anybody. OH feels the same and he says he'll tell them to back off if they are over constantly but I know he won't, he neeever says anything to his Mum which is ridiculous because he's nearly 21 and she still bosses him. Urgh, the way they have been talking about it is they'll be over through the day, take my baby out and do everything. I know I shouldn't complain about people being willing to help but seriously, this is a bit much is it not?? I'd never say anything to them as his Mum will be babysitting a couple of mornings a week when I go back to work and if I was to complain she'd take it badly and go in a huge huff. Yes she is like that. What would you do?? I was thinking to kinda drop hints here and there that I'm looking forward to alone time with OH and baby and that constant visitors would annoy me, but am I being unreasonable?

Thanks and well done if you've managed to read this far!

 

[fl00b]

it's horrible isn't it? my MIL's the same! you can't really blame them for being excited but at the same time you're like ...HELLO it's MY baby!
i'd just tell her you want no visitors and if she doesn't respect that then let her go off in a huff, you only get the first few days with your baby once! you could always make a little white lie up and say your BF instead if you don't want to upset her? (if you're BF then all the more better for the truth!)
that way you can say you want privacy with just you + LO and she can't take her out for walks? that's my excuse with MIL anyway you have every right to be annoyed though

 

[BabyWright]

Not being unreasonable atal, you have every right to say that you don't want them there everyday, if you say to them it's nothing against them, but you want time to bond with your child when Shes born so they are welcome to meet her but not be there everyday. Are you planning on breast feeding? If you are, they won't be able to take her out anyway because you'll have to feed her! And if your not up to going out then baby stays with you.
Hope it all gets sorted xx

 

[AP]

I would just say you are having some bonding time with the baby, just you and OH, and you wont be having visitors until xxx days/weeks

She may go in a huff but she'll be so over it when she gets to see the baby.

Helping , should mean doing the washing up, cooking etc. Not bottles, playing/feeding with baby, holding baby etc. Thats your time to bond and learn how things need to be done.

 

[JadeBaby75]

Honestly, I had a lot of family like that. I actually appreciated the help because I really couldn't manage myself. Before I had her I was adamant that I could do it all alone, but once she got her and I could barely walk, I was glad there were people willing to help me change diapers, cook meals for me, and hold her when I needed to sleep. You might find that the helps is welcome, then again you might not.

If you really don't want them around then just be direct and set boundaries. Tell them you don't want them to visit so there are no misunderstandings. Right now they are probably just excited about the baby and want to be around them as much as possible and it would be better to just flat out tell them what you are comfortable with versus them thinking everything is just peachy.

Hopes that helps

 

[LittlePeople]

Close the curtains and lock the doors! Take time to bond as a family...there's nothing more important!

Just noticed your little girls name...fantastic choice - best name in the world! I am of course bias Never seen anyone spell Teagan the same way we spell DD's