Another Month Off before IVf?

[CurlySue]

So, I know I probably ovulated in the last few days. We BD on Tues Fri, Sun (around ovulation, I mean). Basically every other day. I am pretty sure I ovulated on Sunday which means we BD sort of the day of ovulation and the previous day before the day before, kind of thing.

The thing is...I just did not care. I didn't want to. Had another one of my little mental breakdowns last night where I just cried myself to sleep because I was simply too angry and frustrated to properly try.

We are most likely doing IVF next cycle so I am wondering if I have just given up until then. Its like a mental preparation or something. Has anyone else ever done this? I feel like I am cheating myself but I just can't stand another BFN and at least this way I can say I didn't really properly try.

 

[Millnsy]

I'm with you mate. Day 25 for me, ovulated day 15 on Clomid and BD'ed as instructed by the professionals. Did an early test today and got a very definite BFN. I find testing early stops me getting my hopes up and keeps me sane for the last few days.

We are having a month off next month while they test DH swimmers again in preparation for IUI in April. Did you have any IUI cycles before the IVF?

HAve a good day xxx

 

[CurlySue]

Did not have IUI, no. I didn't ovulate once on Clomid, don't really ovulate so much on my own either so it would have been a complete waste of time.

I just don't feel mentally ready to TTC at the minute. I don't feel like I could mentally cope with another disappointment. I was angry when I ovulated. I did not want sex. I did not even want to try because I was thinking "Well, what's the point?" I've had around 38 cycles off the pill now. Not once has it been My Month so why would it be this month?

God, even when I was off the pill and not trying I never even got pregnant so why would I now I am trying my hardest? Those people who say "Just relax and don't think about it" are clearly wrong because I was relaxed and not thinking about it for at least a year before I started properly trying and fuck all happened.

I am just angry and hating my body at the minute.

 

[pixielou]

yeah sometimes it's difficult to muster up the energy mentally and physically! Maybe it is your way, subconsciously. of preparing yourself.
X

 

[Mrs T]

Am with your on the exact same thoughts, am due to ovulate any day now but know its not going to work so I've not pushing my dh to BD. I will be starting IVF too on my next cycle, hopefully around the 18/19th of this month.
I guess we should use this month just for fun..... and you never know we might get a surprise!

 

[pixielou]

Yeah, I came off the pill in 2004 but we were using other protection, even still I never fell pg before that either. Was always careful though. We have been ttc properly for about a year and yes it is very annoying when people say relax and it will happen. Even my best friend said that to me-of all people. I put her straight i said, 'Well when you have to take clomid on day 2-6 then call the hosp to get appt(who never call you back so you have to keep calling) then have have to go for scan on day 12 and then again on day 13(cos the eggs not big enough), have an injection, then do opk 2 weeks later, then make sure that you get your prescription forthe next month etc etc', well after that she was like oh well I suppose I so.
Thing is now is that she is ttc and normally she's so open about everything but she's closed up so much about ttc, they are trying but she says it will happen when it will happen, personally I don't take that attitude I'm much more of a proactive person and believe in getting to the root of the problem.

Anyways sorry for the rant.

Hope u feel better soon

 

[maz]

I know where you're coming from too. When we decided in September we were going for IVF we didn't bother trying anymore. Then when I phoned the clinic with my Day 1 we avoided altogether as I knew I would be injecting from Day21 so didn't want to risk being preggers and taking hormone suppressants - ha like that was going to happen all of a sudden.

After the MC, we took a couple of weeks off and then decided we'd try for a month before going for IVF again - needless to say we're going for IVF again. But again, after CD1 we haven't BD'd as I was paranoid I might damage a pregnancy with hormone suppressants - again

Now that AF has gone, and I know nothing's happening in there, we probably could have for the sake of it for a change - but I can't be bothered - I'm too tired from the meds...

