Anxiety Tips?

[inthemoment]

Hi there! I thought I'd introduce myself, as I've just joined the site. I'm pregnant with our 6th try, with three chemicals and two 10wk m/cs behind us, the last one only 4 months ago. I'm turning 39 on Tuesday (also, ironically, the date of my first ultrasound) and my husband is 47, so we're feeling the window closing rapidly. I had about two full days of massive panic attacks when I got the first positive with this one, and I've been working really, really hard to stay in the moment and just be present with this bean without letting his/her lost brothers and sisters crowding him/her out. I've actually avoided joining any forum sites this time because I tend to obsess about numbers, but it seemed like a nice thing to just get a little extra support. I opted this time not to go to my regular OB and do the endless series of beta draws she generally puts me through, because frankly knowing the numbers has never kept any of the others alive and it only causes me exponentially more anxiety. So I'm working with a full-spectrum doula (for those of you who don't know what that is, it's someone who attends pregnancies whatever the outcome, be it live birth or miscarriage, under the principle that a pregnancy is a pregnancy no matter what and therefore deserves equal attention - a totally revolutionary idea here in the states where you basically cease to exist in the eyes of the medical field after you miscarry) and getting lots of help with anxiety, but it's still there. Does anyone have any really successful tips for how to go with the flow after many miscarriages?

 

[VGirl]

I'm so sorry about your losses. First trimester is so scary and long as it is and you have this added anxiety. I struggle with it myself and the only thing that helps me daily is my fetal Doppler. I listen to a baby daily, for a few seconds or so, but it's massive relief. I also have a psychologist but maybe because I see her only once in 3 weeks it's not helping me as much as I hoped. I take it one day at the time, good or bad. We are very cautious and didn't even tell out parents yet (different countries). We hardly discussed any names and I haven't bought a single thing for a baby. We kind of realize it can go either way but it's not in my power to guarantee a baby in the end. It's the only way I can cope with uncertainty. Good luck and I hope you manage to enjoy this difficult but also exciting time