another one bites the dust. ANGRY RANT ALERT.

[Evies_mummy]

So everyone's least favourite aunt showed her ugly face today, after i really really dared to think that this might possibly be it. SO upset, not even told hubby yet, as i know i will start crying the minute i see his face fall a little bit. Even though i know he will say "well, there's always next month".
NO!! i feel like screaming, it won't be next month or the month after, or the month after that.Things like this don't happen to people like me. It's the dirty chavs on the jeremy kyle show only have to stand next to a bloke in tesco and they're pregnant.
Someone like me who wants another baby, with all my heart and soul, will never be able to have what I want without a whole lot of hurt and heartbreak.
i just want to shout and scream and cry and say IT'S NOT BLOODY FAIR.
Why can't it just be me? just 2 little blue lines is all i wanted and all i got was AF 2 sodding days early.

If you have made it this far, choccy biscuits all round. sorry to rant, so so angry, frustrated, disappointed right now.

 

[amanda111308]

Aww love I can totally relate to your anger. We tried for months to get preggo with number 2 and miscarried and month after month nothing is happening for us either. It's extremely frustrating. My husband asks me if I'm pregnant yet all the time and it's so stressful. It makes me feel like the mc broke me...

*hugs*

 

[Evies_mummy]

yeah, i know how you feel. I had an ectopic in march last year and i feel like things just haven't been right since. It's just not happening.

I feel so angry and jealous of everyone else who seems to just get pregnant so easily and i feel so bad, but i just can't help my feelings. Had to remove people from facebook as i couldn't stand seeing the posts etc.

*hugs*

 

[amanda111308]

Ugh me too... Within 2 days 3 if my friends on Facebook gave birth and needless to say I spent those days bawling and praying for my own successful miracle. My sister is pregnant and every time we talk it's all about her pregnancy and I am so depressed...

 

[Evies_mummy]

I guess we are going to give it another 6 months and if nothing happens we'll go to a specialist for tests ect. Just feel as tho I'm letting him down in some way x

 

[Mom2sam]

Aww hugs! Its ok perfect place to rant on here hun as we all understand & hav all felt this at different points in ttc. My first took 5 years & just when i was ready to giv up it happened! It will happen for u in the meantime were all here so its ok to feel down i knw i used t cry after every AF & once i got pregnant had aweful hyperemesis all the way through until birth i wer vomiting 30x a day & lost so much weight & spent most my pregnancy in hospital once born everytime AF was a day late i'd cry lol! Onto next cycle hun & i knw what u mean I used t snap at DH everytime he said 'its ok we cn try again & it will happen but later realised he just trying to kp me optimustic stil didn't help at the time. Hope u get ur bfp next cycle! X

 

[amanda111308]

Believe me hun you aren't letting him down he is just anxious like you are and might even blame himself. Men take pride in being able to get their other half pregnant just like we take pride in being able to provide them with children. Don't be so hard on yourself. It will happen for us both I just know it chin up

 

[MellyH]

*hands over the choccy biscuits* It's absolutely not fair. So sorry

 

[BunnyN]

Just wanted to send hugs. I agree this is the perfect place to rant. The ladies here understand.

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

I appreciate the rant, rants are good for you! You need to get it out and around here, we have all had similar feelings and experiences.

It really sucks! You are told as a woman, girl, young lady, to be careful, as it seems kissing someone can lead to pregnancy.. and then you are my age and you find out that actually, making a baby is hard work! So then, you think, how do those people over there manage it? How is it possible that people who don't even know all this stuff about OPKs and temping and what not, end up with 6 kids? Haha.

I don't know the answer. But I do know BnB has been my lifesaver!!

 

[bananaboat]

I feel I'll be sharing your frustration and disappointment in the next day or two.

