Angry 11 month old

[whigfield]

Just posting to see if this is normal, or if I have a particularly angry child.

My son is 11 months now and for the past four to five months or so he's been demonstrating a real temper and anger. It's usually out of frustration, say... He'll want to get past you, he'll want to get something, he wants to do something he isn't allowed, he's taken away from a dangerous activity/place, he's stopped from pulling the dog's ears... etc etc etc.

I understand getting angry when you're frustrated and can't do what you feel like doing, but he has started hitting, pulling hair, and acting out aggressively. He bites himself, usually his wrist or his arm, or will try to grab a part of you and twist/scratch.

I really understand that he's trying to get a release for his anger, but I can't tolerate him hurting himself or me.

Is this normal behavior, or should I be worried? How best should I deal with these angry outbursts? I try to minimise having to intervene in the first place by setting up barriers and just trying to prevent the situations from happening in the first place, but I can't prevent everything!

If he hits me I try to just grab his hand and make a stroking gesture instead with an "aahhh that's nice, stroke mummy" crap, but it's not really effective if he's angry and he just wants to lash out. I also try and distract what I can by trying to make him laugh or do silly faces, but sometimes he's just too far gone in the anger to entertain it. And sometimes, it really does tick me off and hurt me so I'll firmly tell him no and put him somewhere safe and walk away for a bit, but I don't know if this is right either. After all, he's angry and doesn't know what to do with himself, and I feel like I should be teaching him instead of punishing him, but at the same time, he's not even one yet... So.... Help?

 

[justplay91]

I think it's normal. I have a son around the same age. They're starting to have all these complex emotions, but aren't old enough to have any way of dealing with them (even toddlers can scream and throw a tantrum but our babies just aren't quite there yet). My son has started hitting as well. So far, he seems easy to calm and distract with just a cuddle. But I don't expect that to last long! Usually I do firmly say "no hitting" but then I pick him up and give him snuggles so he knows I'm there to help him manage his emotions.

 

[Amalee]

I think you're right about how sometimes kids just have to let out some energy when their feelings are too big for them... Have you tried redirecting to a more appropriate item to take the frustrations out on? If he has a squishy toy that makes noise, maybe you can off that for him to bite at or squeeze to his hearts content. One of my son's favorites is not even a toy; we have a pair of swim shoes that are too small for him, and they still have the little elastic rope keeping the left and right together. He loves stretching them apart as far as he can.

 

[StranjeGirl]

Does he sleep well? I've noticed over the years that if dd doesn't get proper sleep for a couple days she is a serious monster. One of my friends has a ds who was really angry (i'm not sure how he is now because I have moved and haven't seen her for a while) but he was also a terrible sleeper, and I always wondered if that had something to do with it. Just a thought!

 

[whigfield]

Normally, he's a pretty good sleeper. From say 9pm - 7am, and then 2 naps in the day. The past couple of days he's been up every half an hour, but I've noticed the aggression is less towards me, so I don't think it correlates in this case? He does however seem to be teething, and it might be his top canines coming through (or second set of incisors, not sure yet) - just wondering if this has anything to do with it?

I will try giving him something else instead though!