Am I doing something wrong? :(

[TashaAndBump]

I have always breastfed Anna pretty much on demand. I have never thought anything of it, it was just the way we have always done things and it works for us.

However recently Dominic commented that I shouldn't be breastfeeding her on demand as she is too old - I had never thought of this before! She is nearly nine months old... Is this too old to be breastfeeding whenever she wants? Obviously in public I do not feed her wherever I am, whatever I am doing, but if I know that she wants some milk I will think about where I can go to to feed her and how quickly I can get there...

Whenever Anna has a shock, or hurts herself I naturally (without thinking) put her to the breast as it soothes her and makes us both feel better and calm. But is she too old for this sort of breastfeeding? Should I be looking at other ways to soothe her, and using breastfeeding as a last resort, even though it works best for us?

I hadn't thought much on it when Dominic said this, but then I went round my mum's today, and Anna saw the cat (she is very scared of the cat for some reason ) and she screamed, clung to me and immediately rooted for my breast for comfort, I gave it to her without a second thought as she was distressed and I knew it would calm her down. But my sister said this was appalling as Anna is so old I shouldn't be feeding her for comfort like that, or on demand. My mother agreed are they all right and I am wrong for feeding Anna like this at 9 months??

I had never thought of it but now I am feeling really self conscious and like I am doing something really wrong - but I didn't even know; the thought I should change how I feed her now as she is 'too old' never crossed my mind! What do you all think? Is my baby really too old to be fed on demand or comfort fed? Should I be thinking about only giving her milk at meal times? I'm confused! I don't know how I'm supposed to feed her now if it is supposed to be different or set - I always used to just feed Anna whenever she wanted it!

I wish they hadn't said anything it has made me wonder if I am doing something really wrong and has made me think that I am a bad mum for feeding a nine month old like this?? How often / when should you breastfeed a nine month old?? The idea there was a set way to do it / you shouldn't feed them on demand after a certain point never crossed my mind! What should I be doing?

 

[1st_baby]

You should not feel like your doing something wrong hun , your simply doing what any mother would ..making sure her baby is happy ..

I do agree somewhat that she is old enough not to get it on demand but since its been so long your doing it changing it now maybe scary stuff for her ..maybe just try to hold her and talk to her when shes scared ..dose she use a dummy? or have a blankie she can hold when shes not happy ..

 

[Serene123]

I do exactlyyyyyyy the same and I have no intention of stopping!

 

[TashaAndBump]

You should not feel like your doing something wrong hun , your simply doing what any mother would ..making sure her baby is happy ..

I do agree somewhat that she is old enough not to get it on demand but since its been so long your doing it changing it now maybe scary stuff for her ..maybe just try to hold her and talk to her when shes scared ..dose she use a dummy? or have a blankie she can hold when shes not happy ..

She won't take a dummy and her only real comfort at the moment is my breasts! Which, I guess, is the problem... We are trying me leaving her with Dom as much as possible because when she is not with me she does not tend to look for my boobs as much. I am just a bit lost. Learning new
ways to comfort her will be hard for both of us. That will be the hardest part. If I really shouldn't be feeding her on demand then I will work on spacing out her feeds, maybe giving her a cup of water to see if she is thirsty, or a biscuit or something to see her through to her next meal. But comforting her without milk will be hard...

When she is scared or hurt, or she works herself up into an anger tantrum, or she is really upset and does that shaky breath thing, the thing that calms her right down is my breast and until she gets it she generally just gets more and more distressed! I can stop any nightmare, sooth and upset, calm any anger and fix any ache, scrape or bump to the head by feeding her. And I honestly have very little idea how to otherwise! It will take some getting used to and some trial and error to find ways to sooth her without putting her to my breast.

Is it really so bad to sooth her with breastfeeding? I was really shocked how appalled my sister was I really feel shocked that this is not normal as this is as we have always done it just works for us, but I should work on changing this anyway because it will make things easier when others are looking after her I guess she won't scream and scream for a booby that she can not have...

I never thought about it honestly and didn't know you were supposed to stop using breastfeeding as a way of comforting them or would have made more effort before now, so it has crept up on us so suddenly that I have to stop doing what we are so used to.

 

[marley2580]

I don't see anything wrong with soothing her with the breast. I now limit Kaya's access to the breast by offering her food, a drink a toy when she's wanting it, but if she's upset or insisting I nurse her. She's almost totally night weaned, but if she's upset I'll feed her. Go with what you're comfortable with hun, she'll wean herself before too long no matter what you do or don't do.

 

[Samantha675]

I see nothing wrong with what you are doing either, actually it is a very natural instinct to offer the breast when you LO cries. If she were a 2 year old, I could understand their reaction, but she is still only 9 months. Tasha, I do the same thing with Brennan and I will be damned if I left anyone put me off it.