Don't worry though CS - you're really not on your own. You've finally got to the stage where you're about to embark on IVF, and it has come at hopefully the end of a very long and emotional journey, and you're bound to be tired of - try not to beat yourself up over it...

 

[Mrs T]

I guess I dont have to worry about getting in the way of the ivf...I wont be seeing much of my DH . I'll be leaving him behind working in Doha whilst I fly to London I just before the : arrives. He's coming over for a few days just intime for my egg collection. So he can look after me and be ready to have another PESA/TESA done just incase his dont defrost well!!!!

 

[CurlySue]

Well, it's been and gone, now. There's no way on Earth I am pregnant so it kind of stops me from stressing myself out by symptom watching and the like.

Could do without all that...

 

[Brambletess]

Not sure if you remember my story but was diagnosed with seriously blocked and scarred fallopian tubes in January so can't concieve without IVF. After the initial shock I have felt a lot better and not TTC has made me a lot more relaxed and happy. Feel loads better now. Maybe a month off TTC before IVF is the best thing for you at this stage. You won't have that will i be/won't i be stress and then the gut churning dissapointment at the end. You could just concentrate on getting prepared for IVF instead. The IVF gives you a much better chance of concieving than the natural way.

I have my IVF consultation in three weeks, then after that it will all kick off qute soon i hope. Probably a month after yours.

 

[Brambletess]

Just read latest post and see you have ovulated. It will be good to not have the stress, thats what you need to concentrate on now, destressing your life and being as kind to yourself as possible.

 

[HAYS]

Sometimes i just think sod it,it hasnt worked so far,so not much point in !

 

[CurlySue]

To be honest, girls, I just get this terrible feeling that the world is against me, these days. I got my appointment through to discuss blood tests at hospital. Its on 23rd March, which is at least a week later than its supposed to be. My period is due next Wed or Thurs, meaning this appointment comes four days too late to start IVF next cycle since you have to phone up on CD1 to book your drugs appointment.

The thing is, the way the holidays work out in our office if I dont do it this next cycle I cannot have any time off until FUCKING JULY so this late appointment has not only pissed me off but it has delayed things for another FOUR FUCKING MONTHS.

You don't know how much I want to just kick the wall right now.

 

[CurlySue]

Sometimes i just think sod it,it hasnt worked so far,so not much point in !

...and then when the entire process seems to work against you you think "Why the Hell do I bother even trying ANYTHING"

 

[HAYS]

yup exactly its all just a pile of shit!!

I dont blame you for wanting to kick a wall, I'll bloody join you!

 

[CurlySue]

I can't take much more of this. I can't wait until July.

Within four weeks, they said. Within four weeks of having your blood tests done you will have your appointment. Well, mine will be a week late and it's that week late that is meaning that everything is off until July and I want to fucking kill someone. I really do.

 

[Brambletess]

Just a suggestion but can you not speak to your work about getting leave before hand. This is affecting your emotional health and that needs to be put into consideration as well as anything else. You are not asking for loads of time off, just a couple of days. There is alwasys pulling a sickie as well if you feel sure they won't cooperative. This is a special circumstance though, surely they will??

 

[CurlySue]

Work know my position, Bramble. They know what i am doing. If I were to call off sick simply because I was not given the holidays I wanted you can more or less guarantee that my job would no longer be secure. So many redundancies where I work and our office isnt the most stable as it is.

I have a new appointment now so hopefully the dates will fit in better.

Nope, special circumstances mean nothing. Office manager knows why I want the time off. She still wasn't flexible.

 

[miel]

completely understand you so freaking frustrating to jungle everything !!!!

 

[CurlySue]

The most annoying thing, Miel, is that they all have kids. They had no problem having kids. They pretend to understand but they don't. Do they really want me to postpone treatment simply because they are expecting me to fit in my IVF around everybody else's holidays?

Am so very tempted to just get myself signed off work. The stress of trying to please them, trying to get on with my arsehole of a co-worker and trying for a baby is too much. It really is.