Am I being unreasonable?

[Dobsd]

A few weeks ago, my partner and I made an agreement that when I was 4 weeks from due date, he would not drink more than 2 drinks when out. He enjoys quite regular 'sociable' drinks and the last 8 months I've been going out and picking him up when he's drunk.
Last weekend, he went for a 'couple' after work and when he got home he told me he had had 3 pints. That is over the drink-drive limit and I certainly wouldn't get in a car with him. He apologised for breaking our agreement, I was pissed off but let it go.
Today, we went to a 2yo birthday party where he had two bottles of beer. Then he went and played golf and I just called him and he's now in the pub. I reminded him of our agreement and he said "well I only had two bottles earlier, I'mjust having a pint now".
He seems to be thinking now that if he spreads it out throughout the day, then that's fine.
My issue is that I do not want to be in a car with him, if he needs to drive me to the hospital. The last thing I'm going to do is get in a car with him when I'm in labour with our first child.nit seems irresponsible and testing fate.
I have told him that if I go into labour and he has had more than two, he won't be the one taking me to the hospital. Am I being unreasonable? He thinks it's perfectly fine to have more than two if he spreads them out.
This is really frustrating me and causing me some anxiety

 

[Ashersmomma]

You are being perfectly reasonable. If he can't keep to your agreement then he doesn't need to drive you to the hospital. You don't need to risk yourself and baby for that. But it does sound like he might need some help. His inability to refrain from drinking sounds like he has an alcohol addiction. I think you need to sit him down and have a serious conversation about what you feel about him drinking so much with a baby on the way soon.

 

[Dobsd]

You are being perfectly reasonable. If he can't keep to your agreement then he doesn't need to drive you to the hospital. You don't need to risk yourself and baby for that. But it does sound like he might need some help. His inability to refrain from drinking sounds like he has an alcohol addiction. I think you need to sit him down and have a serious conversation about what you feel about him drinking so much with a baby on the way soon.

I've tried this already, he just tells me he only drinks sociably so it's ok. Yet he always finds an excuse to go out and socialise... It's driving me mad to be honest. He just won't listen to me any more and any time I bring it up he thinks I'm nagging.
I just need to find that one perfect thing to say to him to make him relalise that I'm deadly serious about this, just one tng that will get through to him. So frustrating!

 

[Beee]

Oh no, how frustrating! My hubby doesn't go out that much, but when he does he has a blow out. Its like he can't say no once he's out with his friends, and gets into a right state.
I'm not sure what you could say to make him realise that his behaviour at the moment isn't acceptable. Maybe tell him you've already arranged for someone else to take you into hospital because it's made you so anxious that he's not going to be able to do it? Might shame him into realising? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for people going out and enjoying themselves and maybe he thinks he just wants to make the most of that freedom before baby arrives, but it could be any time now and he needs to be prepared and capable of supporting you when the time comes.
Really difficult one
Hope you manage to sort it hun xx

 

[Gingerspice]

I don't think you're over reacting. The probLem is you're trusting his word anyway and so he could just keep saying he's only had 2 but then had more.
Tbh i'd be tempted to buy somee breathaliser and test him before getting in car. Get real serious. If not for his sake, what trouble might he cause on the road to others? They say people often don't realise the issues until they end up crashing etc and then it's too late as he $others have had to face his ignorance.

 

[Mummy to be x]

Drinking and driving is a big NO. Even if he had two pints at 12pm and then drove you to the hospital at 10pm, he could still very easily be over the limit.

Your not been unreasonable at all. Sounds like he needs to grow up and take some responsibility.

Hope things get sorted for you soon

 

[sbl]

No you are not being unreasonable at all!
My oh didn't hardly drink at all when I was pregnant with lo as I'm high risk.
He really showed me he was ready for responsibility by doing this.

It's really not a big ask.
I always say if you can't give up for 9 months or cut down in the case of dad then you've got a problem.

Talk to him, tell him how disappointed you are.

Why must us mums be the only ones to have to change during pregnancy?

 

[Carlyp1990]

My oh doesn't really drink anyway but he's had one night during this pregnancy were he's got drunk so I didn't mind. He definitely wouldn't be doing anything to compromise mine or his daughters safety! His works Christmas party is 3 weeks before my due date and he's said he's not going because he doesn't want to be drunk incase I go into labour.

I don't think it's unreasonable at all to expect him to have nothing to drink xx

 

[tillyttc]

More than reasonable Hun my hubby due home in 48 hours he works away for 12 weeks at a time and can drink what he wants but iam 12 days away and even he said it's not worth more than a pint a day as I told him I would rather have my sister with me in delivery room than a hubby that reeked of beer and he agreed ! It's not much to asked I've not had a drink since March so it's the least they can do . Xx

 

[jzgrace]

I think you are well within your right to be upset! You should tell him that he doesn't need alcohol to "socialize" and if he feels that strongly that he needs it then you should tell him he has a problem. And mention to him that when baby is born, baby will be counting on mommy AND daddy to be in a state where they can act quickly if he/she needs help. He needs to be sober so that his family can count on him to do his job in protecting them. There is a time to have fun when being a parent and that time is not when the family is counting on you for safety. I hope you can find the right words. Im sure hes not a drunk and hes trying to relieve some stress right now but hes going about it in the wrong way. Good luck I hope it gets better

 

[ispeakinsongs]

perfectly reasonable, we had a similar agreement!

 

[sethsmummy]

I wouldnt be letting my other half drink anything at all hun. If i ever found out hed drank anything and then got behind the wheel of a car id kick his ass. so no your definitely not being unreasonable xx

 

[babe2ooo]

Aww hun I can see why u would be annoyed at him. Think u might need to sit down with him and have a chat. Have u got a back up person that could drive u just in case?