Anovulatory Cycles

[Indigo77]

I don't know why I am so terrified of it.

Probably because it is scary....it's a leap of faith....but so is ttc....i was terrified of ttc, being pregnant, and giving birth....but BnB has helped....maybe find an adoption board and see how it feels?

I have been on a few adoption boards and it really wasn't a good fit for me. Maybe being adopted makes my views a little different, but I have some opinions on the subject that don't usually sit well with other prospective adopters, lol.

So, I just kept my mouth shut.

Why keep your mouth shut?
They should have your perspective.....it may make them better moms....even if it doesn't sit well for them at first...

 

[dachsundmom]

I have found everyone here to be very open minded, which is why I don't mind putting my opinions out there. But, when it comes to adoption, for a lot of couples, it's the choice that was made when all else failed, and emotions can run very, very high.

DH says my opinions on adoption are very unique, lol.

 

[dachsundmom]

If we did decide to adopt, I'd like to give an older child a home.

 

[Indigo77]

If we did decide to adopt, I'd like to give an older child a home.

That's awesome....what age?

 

[dachsundmom]

If we did decide to adopt, I'd like to give an older child a home.

That's awesome....what age?

Probably no younger than three; I don't mean to sound unfeeling, but babies are in demand. Older children, especially older minority children, have a harder time finding a permanent home. So, if we are going to go down this road, I'd like to take a child or siblings, that might have a more difficult road in front of them.

My state is not the most favorable, however when it comes to adoption...but, that is a whole other argument, lol.

 

[Indigo77]

If we did decide to adopt, I'd like to give an older child a home.

That's awesome....what age?

Probably no younger than three; I don't mean to sound unfeeling, but babies are in demand. Older children, especially older minority children, have a harder time finding a permanent home. So, if we are going to go down this road, I'd like to take a child or siblings, that might have a more difficult road in front of them.

My state is not the most favorable, however when it comes to adoption...but, that is a whole other argument, lol.

You don't sound unfeeling at all....you sound unselfish and you have the perfect mindset for adoption...How does your DH feel about it?

 

[dachsundmom]

If we did decide to adopt, I'd like to give an older child a home.

That's awesome....what age?

Probably no younger than three; I don't mean to sound unfeeling, but babies are in demand. Older children, especially older minority children, have a harder time finding a permanent home. So, if we are going to go down this road, I'd like to take a child or siblings, that might have a more difficult road in front of them.

My state is not the most favorable, however when it comes to adoption...but, that is a whole other argument, lol.

You don't sound unfeeling at all....you sound unselfish and you have the perfect mindset for adoption...How does your DH feel about it?

He's fine with it either way. His aunt was adopted when she was 2, so it really doesn't phase him one way or the other. He is concerned about taking in siblings, but I think those kids need it most; I cannot stand the thought of kids getting separated from each other or being forced to stay in the system bc there is more than one. We are both up to fostering, but that leads into my fears about adoption.

I need to be honest, I am afraid of open adoption, even though it is how most are done these days.

 

[Junebug_CJ]

We got my youngest sister first when she was 2. Then their birth mom decided to also send her oldest to us, thinking she'd have more opportunities in Canada and that she could be with her biological sister. So we adopted her when she was 5 (and the youngest was 4). My parents were also looking at helping children by adopting older ones. I think that your views would be very well appreciated by me

 

[dachsundmom]

We got my youngest sister first when she was 2. Then their birth mom decided to also send her oldest to us, thinking she'd have more opportunities in Canada and that she could be with her biological sister. So we adopted her when she was 5 (and the youngest was 4). My parents were also looking at helping children by adopting older ones. I think that your views would be very well appreciated by me

My DD is 14 and getting ready to go into high school. I also see an older child and bridging the gap between her and the LO we hope to have also. But, if a teenager landed on my doorstep and we were all a good fit, I am ok with that too; we'll just be thinking college instead of preschool, lol.

 

[Indigo77]

I really think the open adoption arrangement is what is best for the child...My sister and her husband are going for open adoption....If you adopt from abroad, I imagine there will be more distance in such an arrangement....

Fostering is a whole other animal...

 

[dachsundmom]

I really think the open adoption arrangement is what is best for the child...My sister and her husband are going for open adoption....If you adopt from abroad, I imagine there will be more distance in such an arrangement....

Fostering is a whole other animal....We did it for a while years ago....We mostly did emergency recieving, but we did have one that was with us for a year...5 months old - 18 months old....and when he went back it was BRUTAL....for us, and even moreso for him.....heartbreaking and still impossible to get over....He was our son for a year and then he went back to a life without stability, a life of drugs, parents and siblings in and out of jail, etc....He went back feeling abandoned by us....it's just impossible to fathom unless you've been through it....you greive as if there was a death, but you don't know if he is even safe and there is no closure....Like I said....fostering is a whole other animal...

I think you are probably right when it comes to open adoption; my fear of it is personal. I never had any chance of knowing who my birth parents were, so I never doubted for a minute that I wasn't where I belonged. It could be that bc I don't look anything like my family, there was never any question on whether or not I was adopted. I know it is silly and selfish. I have often wondered about my birth mother and I have hopes for her, but I know in my heart I am probably way off the mark on it.

I am so sorry about your fostering experience and I cannot for one minute imagine the pain you went through.

 

[Indigo77]

It's not silly and selfish.....

 

[happy_chaos]

Well yay for Asian adoptions! Everyone I know or talk to that has done an Asian adoption always has girls; I had hoped that the fate of little girls had gotten better over the years, but it always seems just the opposite. Sorry for the downer, just had a moment, lol.

Well we have 2 Asian boys (in my avatar) another boy waiting - 3 boys and 3 girls .. all 6 Asian. love it! There are so many boys waiting too.

I think now they have so many special needs (not as we see it in the states) by far. All of ours are from that program but so healthy and perfect. The young as possible girl in China wait is up to 5+ years now. Yup! There aren't as many placed now.

 

[happy_chaos]

I don't know why I am so terrified of it.

Probably because it is scary....it's a leap of faith....but so is ttc....i was terrified of ttc, being pregnant, and giving birth....but BnB has helped....maybe find an adoption board and see how it feels?

Oh jumping to adopt is sooo easy for us. Six since 2003. I'd go again after this one waiting there for us if we were rich. but, I'd love a bio in about a year and half. Just show me a photo and I'll begin paperchasing again at a drop of a hat. No biggie!

 

[happy_chaos]

If we did decide to adopt, I'd like to give an older child a home.

That's awesome....what age?

Probably no younger than three; I don't mean to sound unfeeling, but babies are in demand. Older children, especially older minority children, have a harder time finding a permanent home. So, if we are going to go down this road, I'd like to take a child or siblings, that might have a more difficult road in front of them.

My state is not the most favorable, however when it comes to adoption...but, that is a whole other argument, lol.

Older adoption is great in my opinion. We adopted 4 of ours that were 2.5 at adoption (not at the same time) and 1 was six y/o and the waiting son is 10. And for us, we didn't TTC anymore until we had these home. We chose adoption first (well we had 3 bios forever ago - they are grown). Yes, babies are in high demand. We basically looked to see which ones weren't being chosen because they had a "medical diagnosis" and asked for those we saw would fit well here and us for them. I hate seeing kids being picked over. Honestly, I think ours are completely perfect even if I do have so many surgeons and specialists I have to carry a 3 ring binder to keep it all straight.