Anouncing after ltttc: how much to tell

[LoveCakes]

We are planning on telling a few people at Christmas then everyone at 12 weeks. We have been married for 4 years and ttc for over 2 so I expect a few plain or veiled 'were you trying long' questions. No-one knew we were ttc.

I'm not sure if I want to tell everyone as it doesn't really make a difference and it's not their business. The only thing that does make me want to is that I found infertility very isolating and hope I could help others who are secretly struggling.

What is everyone else planning on doing?

 

[Diddy2013]

I'm telling my family Christmas Eve, everyone else at 12 weeks. I was ttc for a year and we didn't tell anyone to avoid all the questions. Good luck, I'm glad you got your bfp!

 

[Amalee]

First off, congratulations! I'm sorry to hear that the wait was so isolating for you, but it's great to read that you'd like to help out others who are having trouble conceiving too.

I haven't dealt with infertility, so I don't have much to offer there. But you're right, it's no ones business - I hope you don't need to deal with many questions like that. I know you didn't ask for advice on what to say, but just in case you're looking for some ideas... One of my co-workers got pregnant after a few years of trying, and her reply was always "Well we've always known we wanted kids, and this was just the right time for us." It was honest without sharing more than she wanted, and I thought it was a great way to put it.

 

[StephtheHiker]

I told my parents cause they asked right away and rest of immediate family and close friends after an early u/s at 8+5. Everyone else will be 12 weeks. I plan on telling people if they ask if it took a while. I was told by doctors last year this would be a long journey if it happened. I was so fortunate it happened so soon and I want to talk about it because it IS so lonely and isolating and it shouldn't be!! Maybe someone I know will take comfort in my story and feel like they can open up and know they aren't alone

 

[LoveCakes]

I know you didn't ask for advice on what to say, but just in case you're looking for some ideas... One of my co-workers got pregnant after a few years of trying, and her reply was always "Well we've always known we wanted kids, and this was just the right time for us." It was honest without sharing more than she wanted, and I thought it was a great way to put it.

I really do appreciate the advice! Thanks for the congratulations as well everyone.

Steph I'm so glad things workied out for you better than expected!

I was thinking for nosey people in work etc... I'd just say "why do you ask?" because I would be curious to know why.

 

[xMissxZoiex]

I was LTTTC for a little under 6 years and currently pregnant with my miracle after IVF I also found infertility isolating too.

No one knows how long we were ttc and only a few people know about our IVF and I'm not going to tell anyone about our struggles when we announce we are pregnant I feel it's very personal and people who have not experienced it in any way (people who were ttc for 3/4 months they know what you have been through) but that's my personal choice, it's great if you can let people know what you went through to help a person who may be going through the same.

If people as if we were trying long I'm just going to tell them well the baby was planned.

Congratulations on your pregnancy xxxx

 

[joeyjo]

I was thinking for nosey people in work etc... I'd just say "why do you ask?" because I would be curious to know why.

Firstly ... Congratulations

I would probably divulge a little but not a warts and all summary - mainly as it may help others.

I would avoid a confrontational (mild or otherwise) response as the questioner, especially if it's a veiled question, may be struggling & looking for hope.

 

[Mommyagain]

We were ttc baby #2 for 3+ years and we told our parents after we got b/w back and it was rising nicely and progesterone was ok. We are planning on telling everyone else after our u/s on Dec. 11 if everything goes ok that day. It is totally up to you Hun when and how much you want to tell people. Infertility sucks and at times I felt extremely isolated as well and found that telling a few close people helped. Congratulations on your little bean!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[patchey]

Congratulations

I told my mom, as soon as I found out, who then told everyone else. DH told his mom who then told everyone else in her family. After trying for 3 years I couldn't hold it in for long especially since everyone knew we were having problems.

 

[xdxxtx]

My OH and I TTC our first for 18 months. When we finally conceived, we told relatives right after we got our BFP and told friends at going on 6 weeks, when we first saw baby's heartbeat. We were just too excited to hold onto the secret.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!! I am so excited for you, especially knowing how it feels to try for a long time...

 

[sun]

Congrats!
We were trying for #1 for 4 years and it was very isolating. No one knew we were trying and we would tell people we weren't having kids just to get them to stop asking about it. So we got lots of questions like "was it an accident, what made you change your mind, etc" I didn't find BnB until I was pregnant so it was only OH and I. We told people at 13 weeks. Congrats to all you LTTCers who are now expecting! xo

 

[bettybee1]

Congratulations !! Honestly I would tell people how long you tried and what you took too become pregnant becoz end off the day people will be supportive and if you ever struggle ttc2. You will have abit of support there just been able too vent off too people sometimes and some people will be more considerate !! X

 

[george83]

Congratulations on your bfp it must feel so unreal after all that time. I know it's a completely different situation and I don't want to bring you down by talking about them but I suffered a mc earlier this year and found that incredibly isolating so decided once we'd conceived our rainbow I would tell people about our loss just do that other people who go through it know they aren't alone and lots of people have opened up about their own experiences. I'm sure you won't want to tell everybody all the details but if it helps just one person like you say then I think it's worth it x x