Am i just being stupid???

[maddiwatts19]

I just found out from my best friend that another one of her friends is 12 weeks pregnant and how happy she was for her....
I just help feeling so low and shit and jealous!!!
My best friend didnt know about my pregnancy, but i know that if she did,she wouldnt have reacted like this for me... When i told all my friends i was engaged, she was the only one who wasnt happy and didnt ask to see the ring. she said congratulations but was never happy about it. When me and my OH got together, she was really jealous, but shes the one i hoped would be happy for me...
But shes not. Ive asked her to be my maid of hounour, and since then we havent been aloud to talk about wedding things...
And now i'm jealouse of someone ive never met...
God i feel so stupid feeling like this...

 

[Rumpskin]

You poor button.

Your friend sounds very jealous of you first of all. That is why she is behaving the way she does. Guess she does not want anything getting in the way of the two of you.

I am sorry that you feel the way you do about someone who is pregnant. Your pregnancy is still very much so fresh in your mind.

Sending you a hug xxx

 

[jojosalmon]

I dont think you are being unreasonable to want your friend to act like a friend hunni.

 

[MrsF]

aww hun, you are certainly not stupid

just wanted to send you some hugs

 

[shockd&amazed]

I can totally imagine what you feel. A good mate of mine has recently had a baby and, while I was pregnant I was really thrilled and loved talking about it, but now I've lost my second I just feel i want to not go there!
Don't want to see pics, do't want to talk about it! I love the little baby to bits but it's just too raw.
Don't worry or analyse these things. You are going to feel a lot of strange things after a loss.
Hope you are doing OK xx

 

[honeybunch2k7]

No, you are not stupid. The jealousy you feel is normal. I felt/feel it a lot towards pregnant women and women with babies all the time.

Don't feel guilty for feeling jealous.

 

[maddiwatts19]

Thanks girlies...
I was just feeling stupid of being jealous of someone i've never met...
But on the bright side, i had my check up today, and i'm alowed to start TTC in 3 months!!

Finally a bit of good news!!
xxx

 

[xclairex]

babe dont feel stupid of course ur aloud to feel this way and everyone would i still feel jealous wen i hear people are pregnant or i see babies its so upsetting i lost both my babies an cant wait to get pregnant again but of course scared! u feel what u want hun cos u can!! x

 

[Schmelly]

I had to get all excited when I heard that my best friend's brother and his wife are 12 weeks along, just yesterday. I really am pleased for them...but I also feel sick with jealousy. I want it to be me. Instead of a BFP, I've got dear ol' AF paying me a visit...again.

I find it hard when I'm out and about too. I had an attack of jealousy at the supermarket at the weekend. It seemed that every woman I passed was either visibly pg, or had a baby in the trolley. BUT (big but!), I then stopped and made a conscious effort to think..."these ladies could be the girls from B&B...and if it was any of those fab girls then I would be pleased for them".

It helped me. Of course I'm not a saint and I still felt deeply jealous...but it helped me to get things into perspective and remind myself that all those ladies had a right to be happy and have children, and it's not their fault that I'm still waiting.

I think all your feelings are perfectly natural. It doesn't help those feelings to know that it's natural.........but maybe it could help you to stop beating yourself up for feeling those things. You can't help it! Just be patient with yourself.

 

[Schmelly]

And another thing..............

You are also completely normal for wishing your 'friend' could be happy, excited and pleased for you. Especially if you see her reacting like this for other people. That must be hard. I agree that she sounds jealous of you, so maybe she is having her own internal battles. But that doesn't mean you don't wish she could be there for you a little more, through good times AND bad.

Maybe you need to have an honest chat with her...if you feel strong enough? She obviously means a lot to you, if she is your MoH, and with the important friendships I think you have to work on them the same as with a marriage, etc. Try to keep the lines of communication open and don't avoid the big things as they may eventually cause an irreparable rift.

Good luck.

 

[logie68]

Hi, please don't be worried about being jealous. It is so normal. My hubbie's cousing recently had a wee girl and I cried all day. It took me a week to go and see her and, even then, I couldn't hold her. I just can't understand why she can do it and I can't - after 5 miscarriages. We both have a boy of the same age and now she has the 'perfect family' - even though she is 10 years younger than me! I am finding it really hard even though I am thrilled for her. Luckily, she and all the family totally understand what I am feeling. The expect these feelings - even they don't think it is wrong to be upset! Hormones honey!

 

[Gabi]

Chill hun. It's normal. No need to feel bad either I say.
When I lost my last pregnancy it wasn't 2 weeks later when I found out my DH's cousin was 7 weeks pregnant.
Now I have a very good relationship with his cousin. She's a lovely person who really deserved such good news. However I never called her, never emailed her. Never mentioned to anyone that I say congratulations. Sure deep down I was over the moon for her but unfortunately I was told at the wrong time and all the nasty feelings were clouding my mind.

I only started talking to her properly again a month or two ago. She's now 3 months ahead of me and to me that's 100%. She's not a horrible person who has to go on and on about how happy and excited she is. She's been supporting me all the way with the loss I had.

You'll soon let those feelings go. Don't try to rush it though. They'll eventually not bother you anymore and soon you'll be the one announcing your wonderful news to everyone!