Am I doing the right thing regarding getting rid of our dog?

[amygwen]

Let me start off by saying, he is NOT our dog. We are fostering him, so we are basically keeping him in our care until someone wants to adopt him. Unfortunately, the dog has non-contagious mange which scares a lot of people away from adopting him, so he's been fostered for quite a long time now while he's being treated.

We have had the dog since June 2012 and when we started fostering he was 6 months old. We didn't realize how much work it'd be with a pup and it's actually taken a lot of time away from us as a family having the dog. He's great, but he's petrified of my OH (my OH is heavy-set and we've noticed he's quite scared of large men). It makes it really unenjoyable because my OH is home all day while I work which means, the dog never comes out of his crate (not because he's forced to stay in, but because he doesn't want to). So when I get home he is so excited to see me which is nice but he's CRAZY, I seriously can't sit down without him biting on me or jumping on me, which is fine, I understand he's a dog but it just makes life difficult for me.

Also, he loves my LO and is always nipping at him and running into him (he's a dog, I know and I watch them all the time to make sure it never escalates, which it doesn't). We also live on the 2nd floor in a small apartment, the dog has a lot of energy and is always wanting to run around. We try our best to take him the dog parks or on extremely long walks, but realistically after both my OH and I work full-time, it's difficult to find the time (or energy) to do those things.

Anyways, I've sent an e-mail today to get rid of the dog and have him find a new family to foster him (he WILL NOT be put to sleep - just put in a different foster home). But I'm so sad and feeling somewhat guilty. He's been around a long time and he likes me and my LO a lot. But I can't help but know it's the right decision for him to move onto a different (and better) family. I've literally been crying on and off all night and day today since I sent the e-mail. I don't want to regret it, but I also wanted someone elses input. What do you think?

 

[Redfraggle]

You're totally doing the right thing. Both for your family and for the dog.

I know it isn't your OH's fault but how awful must it be for the poor dog to be scared all day long. He deserves to be somewhere he feels safe.

 

[amygwen]

You're totally doing the right thing. Both for your family and for the dog.

I know it isn't your OH's fault but how awful must it be for the poor dog to be scared all day long. He deserves to be somewhere he feels safe.

Thanks for your response. I'm happy to hear I'm doing the right thing. I've been saying for a long time "it'll get better, it'll get better" but it never does get better. It sucks, I'd like to think in the future it'll be different but I feel so sad for the dog just because he's petrified to come out of his crate!

I appreciate your response, a lot.

 

[Redfraggle]

You can't say you didn't give it a fair try.

I'm sure they'll find a family he will flourish in.

 

[holly2234]

Completely agree with Redfraggle. And to add to that, maybe the next foster family will really be the family for him!

Its a really lovely thing to foster dogs and you have given the dog a loving and safe home for all this time. He will get the same elsewhere.

 

[amygwen]

You can't say you didn't give it a fair try.

I'm sure they'll find a family he will flourish in.

I do appreciate it. It makes me feel a lot better hearing you say that! I hope he does, I told them he should probably find a foster family with whom is either extremely active or has a HUGE backyard so he can run around to his little hearts desire.

Completely agree with Redfraggle. And to add to that, maybe the next foster family will really be the family for him!

Its a really lovely thing to foster dogs and you have given the dog a loving and safe home for all this time. He will get the same elsewhere.

Thank you Holly. I really truely hope so! I was hoping we'd be a good fit, but obviously not. Feeling somewhat guilty since he's bounced around to like five different homes including us and the next foster family. Hopefully he finds the right fit in the future!!!

You're so nice, thank you so much.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Definitely doing the right thing. Its great that you've taken him in and looked after him so well, but it sounds like he'd be better suited to a different family and there's nothing wrong with that!

 

[moomoo]

Think of what you have given him, rather than you getting rid of him.

 

[amjon]

He will be fine and probably better off with someone he's more comfortable with. Years ago I got a tiny pot bellied pig with red mange. The doctor gave her an Ivermectin injection for it (several actually). One day I had her outside and she insisted on peeing on the concrete patio. When she did I saw what looked like long worms come out with her urine. I called the doctor and was told that THAT was not where worms came from, I said, okay, but that's sure what they look like. I took her in and he had her go on the exam table. He said, "those sure do look like worms". He took one back to the microscope and looked it up and told me she had kidney worms. He said he hadn't seen it in over 20 years. The Ivermectin had killed them and they had simply been flushed through her system. He gave her a few more injections after that to make sure any eggs that hatched were killed and she was fine.

 

[Sarahkka]

You are totally doing the right thing by the dog and your family. I think you are showing true animal smarts by recognizing that his behaviours are indicating stress. And you are doing something proactive about it. It's not easy to let go of an animal you care about, but you are doing everything you can to get him the best possible life. Huge kudos and a personal thank you from me for being one of those animal lovers who makes time to foster. It's so important. And you definitely have given him lots of positive experiences. He'll build on those somewhere that also meets his other needs. You've done well by him.

 

[amygwen]

Definitely doing the right thing. Its great that you've taken him in and looked after him so well, but it sounds like he'd be better suited to a different family and there's nothing wrong with that!

Thank you I hope so. I'm sure he'll find the perfect family. I hate waiting though, I haven't heard anything back and it's making me quite sad. Wish it was just over and done with. Thank you!

Think of what you have given him, rather than you getting rid of him.

Thanks for your input. I agree. We've been watching him a while and done a lot of positive things for him. I'll try to keep reminding myself of that!! Thank you

He will be fine and probably better off with someone he's more comfortable with. Years ago I got a tiny pot bellied pig with red mange. The doctor gave her an Ivermectin injection for it (several actually). One day I had her outside and she insisted on peeing on the concrete patio. When she did I saw what looked like long worms come out with her urine. I called the doctor and was told that THAT was not where worms came from, I said, okay, but that's sure what they look like. I took her in and he had her go on the exam table. He said, "those sure do look like worms". He took one back to the microscope and looked it up and told me she had kidney worms. He said he hadn't seen it in over 20 years. The Ivermectin had killed them and they had simply been flushed through her system. He gave her a few more injections after that to make sure any eggs that hatched were killed and she was fine.

Wow! How crazy. So glad she did OK with the Ivermectin treatment. We are doing another treatment for the dog, it's called ProMeris and is apparently a lot more effective and is quicker to get rid of the mange, but he's had it for about 4 months now! It sucks. Thanks for your advice!

You are totally doing the right thing by the dog and your family. I think you are showing true animal smarts by recognizing that his behaviours are indicating stress. And you are doing something proactive about it. It's not easy to let go of an animal you care about, but you are doing everything you can to get him the best possible life. Huge kudos and a personal thank you from me for being one of those animal lovers who makes time to foster. It's so important. And you definitely have given him lots of positive experiences. He'll build on those somewhere that also meets his other needs. You've done well by him.

Thank you Sarahkka! I appreciate you telling me that. It's obvious he's not happy with us entirely. I can just imagine how much he would thrive and how happy he would be w/ a better family who can provide him with a lot more than we can! Also somewhere where he is 100% comfortable with BOTH of his owners. Thank you very much, you don't know how much I appreciate you telling me that.