Anxiety Disorder + TTC #1

[edenthel]

Are you dealing with an anxiety disorder, or other mental health challenges while TTC? If so, I would love to chat and be your buddy!

 

[margeandmom]

Hi Edenthel! I know you posted this a few weeks ago, just saw it today! I'm trying TTC #1 and suffer with mental health issues! I'm definitely looking for a buddy if you're still interested!

 

[Scholar]

Hey ladies! I suffer from a mood disorder and am TTC let get through this together!
I saw my psychiatrist today and I didn't like her opinions on the medication causing irregular periods (which makes TTC hard obviously) nor was I impressed while she googled current research on my medication and pregnancy. So I'm thinking of kicking the meds..

What do you guys think?
Do your medications mess with your cycles and do you think they are pregnancy friendly?


8 days late (no af yet!)
TTC since December 2016

 

[margeandmom]

Thanks for replying Scholar!!

YAY for my first ever thread!!

Hmmm... I'm meeting with my psychiatrist today too.

I am not sure about medications effecting ovulation / periods. Never heard of anything to that effect, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen!

ALSO: I am now a BIG fan of second opinions in regards to doctors. I just had the most frustrating experience. My psychiatrist has been keeping me at a low dose of one of my meds 75mg (I used to be on a higher dose 150mg) and I knew it wasn't working and kept asking her if we could go up. She said no because "side effects." But when I met with my OBGYN, she said that my medication doesn't even become effective until 150mg!! She had me go up and I immediately felt better. Now I am pissed that I was on an ineffective dose for a whole year (it ended up being an unnecessarily stressful year). I really wish I would have gotten a second opinion earlier!!

As for going off, it all depends on how you think you'd handle it.

I have tried twice now to go off all my medications for pregnancy purposes, and both times it has ended in total meltdown-level failure. I have finally concluded that, for me, it simply isn't an option

There may be some risks, but I've had to weigh that against my alternative -- to not sleep (AT ALL) and become a barely-functioning sleep deprived zombie.

How do you function without meds, Scholar?

 

[Scholar]

I get manic, I have mania basically. But it's not as bad as it was earlier in college. I'm beginning to think my disorder is mind over matter. I really don't feel quite different on meds just able to think clearer. Maybe I should try yoga ( bad mental illness joke)

Pharmacists says the meds are class C minimal risk but I'm not sure I like that at all, if I can go without meds I'd like to.

Marg how bad was your episode off medication? Your dose is really low which could mean less adverse symptoms

 

[TTCfirstovr30]

Hi edenthel, Thank you for starting a thread like this. It is not really spoken about and great to hear and share each other experiences.

I am currently feeling like I am going through this alone because I don't know anyone else with a condition similar to mine. I am bipolar and need to be on my meds otherwise I go into "mania mode." You know you think everything is great and fine when you are on your meds and I know for me, its like, "I don't need the meds." Then I go off them and I usually have a melt down within 3-6 months and realize, yeah I need those meds.

Anywhooo I finally got my cocktail right, thanks to a no BS doctor. I needed a lot of help TTC and am now expecting #1. So, It is totally doable!

I made the decision that I didnt want to take my meds while pregnant because of the risks it could potentially have on the baby. I regularly meet with my therapist, and so far so good.

I will say that some days are a lot harder than others. But for the most part they are good days.

 

[margeandmom]

Thanks for saying that TTC, that's exactly how I was feeling. Very "alone" in the TTC journey. It initially like most people don't have to deal with the ethical dilemmas around "staying on" vs. "staying off" medications. It has been hard to weigh the "small risk of birth defects" vs. "depressed mom risks" too. But it's very nice to know that many others struggle with similar issues!

That's very impressive that you are staying off meds! Very impressive! Sounds like you've got a good team of doctors and therapists to help you.

Scholar -- my "non-med episodes" usually manifest in NO or little sleep. I have major depression + anxiety + ADHD + PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), and it took me many years and the right doctors to find the right medications. Without them I just cannot shut my brain off, I guess. I'm on two anti-depressents, plus Seroquel. The only med that seems to really help me sleep is Seroquel, which is the one that doctors had wanted me to originally get off because of increased risk of Gestational Diabetes.

But the real problem with my sleep deprivation is FREAKS my husband out. He has a lot of trauma from past years when I didn't sleep for months and eventually had to be hospitalized. He gets so worried, which is sweet, but also really hard because he blames himself and them becomes depressed himself. And then I become MORE depressed. Vicious cycle!

Last month my lack of sleep stressed him out so much that he finally was like "if we can't find a way to manage the sleep, I don't think we should have a baby. Because a baby will be constantly keeping you up. And I don't want you lose you." It was really hard to hear. He's right though. So that's what led me to decide that I am going to stay on Seroquel despite the risks. Plus one of my antidepressants too.