 

[Evies_mummy]

Thank you all so much ladies, I really appreciate it. I'm not so angry today, more upset than anything else.
I had a long talk with dh and he really doesn't get why I'm feeling like this and we had an argument about it. I think it's just our emotions running a bit high, plus his work is very stressful at the moment.
I was very proud of myself for not bursting into tears when I saw a week old baby in the super market this afternoon, even though my heart sunk through the floor, I held it together and had a little cry when I got home.

Keeping my fingers crossed for us all for bfps all round in march, but not hopeful for mine as I am in a play for the entire week i ovulate, so prob won't be able to bd much that week.

*passes the chocolate biscuits back round again*

 

[tryingin2013]

Aw, hugs to you. I appreciate the rant too. I feel the same way, disappointing my other half. I do have children from a different man, so I feel greedy in a way, but we want one together, and it isn't happening. I know he feels like I was able to do it for another man, why not him. He acts nonchalant for the most part, like it doesn't matter either way. I know this is not the case. I find it so sweet when he asks if I'm going to make us a baby, but also, the feelings of inadequacy. I think it just comes with the territory.

I'm wishing and hoping with all my might for you and your DH. Good luck on your journey.

Thanks for the cookies!

 

[bdcrossley]

you sound just like me. I hate having to watch everyone else around me have babies and look at babies or women with pregnant bellies shopping and rubbing them. Everytime I see one I cry. And yet again here I am cycle 6 after 3 years ttc (but 6 cycles w meds) and still nada. so I know exactly what you mean. I never thought someone could have as many tears as I have shed. Im sorry you take it so hard but all we can do is keep pushing on and learning more about our bodies and at least when af shows you know you have a second chance. I hate the tww when I already know at the end of it nothing is going to be there. Cheer up buttercup

 

[Babycakes7]

I had the same experience for the first time today. I feel that i am angry and jelous of everyone around me getting pregnant and having babies when i just want one! My period showed up 5 days early so i didnt even make it to my test day. I hate that so many people who dont want babies stand next to someone and end up pregnant. Not fair....

 

[Evies_mummy]

another day and another facebook announcement of a birth and loads of pics to accompany it :'(

Things are still not great between me and hubs, he is working so much and i'm really feeling stressed about ttc. we haven't had a proper chat in 4 days now cos he just doesn't want to talk. He'll be home soon, but i've had a migraine today and just feel tearful and exhausted, but still hopeful we'll have a little talk before we fall asleep.

I'm really liking this forum as i know there are so many other lovely people going through or have been through the same situation x

 

[tillyttc]

hi iam new to this site and suffered a early loss nearly 4 weeks ago due on any day now , we have left trying for one cycle as told to , so heres to ttc in march ! would be nice to have some friends to talk to during the next few weeks ! xx

 

[Apdp1020]

@tillyttc I'm so sorry for you loss. I hope your doing ok. My husband and I are on our 2nd round of clomid we've been trying for about a year I've tested negative this month but still awaiting AF it's always late I just want it to come so we can get next round going. Baby dust for the future!!! 😃😃

 

[tillyttc]

will share my experiences with you all fell pg in 2007 and lost it at fifteen weeks no heart beat ! tried for 3-4 years after not a sniff of a baby , then low and behold fell pg in jan was in shock but over the moon but my happiness ended at a little over 6 weeks ! now we are desperate call it re-newed hope but scared it was a flook !hubby works away only home every 7 weeks we are working his visits round ovulation , I did ovulate 11-13 days ago he wasn't here what a waste ! but have worked out I should ovulate anywhere from the 8-11 in march he will be here yippee lol, ive heard that chaste berry is fantastic for fertility increases the hormone to sustain a pregnancy in the early days and all regulates ovulation ,
thank you for listerning . xx

 

[tillyttc]

thank you Apdp1020, I don't know why its so hard ! my hubby is being fantastic lol hes also on line looking into how he can improve his little swimmers bless changed hes diet and his complete lifestyle and also eating to squares of plain choc a day its fantastic for producing healthy sperm and lots of then lol . x