Mehimus10
Trying for one of my own.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2009
- Messages
- 1
- Reaction score
- 0
Hello,
I am Mehimus. (Me, for short). I am in an odd situation, but within this situation I find myself wanting, and trying for a child.
I'm almost twenty-one years old. I know this might seem young to be wanting a child, but try to understand that I've had one of those "soap opera lives", that forced me to mature quickly. Part of this maturity brought me to the man I am with. As I matured, I found that men/boys my own age were...well...idiots (no offense to anyone!). I fell in love with a man twenty-nine years my senior. His mother loves and accepts us, and my mother...well, she's coming around, a year and a half later.
Part of the cause of my "growing up" so quickly was because when I was about twelve, my mother went into a very depressive state, and long story short, I ended up spending the next few years "playing mommy", to a seven year old, and a one year old. Our father got up and went to work everyday, our mother stayed in bed all day, and I took care of the kids and minded the house, all the while trying to keep up in school (I was homeschooled, so it's not like I was gone all day). It was a rough couple of years that taught me all about being responsible, and by the time my mother came out of that depression, I was sure I never wanted kids of my own. I spent my teenage years claiming "I've raised two kids already, I'm done", because while my mother did come out of that depression, she spend the rest of my teenage years going in and out of other depressions, and each time my two little sisters knew that I was the one who they could trust, I was the one who tucked them in at night. The older of the two, who is now almost seventeen, still trusts me more than she does our mother.
Anyway, so I met "my man", about two and a half years ago, and just over eighteen months ago, I moved in with him. Despite the age gap, we really do love each other, and really do want what we have to last. Over the course of our relationship, I (we) opted not to use any form of birth control, but rather to "accept whatever might happen". And over the last eighteen months, I've had three miscarriages, the most recent one being just this week. I've recently done some research as to what might be the cause of these miscarriages (all between two and six weeks of conception), and gotten some ideas of what I might be able to do to prevent further miscarriages, and gain a viable pregnancy. "My man" and I discussed things and have decided to really try for a baby, and not just leave it at "come what may", or whatever you want to call it. He has not had any children as of yet, and (in my opinion) that's a shame because he's great with kids (my two year old godson for example), and would make a wonderful father. For myself, I have alot of reasons for wanting a child, the foremost being that "my man" changed how I felt about being a parent. He taught me that it's okay for me to live my own life, and not always feel tied to my mother's problems, and how they impacted me. As far as timing, I would very much like to have a child while I still can, because I have an autoimmune disease, and the longer I wait to have a child, the less chance it will even be possible. So, as they say "now or never".
So, that is what brought me here, because with how my mother feels about my choice in partners leads me to seriously doubt she's going to be overly thrilled about handing off advice on this situation - be in conception, pregnancy, or the ordeal of being a first time mom (for real).
So basically...HELP!
I am Mehimus. (Me, for short). I am in an odd situation, but within this situation I find myself wanting, and trying for a child.
I'm almost twenty-one years old. I know this might seem young to be wanting a child, but try to understand that I've had one of those "soap opera lives", that forced me to mature quickly. Part of this maturity brought me to the man I am with. As I matured, I found that men/boys my own age were...well...idiots (no offense to anyone!). I fell in love with a man twenty-nine years my senior. His mother loves and accepts us, and my mother...well, she's coming around, a year and a half later.
Part of the cause of my "growing up" so quickly was because when I was about twelve, my mother went into a very depressive state, and long story short, I ended up spending the next few years "playing mommy", to a seven year old, and a one year old. Our father got up and went to work everyday, our mother stayed in bed all day, and I took care of the kids and minded the house, all the while trying to keep up in school (I was homeschooled, so it's not like I was gone all day). It was a rough couple of years that taught me all about being responsible, and by the time my mother came out of that depression, I was sure I never wanted kids of my own. I spent my teenage years claiming "I've raised two kids already, I'm done", because while my mother did come out of that depression, she spend the rest of my teenage years going in and out of other depressions, and each time my two little sisters knew that I was the one who they could trust, I was the one who tucked them in at night. The older of the two, who is now almost seventeen, still trusts me more than she does our mother.
Anyway, so I met "my man", about two and a half years ago, and just over eighteen months ago, I moved in with him. Despite the age gap, we really do love each other, and really do want what we have to last. Over the course of our relationship, I (we) opted not to use any form of birth control, but rather to "accept whatever might happen". And over the last eighteen months, I've had three miscarriages, the most recent one being just this week. I've recently done some research as to what might be the cause of these miscarriages (all between two and six weeks of conception), and gotten some ideas of what I might be able to do to prevent further miscarriages, and gain a viable pregnancy. "My man" and I discussed things and have decided to really try for a baby, and not just leave it at "come what may", or whatever you want to call it. He has not had any children as of yet, and (in my opinion) that's a shame because he's great with kids (my two year old godson for example), and would make a wonderful father. For myself, I have alot of reasons for wanting a child, the foremost being that "my man" changed how I felt about being a parent. He taught me that it's okay for me to live my own life, and not always feel tied to my mother's problems, and how they impacted me. As far as timing, I would very much like to have a child while I still can, because I have an autoimmune disease, and the longer I wait to have a child, the less chance it will even be possible. So, as they say "now or never".
So, that is what brought me here, because with how my mother feels about my choice in partners leads me to seriously doubt she's going to be overly thrilled about handing off advice on this situation - be in conception, pregnancy, or the ordeal of being a first time mom (for real).
So basically...HELP!
hun welcome to bnb... you will find all the support you need here 