I've now talked to my OBGYN and my psychiatrist and they are generally in agreement.

I'm hoping and praying that me being "very happy" during pregnancy will outweigh the potential risks to the baby.

 

[margeandmom]

That second sentence is supposed to start out "I initially thought that..." instead of "I initially like"...

Sorry I couldn't figure out how to edit the post!

 

[TTCfirstovr30]

margeandmom - I think that sounds like the best option for what is good for you and what is ultimately good for a baby. My DH is just like your DH in the fact that any signs of me getting depressed he starts to get really freaked out, and then that in turn gets me really anxious and freaks me out. But we work through it and get the doctors involved when need be.

It helps to have doctors on board and supportive of your decisions.

The potential risks to baby are very minimal and you also have to keep your well-being in mind.

I know for me, as soon as that baby is out I am going back on my meds that very day. I discussed breast feeding but the risk of me being off my medication for that long just isn't worth it for breastfeeding for me.

 

[Babydust1234]

Hey girls. I suffer with generalised anxiety disorder and am ttc number one. It's nice to see other people in a good way of course to know how difficult it can be. Always here if any one needs a chat x

 

[margeandmom]

So sorry for the delay on my response, TTC!

Thank you for your very kind words. It was nice to hear what you said. I am always imagining harsh things that people think (even though I've never actually heard anyone say them) about meds and pregs (I just came up with that lol.)

And hello Babydust!! Glad to hear from you

 

[happycupcake]

I too suffer with generalised anxiety disorder, PTSD, and am also on the autism spectrum

 

[meg_bellamy]

Hi girls

This is something I went through while ttc #1. I have anxiety and depression (have for years) and have taken anti-depressants for years. While waiting to ttc I spoke to a couple drs and got put on lexapro as they said that was fine to take. Of course I googled heaps and I think it's a 'c' class drug as many are. Anyway when you google you will find horror stories with everything, I think you just have to weigh up the benefits vs risks and listen to your dr.

We fell pg first month trying and I continued with the lexapro through the whole pg and am still taking it ttc no. 2.

I knew I was a high risk for antenatal and postnatal depression and every dr and ob I spoke to during my pg told me to stay on the meds and no-one was judgmental AT ALL.

I had no problems with anxiety/depression through pg or postnatally, no problems with bf, I love being a mum. Your mental health is very important through this process. Just find supportive drs/ midwives to look after you and be open and you will be fine. There are so many pg women taking anti-depressants, it's very common.

 

[smurphy90]

Hi ladies, I just saw this thread and thought I'd pop in.

I have generalized anxiety disorder and bipolar 2. Fortunately, all of the meds that I am currently on shouldn't interfere with TTC (though I should obviously wean off of them if I get a BFP.) That said, as a side effect of the bipolar, I also get insomnia, for which my doctor had me on a low dose of Seroquel (50-100mg.) I believe that really messed up my current cycle.

I have an insanely bad history of cycles over the past two years. When I was diagnosed with bipolar, I was put on Trileptal in Oct 2014. In Jan '15, I stopped having periods, despite being on BCPs. My GP then told me that the two medications can interfere with each other and diagnosed me with PCOS, based on some blood tests and the fact that developing PCOS is a know side-effect of the drug. The Trileptal was working at the time, and I didn't want to TTC anytime soon, so I stayed on it. I got Paraguard (copper IUD) in Feb '15. Even though it was non-hormonal I still wouldn't get another period for 14 months.

I moved to Germany in July '15, and when my meds ran out in September, I had to switch to Depakote, because Trileptal isn't available in Germany. I had a TERRIBLE time on this. I was almost hospitalized, but I refused. I went off it in late November '15, and then began Lamitrogen, which has been a god send.

In April '16, I had one AF, which was totally unexpected, and it was the only one I'd have for several more months until Oct '16. In Aug '16, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and began medications mid-August. Oct 10th, I had AF. I had another AF 50ish days later at the end of November.

They stopped again, though and I'm one CD 81. I highly suspect the Seroquel, as it was the only thing that had changed. I began temping one month ago, and one week after I discontinued Seroquel, FF said I had ovulated (and my temps certainly look like I have.) I'm praying the medication truly was the culprit of this awful cycle.


Sorry for the book, but a bunch sort of interrelates and I wanted to give the experiences with meds. So... I'd be wary of things like Depakote, Trileptal, and Seroquel, if you can find an alternative. But that's my personal experience.

