Am I crazy?

[LynAnne]

This year I've had three losses. In February I had an early miscarriage at about four and a half weeks, only a few days after our first ever BFP. In April I had to have a laparoscopic salpingectomy to remove my left tube as I had an ectopic at 8 weeks. We took a month out and started trying again in May. By the beginning of July I was pregnant again and everything was going so well. I had early scans because of the previous ectopic and at 6 weeks we even saw the heartbeat. We were so optimistic and positive but when we went for a reassurance scan at the EPU at 9+5 we found out our little baby no longer had a heartbeat and was only measuring 8+3. We were devastated. I decided I wanted to miscarry naturally, if possible, and fortunately on Tuesday (at what would have been 12+2) I did. After bleeding moderately for a few days after, I'm now down to light bleeding/spotting and beginning to think about trying again.

DH and I are planning on taking the next month between the miscarriage and my next period to just have fun, not stress about trying but moving on at our own pace before hopefully trying after that. We've had no problem conceiving obviously but it seems luck is not on our side for getting out of first trimester. Am I completely crazy to be hopeful that the next one will be THE ONE? Am I crazy for potentially putting myself through all this heartbreak and disappointment yet again?

 

[LoraLoo]

I don't think you're crazy- you have hope, we all need that.
We are currently ttc again. We've lost a daughter at 5 days, a baby boy at 18 weeks pregnant and a baby girl at 15 weeks. So it's scary, but I have hope of a healthy pregnancy and baby. Good luck.

 

[laurac1988]

Always have hope hun. I'm so sorry for your losses xxx

 

[mssk]

First off I am so sorry for your losses LynAnne. No you are not crazy. We are TTC after two early losses this year and it can be hard to be positive sometimes. I hope that you get your rainbow soon

 

[lilmisscaviar]

Lynanne, I'm so sorry about your losses first of all, but I also wanted to tell you that I honestly could have written this post myself. I too am wondering the same thing. I've had three losses this past year: 10/14, 02/15, 07/15 and I'm wondering if trying again would be out of the question. When I ask my midwife, she told me to try when I was ready. How do I know when that is? Everyone else would think I'm crazy to get pregnant for the fourth time within a year but I'm not ready to be done with having children yet so I don't think you're crazy for wishing for a healthy baby after all you've been through. With my previous three pregnancies, I would be starting to make friends in the first trimester on B&B only to have to say goodbye to them by 12 weeks. They would be going on to the second trimester while I'd be going to the miscarriage support group. My last loss was in July and I've had 2 cycles since then, on my third now, and I'm just itching to try again. The only thing holding me back is that I'm worried about all the blood I lost with my previous losses (2 d&cs and 1 natural m/c) and if I'll just continue having loss after loss. However, if you feel you're ready, that's all that matters.

 

[LynAnne]

Thanks girls. I am so sorry to hear about each of your losses. It's such a horrible thing to have to experience. I feel crazy (and terrified) to start trying again but I want my rainbow baby so badly that the hope is outweighing the fear at the moment. If only I could get passed the heartbreaking sadness now that would be good.

 

[Justme43]

This year I've had three losses. In February I had an early miscarriage at about four and a half weeks, only a few days after our first ever BFP. In April I had to have a laparoscopic salpingectomy to remove my left tube as I had an ectopic at 8 weeks. We took a month out and started trying again in May. By the beginning of July I was pregnant again and everything was going so well. I had early scans because of the previous ectopic and at 6 weeks we even saw the heartbeat. We were so optimistic and positive but when we went for a reassurance scan at the EPU at 9+5 we found out our little baby no longer had a heartbeat and was only measuring 8+3. We were devastated. I decided I wanted to miscarry naturally, if possible, and fortunately on Tuesday (at what would have been 12+2) I did. After bleeding moderately for a few days after, I'm now down to light bleeding/spotting and beginning to think about trying again.

DH and I are planning on taking the next month between the miscarriage and my next period to just have fun, not stress about trying but moving on at our own pace before hopefully trying after that. We've had no problem conceiving obviously but it seems luck is not on our side for getting out of first trimester. Am I completely crazy to be hopeful that the next one will be THE ONE? Am I crazy for potentially putting myself through all this heartbreak and disappointment yet again?

No honey you are not crazy, just hopeful and that is how you should be. Never give up hope if this is what you want.

I am 43 years old and after being told I can not have children, I became pregnant in June and lost the baby in August. But I am still hopeful that I will get pregnant again and have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being positive and hopeful. I wish you the very best.