am i being unreasonable...

[wishuwerehere]

...saying that my 3 year old, who has been away from me for 4 nights maybe 4 times, can't go to her dad's for 6 nights? He keeps trying to push up the length of visits and i feel i'm being more than generous letting him have the 4 night visits...

 

[Seren0613]

A 3 year old is at the age where a court would possibly consider overnights. However, not for that extended of a time. A few nights per week at most.

 

[Seren0613]

You don't want to seem like you're abandoning her or that he has her more (and thus is the primary caregiver). He's coaxing you gradually to seem like this. You need a court ordered visitation schedule in place.

 

[wishuwerehere]

That what i thought, he keeps pushing more and more. She doesn't go every week, he lives 3 hours away so the longer visits are to make sure she isn't travelling too much. But she only goes every 3 weeksish amd not always for 4 night, more often for 2. I'm starting to think we meed a formal agreement.

 

[Seren0613]

Sounds like it due to distance. I'd bet on them giving him every other weekend at this point.

 

[Mummy1995]

To be honest I think you're being more generous already hun. Definitely wouldn't allow 6 nights, that's crazy! X

 

[blamesydney]

nonononon, I would never! Scarlet goes to her dads for three nights every week. That leaves me with four, being the primary guardian, so if for some reason he tried to fight me for full custody (we're very civil, it would probably never happen) he can't make it look like he is the main caregiver. Also, I mean, by the end of the third day I'm over here like "I MISS MY BABY " so, definitely not six. And this is with her staying over there every week. If she saw her daddy as sparingly as your LO does, that would make it even more unlikely. Maybe if I had to go out of town for something she couldn't really tag along for, but only if it was completely necessary.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

It seems like a huge amount of time for a 3 year old to be away from her mum. I can understand extended visits being for her benefit but being without you for almost a week wouldn't benefit her.
I doesn't really make sense to start having longer visits with regards to nursery/school too. What would happen there?

 

[PinkLady17]

I don't think you're being unreasonable.... in my country the court allows the father (unless he's proven to be an unfit parent of course) alternate weekends... so that's actually 4 nights a month.