Current Meds:
Metformin 2000mg (PCOS; began Feb '14)
Lamotrigine 200mg (Bipolar II; began Dec '15)
Levothyrox 50mg (Hypothyroid; began Aug '16)
Opipramol 200mg (GAD; began Jan '17)

 

[happycupcake]

Smurphy, may I ask if you were checked out for your thyroid before they made the bipolar diagnosis? I ask because thyroid problems can mimic bipolar extremely closely and hasn't been uncommon for misdiagnosis to be made before. Not saying they misdiagnosed you, but I am curious.
I was misdiagnosed with bipolar years ago but it was due to a rubbish psychiatrist who didn't listen or look at my history.

I didn't take any meds with my first child, with my second and third I took diazepam on and off, because of anxiety. They did offer me various other things but I refused because I was paranoid and didn't trust anyone, but to be honest I don't think I actually needed what they were offering me anyway. They were antipsychotics, and I didn't need them. Taking diazepam isn't ideal in pregnancy, especially during the third tri because of dependency and baby can obviously go through withdrawal, but my children thankfully didn't and I think this was due to me not taking them like clockwork - only on an as and when absolutely necessary basis

 

[smurphy90]

Smurphy, may I ask if you were checked out for your thyroid before they made the bipolar diagnosis? I ask because thyroid problems can mimic bipolar extremely closely and hasn't been uncommon for misdiagnosis to be made before. Not saying they misdiagnosed you, but I am curious.
I was misdiagnosed with bipolar years ago but it was due to a rubbish psychiatrist who didn't listen or look at my history.

My bipolar problems predate my thyroid problems by about 10 years. Relatively frequent blood checks throughout the years show the thyroid only became an issue in the last 1.5 years. I didn't know about it sooner because my psychiatrists in the U.S. always mentioned any red flags in blood work, so I stupidly assumed my first one in Berlin would. Apparently she only ever looked at two things (liver enzymes and medication concentration) despite the fact that she checked run-of-the-mill things, like TSH each time as well. It wasn't until months later that I requested copies of my blood work to take to my GP that I saw it had steadily started to climb nearly a year before.

I ended up getting a new psychiatrist anyway. She stopped all of my meds from the U.S., gave me a "rough-equivalent" to my mood stabilizer and absolutely refused anxiety medication. I went along with it for 6 months, while we waited to see what effect the mood stabilizer had, but even after it was clear that they wouldn't be enough to help the anxiety, she refused.
She told me after 6 months that she "doesn't believe in prescribing mediation for anxiety disorders." I asked if she disagreed with the diagnoses. She said no. She watched my life fall apart because of panic attacks, and insomnia... she wanted to hospitalize me, I had to drop out of grad-school... and all she cared about was the concentration of my freaking bipolar med. She was hardly ever in the office, too, and she lost my blood work 3 times, which was particularly annoying when it took an hour to get to their office. Twice I went to my post-blood test appointments only to have her say, "Well, we don't know where your test results are, so we can't do anything at today's appointment." Found my new psychiatrist in October and he was a freaking god send. He thought she was an idiot, too.

 

[happycupcake]

Wow she absolutely was a complete idiot! Thank God you have someone decent and you aren't stuck with her!

 

[margeandmom]

This makes me so mad to hear stories like this!

Really, not all psychiatrists are created equal.

As a long time sufferer of anxiety-based insomnia, for which nothing works but medications (believe me I have tried every type of "sleep hygiene" imaginable, including running miles and miles every. single. day.), I get so mad when medical professionals that try and force anxious people to forgo medications and "manage it with lifestyle changes."

For some people, it really isn't possible. Their brains simply aren't wired that way.

 

[meg_bellamy]

You're so right margeandmom. My sister is actually a psychologist and really disapproves of me being on medication long term. She believes you should only be on medication for a short period and CBT is more effective. I believe I have chemical imbalances and CBT does nothing.

 

[smurphy90]

Agreed ladies. These things are chemical imbalances, and they often can't be controlled without medications. I also have bad insomnia because of anxiety, marge. It's so annoying, especially since it makes your health (mental and physical) even worse, just from not being able to sleep. It's like an endless loop. I actually had my sleep under control, but I dropped my sleep med a month ago because it was messing with my cycles and now I've having really bad insomnia again. =/

I do totally understand urging your patients to explore therapy. In the past, I found the mix of the two to be amazing. But I think when you've had years of experience with a disorder, you become pretty aware of what can be helped with therapy and what can't. Even if it's something that could be helped along with therapy, that will take a lot of time and they should be willing to help along the way, if needed. In cases like mine, I needed immediate help. I knew from past experience which things weren't able to be helped (from the BEST therapist I've ever met) so when she finally told me she would never even consider medication for anxiety, I walked out. I wasn't wasting anymore time with a doctor who wasn't hearing me.