Another friend is pregnant....

[wannabe mam]

Does anyone else feel like they are being left behind as more and more family, friends, work colleagues fall pregnant?
I am honestly happy for her and her partner but it just flags up the question again 'why is it taking so long for me?'.
Admittedly I am terribly jealous and just needed to vent that on here where you all understand why.
Thanks!

 

[glaciergirl]

Hello. I had my D&C on Nov 17th and really thought I'd done it this month to get preggers, but then my AF arrived right at the end of my short break in Marrakesh. I had spotting leading up to it - but I was in denial, and so when it arrived I just cried my eyes out, I tried to be strong for my husband and not ruin the end of the holiday - but pregnant women were EVERYWHERE which made it worse.

Also my lovely sister who has been trying since last July - just phoned to tell me she is 3 months pregnant! I was so happy for her - but it brought back all my feelings of my own failed pregnancy. I have only just stopped crying my eyes out.

What I cannot understand is - why me? I am sure all of us ask that....why were we picked out to lose our babies, its so unfair. 2 other women I know who were pregnant at the same time as me are healthily progressing - it makes me feel worse like life has left me behind and forgotten about me.

Anyway - I just feel so sad and so unhappy today I had to post this. xxx

 

[wannabe mam]

Hi Glacier,
Sorry for your loss, I ask myself 'why me?' all the time to. This latest pregnant friend of mine only tried for 1 month and about 10 years ago had an abortion. I know this dosnt mean she dosnt deserve to get pregnant but it seems even more unfair!
I hope you are feeling better, we do have these awful days that these other woman will never have to experience.

 

[glaciergirl]

Thanks for replying Wannabemam. Also I think I forgot to add that PMS makes it all seem so worse and hopeless than it really is.

I have felt so low today and feel cheated this month as my cycles have changed so much after the D&C. I ovulated 3 days earlier than before miscarriage and was not ready for it so we only bd'd about 2 days before ovulation - which clearly was not enough times! However now I know, I'm going back to my previous timetable that got me +ve in Sept which was bd'ing 5 -6 days in advance before ovulation kicked in.

I am so happy for my sis though - me and OH were only planning on having one child - and tbh was worried my sis was never going to get pregnant. Now she is - we both know we can have kids that will be close cousins like we are siblings. Also -I keep thinking about another post I read where they say the body is still recovering after this huge trauma and maybe its just not ready. Every woman is different - we will both have our babies soon when it is our time.

 

[Lucia]

I feel for you. I have so many friends at work who have fallen pg since my first loss that I can't even count them all. My bff has had one baby and has another one on the way since my first loss as well. It kind of makes me feel like a failure. I try to tell myself that I can't be trying to measure up to other people's life calendars, but it's hard.

 

[MissMaternal]

I can totally understand how you're feeling. I work with a lady who is due 2 days before my due date was...and seeing her bump everyday is hard. My best friend has recently told me she's pregnant aswell, and although i am extremely happy for her and it's no great surprise (i knew she was TTC), it still hurt like hell when she told me. Another close friend has just had a baby boy a week ago, and although it's hard to see a newborn baby, it's also good because i am his godmother and he is SO adorable... xx

 

[babybell]

I had a really hard day yesterday - I went out with 3 of my closest friends and all of them are pregnant!!! I held it together while I was with them but spent the evening in bed crying
There is a girl at work that is too and I hate seeing her every day
I'm still waiting for AF nearly 9 weeks after my D and C and it just feels like I have nothing to focus on and am just stuck in limbo.
Sending you a big hug and hope you get your BPB soon hunni

 

[pinkflamingo]

Yes I feel like everyone is pregnant. After we had our BFP my cousin announced that he and his wife were due in June, and I was so excited as we would have been due in July. We were waiting until 12 weeks before announcing the pregnancy, and unfortunately never got that far. I am going through a mmc as we speak.

Now I worry how I will feel when I see my cousins baby as we will know that we would have been holding ours shortly after. I can only hope that by June we have a baby on the way, and hopefully that will ease the emotions somewhat.

Sorry for all the losses here. xx

 

[wannabe mam]

Thanks for your support ladies! My boss also got pregnant same time as me so I had to watch everyday as she grew. But time has passed now and I am honestly getting more obsessed and upset by all of this!
Hopefully it will be all of our turns soon xxx

 

[ali...cat]

I'm so sorry for all of your losses. I had a MMC last year. Found out on 1 Nov and had an awful time with it. Bled for 7 weeks so only got AF on 31 Dec. We are back ttc for the first time and AF due 28 Jan so going crazy waiting until I can test...but like you whilst waiting a colleague at work has anounced her pregnancy (I actually gave her my spare pregnancy tests ater I got my BFP as I knew she was trying) and my best friend just told me yesterday that she was pregnant and it was an accident. I've also had 3 friends have babies born whilst I was going through the MMC and have had to see them all which has been so difficult and invovled lots of tears after the visits. It is so hard watching other people be where you want to be, especially when they don't understand what we have been through. I have to believe that we will all get there though and I wish you all lots of love and big hugs xxx