Another insensitive comment!

[pixielou]

Hubby and I went out at the weekend to meet a friend for coffee who has a baeutiful baby, now she knows about us ttc and i have felt relatively comfortable about her knowing as she is my husbands and not in my close circle of friends and I feel ok with this.

So, we had all met 'how are you, blah blah blah and then she just blurted out, 'so are you pregnant yet!' . At the time I was getting up to close the door and although I had heard what she said I said, 'sorry?'. I thought maybe I didn't hear properly or if I did she accidentally blurted it out and would not persist with this question. So after sitting back down she said it again!

I mean what do you say?! The thing is when I'm willing to talk about it openly then it's ok. I know maybe that she cares but how insensitive to just blurt it out like that. I know that she meant no harm but do people not realise that it's on our minds 24/7 and oh if I were pg I'm sure you would know. It sometimes seems like it's just a piece of gossip for them and they reaise that we have feelings.

I have stopped now talking to friends about it all, the only people I talk to are DH, close family and other women who are going through the same thing. I find it so hard to talk about and hate to be the topic of peoples conversation.

 

[vineyard]

I don't think that people realize that's its a bit rude. My sister in law asks me everytime I see her, "you pregnant yet?" What's funny is we'll be out for a beer and I'll be drinking. Ha! Yeah, I'm knocked up and trying to poison my unborn baby.

 

[brokenbits]

DP and I have not told anyone we're TTC or that we're going through IVF. I couldn't possibly cope with the questions and expectations.
I'm curious to know how you responded to your husbands friend? I think she was insensitive in bringing the subject up before you had even mentioned it though, of course, you only want to talk about it when YOU'RE ready, not when someone else wants to feed their inquisitions.

 

[rachelle1975]

People are arses.

I have changed my job at work and my leaving do was scheduled for 2 weeks ago. My mum died and a friend rang said she was sorry but that she was 'gutted as she was looking forward to a piss up'.... then asked when we were re-arranging it! I am never surprised by how tactless people are!

 

[Omi]

The mind boggles...wtf! is all i can say..

 

[wannabmum]

Oh huni, I'm sorry hate when people don't engage the brain before speaking!!

xx

 

[ariel]

I know how you feel, people can be so insensitive. I've had people tell me how to have sex, like they know and my doctors don't. I too, like you have stopped talking to people about it, it's just easier that way. I also don't want people to ask me of I'm pregnant when they know when I've had fertility treatment, just in case it does now work. It sounds like you've made a wise decision on who to discuss this with, it's the best for you.

 

[polo_princess]

You know what when i was TTC i actually found it was the ones closest to you (family & friends) that said the most insensitive things of all. Maybes its because they dont know what to say, or are thinking if they put on a brave front then you will too.

The only people who knew i had problems TTC were the girls on here, i didnt want to open myself up to a potential minefield of insensitive comments.

 

[CurlySue]

One I got yesterday off a girl who is supposedly my friend and spends hours ranting at me about her problems with her boyfriend.

"What are you worrying about things you can't control for? I thought you were having a month off from this. Can't you give ME a month off from it?"

I barely speak to her about things...

 

[Trying4ever]

What a wally!

 

[FJL]

https://ivfandacaustralia.darkbb.com/users/48/93/65/smiles/941318.gif is all I have to say!

 

[maz]

I love that smilie FJL ... what more needs to be said???

 

[hopeful4baby]

I feel very sad when people around KNOW what you are going through and they still feel like having gossip with u who just got pregnant and who just had a baby! (

People just don't have any idea and they aren't even trying to think!!

 

[Bexy]

I have a lovely best friend who (although doesn't know exactly how it feels) is super sensitive to the whole situation - so lovely! She even feels bad about telling me about her other friends getting preggo although her boss has just got her BFP after 3 years ttc!!

My brother-in-law on the other hand was quite tactless at the weekend by saying "when we were trying we did everything wrong: eat and drank what we liked/ had sex when we liked rather than on specific days - then we got pregnant first month of trying" ....urgh hello???? Try going through 2 years of ttc!!

Anyway I wasn't too fussed by what he said, I think that people just don't realise how sensitive it is to us LTTTC'ers nor how many tears we shed every month when that witch arrives!!!

 

[Ruthie1]

I know how you feel,

I agree with Polo_princess that it is the ones closest to you that are the most insenitive.

My DH's family are a nightmare - I normally just grin and bear it, but sometimes you just want to say WTF!! My father-in-law said to me on New Years Eve,
'you know what we want this and what will make us really happy'
I was a bit tiddled so I just blurted out - Yeah,cos i'd be really upset if i got pregnant! Don't you think i know that!!!!

People They make me crazy!!!

Sorry feel a bit better know i've go that off my chest!!

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