Am I just hurting myself even more??

[charveyron]

Hi everyone I'm new on here, but have been looking at the forums for about an hour and decided that I would finally pluck up the courrage to ask for some help!!!

I done a hpt on the 14 of march and had a bfp, I had convinced myself that it would be negative because we hadn't been active in the bedroom that month! Anyway I done another test a few days later and that was also a bfp - So we're all happy and everything, I worked out my dates that I was about 5 weeks pregnant, but the whole time it was at the back of my mind that perhaps I was further along -probably about 9 weeks, anyway on Easter Saturday at about 4pm I started spotting, it was a really tiny amount and really light pink, it then stopped untill about 8pm it was slightly heaver but I wasn't too concerned as I had had heaver bleeding in my first pregnancy (I had healthy bg twins!). I called NHS direct just to put my mind at ease and was told that it may well be a threatend miscarriage but I should make an appointment to see my GP on tuesday (as monday was bank holiday), which really didn't put my mind at ease, the bleeding stopped again untill the following morning when it returned, the blood was red like a period but not as heavy - I took it to mean that I had lost my baby, and found it really hard to deal with, then my mum and one of my close friends said that I should ask for a scan because I had previously had twins I may have been pregnant with twins againand only lost one . I decieded against it and tried to accept the fact that I'd lost my baby, but found this really hard to do and eventually 2 weeks later admitted that I needed some help because I really wasn't coping, so I made an appointment with my gp, she said that she didn't want to put me on anti depressents incase I was still pregnant and sent me to the hospital for a scan - when I got to the hospital they done a pregnancy test which was negative and said that there was no need for a scan and that I'd had a complete miscarriage, at no point have I been examined, I haven't even had my tummy felt.
Anyway if my first dates were right and I hadn't lost the baby I would be about 10 weeks now, but if I were further along I would be about 14 weeks, the thing is I still feel pregnant and I swear I can feel something kicking, I have put it down to me just wishing that I hadn't lost the baby and being in denial about it, but then I think how could the gp and the hospital be so sure that I had lost my baby if they didn't examine me??

I'm sorry that I've rambled on, but I really don't know what to do, I haven't mentioned any of this to my DH because he'll just think I'm mad - It just doen't seem to have affected him in the same way as it has me and I get the feeling that he thinks I should be over it now, but I just feel really confused and lost.

xxx

 

[Omi]

Oh, bunny..so sorry to hear what you're going through. Im no expert but i suspect one or two scenarios; one you wanna hear, and which i hope is true- you are still pregnant-stranger things have happened, or.. you really have mc and you still have hgc (pregnancy hormones) in your body which are giving you the symptoms you are describing... I hope fopr your sake its the former.

Take care of yourself and do speak to your OH.. sometimes it helps..there's no such thing as 'getting over it' etc..after all being pg is not just a physical thing but affects your emotions as well.... Please dont feel alone with all of this we're all here to help and support you in any way we can

All the best, sweetie!! xxx

 

[katherin]

I know it is really hard losing a baby. Though you haven't seen him or her yet outside your womb, you already develop a special relationship with them. Just give it time to heal and try not to think about it too much. I know there will come a time wherein you can already accept that the baby is gone and he or she is already up there with the other angels. Just don't mind the pressure some people may put on you..

 

[Rumpskin]

Hey lovely

I am sorry you are going through this. It must be awful.

I would go to your doctors lovely for more investigation xx

 

[Snowball]

Hello hun. I'm sorry you're going through all this

I would go to your gp and demand a scan. That is the only way you are going to know one way or the other.

I gave birth on Wednesday to our baby boy who died at 21 weeks gestation and even now I swear I can feel him move. I think that is a natural feeling when you are so willing that nothing has happened and they are still ok.

I really hope you are still pregnant hun. If you need to talk you can pm me anytime

 

[Faerie]

I would definitely insist on a scan - I was told I'd had a miscarriage, and they even did do a scan and it was only because the Dr took my hormone levels and then again a week later and saw that although they were very low they had risen and did another scan and noticed I had an ectopic pregnancy (I would have been about 8 weeks).
On a positive note both my cousin and my sister were told they miscarried and it turned out they were carrying twins and one was still ok. My niece is now 20 months and my cousin's baby is 1 week.
You need to put your mind at rest, I pray for you that you will be celebrating, but if not then you need to be able to start to properly process your emotions and grieve. Thinking of you xxx

 

[charveyron]

thank you everyone for youe replys, I think I am just in denail about what has happened, I'm so angry at the gp for sending me to the maternity wing at the hospital for a scan when all they done was a pregnancy test, even the consultant at the hospital said she didn't know why the gp had sent me because the gp could have done a pregnancy test herself!

I will talk to my OH, I made it sould like he is really unsupportive but he's not, he said that he doesn't feel like he's lost a 'baby' as it wasn't really real to him because his body wasn't changing and he hadn't seen the baby on a scan, he feels like he's lost part of the future and says that he finds it easier to deal with it like that - I just wish I could find an easier way of dealing with it, because I just feel really rubbish at the moment and feel like I'm going mad!

xxx