Any advice I feel like I'm falling apart!

[wannabmum]

Sorry to bother you guys but I don't know where else to turn I can't stop crying, as some of you know OH and I had appointment at hosptital for sperm count today so took sample in came home everything seemed fine then I got a phone call, I answered it it was the hospital they said there is a problem so I asked what it was she replied there is NO sperm in your partners ejaculate, I just had to tell him this and it broke my heart its raised him askind questions is his dd from past relashionship even his he questioned this before as the mother was sleeping about but had just kinda dropped it, I told him eaither way he is still her dad and that doesnt change. I just feel like I'm falling apart and I dont know what to do

xxx

 

[LynnieH]

Don't know wat to say so I will just send

 

[Wobbles]

Oh sweetie I really don't know what to say that could make it better as one of the things that has now been questioned on the result I think your OH needs to get confirmation of his DD from previous relationship when hes ready to do so.

Have they given youa further appointment to discuss the results? I am very surprised they told you over the phone.

 

[wannabmum]

They are sending me out an appointment for next month she wasn't going to tell me on the phone but I asked so she just asked few security questions then told me I feel low numb and just cant explain, oh got upset and started talking bout it bn his fault and maybe he should leave me cause he couldnt give me what I wanted and he didn't wanna make me unhappy I told him I want him and that we will get threw this together sorry if I'm no making much sence just cant pull myself together.

xx

 

[Wobbles]

Your making sense & hun if your not so what?

Bless you both I'm nearly speechless for you ... I have no info but will have a look x

 

[Helen]

Oh, what a nightmare

It is possible that DD is still your OH's. It could be that he's had some sort of virus or something that has affected his sperm production since he had her. That's what they think happened to DH. He had a cancer scare a few years back cos his balls were aching. He got that all clear for the big C, but the fertility specialists say looking back it could've been a virus and that caused him permanent damage.

They should test your OH again anyway. Sometimes the tests give false results because of the delay in getting them to hospital and then any subsequent delay at their end, plus any change in temperature. We had two done like that and when we saw a specialist afterwards he pretty much said it was a waste of time. You can pay to have a private test done (our specialist referred us), I think it was about £70, which would mean him producing a sample at a fertility clinic. These are generally considered a lot more accurate.

I agree with Wobbles. Isn't it incredible that they'd give you devastating news like this over the phone. They did with us too. Why, why, why don't the medical profession consider the psychological effects of infertility! *gets off soapbox*

Get back to see your GP as soon as you can. Big

 

[Wobbles]

Some info I found:

In some cases there is no sperm in the ejaculate so surgical options for sperm retrieval are explored. Advanced sperm retrieval techniques, including TESA, PESA testicular microdissection and testicular biopsy, combined with IVF and ICSI, now allow men with either a low sperm count or no sperm in their ejaculate the chance to produce a child.

• Testicular biopsy - an in-office surgical procedure in which several small pieces of testicular tissue are removed and examined for sperm which can be used in fertility procedures
• Testicular sperm aspiration (TESA) - a needle biopsy of the testicle in which a sample of tissue is taken directly from the testis and used to extract sperm for IVF or ICSI
• Percutaneous sperm aspiration (PESA) - a procedure involving a needle inserted into the epididymis in an effort to locate and aspirate a pocket of sperm
• Testicular microdissection - involves careful surgical intervention in the testicle to locate any areas of potentially active spermatogenesis. This allows minimal extraction of testicular tissue which minimizes the risk of permanent damage to the testicles.

For some couples, the use of donor sperm remains the best option for building a family. Obviously, donor sperm is the only option for men whose testicular biopsy reveals complete azoospermia - no trace of sperm in the testicular tissue. The use of donor sperm may also be considered when genetic screening indicates a possibility of passing on hereditary conditions such as cystic fibrosis to male offspring. An increased understanding of male factor infertility and the recent advances made in assisted sperm retrieval techniques are now giving men who never thought they could have biological offspring the chance to father a child. Successful fertility outcomes at Georgia Reproductive Specialists result from a combination of technological advances, scientific expertise and consistent andrology laboratory standards.

A good website: https://www.carefertilityweb.co.uk

>> Helen were you given wrong results?

 

[Helen]

>> Helen were you given wrong results?

We don't know that they were wrong, but all 3 results were different which could happen anyway. They were sufficiently similar to know what our options were, but that's why we ended up doing so many to try and get a conclusive result.

They did that sperm retrieval procedure (I think it was TESA) on the Robert Winston programme last year on IVF - a Child Against All Odds.

 

[wannabmum]

Thanks for all the advice guys , I don't know what to do on this front and was hoping for some of your opinions, I called bk hospital and they agreed to another seman check they say they will send me out an appointment for next month sometime, but I'm scared will get the letter in 3 weeks and the appointment 4 weeks after that n the results a week after that if you know what I mean its all the waiting and 'what if's' I have contacted a private clinic and they could c me next thurs but it would cost £155 for the consultation + £110 to check sperm what would you do?

xxx

 

[Layla]

So sorry your going through this

x

 

[Imi]

Its up to you hun, if you feel you would get better results going private then do so ...

Im sorry to hear your news hun
xxx

 

[Helen]

Did your GP send you to the hospital for your first test? If so, it might be worth going back to see him first and see what he suggests. At least you should be able to see him in the next couple of days. He might be able to speed things up for you or recommend a different (cheaper) clinic for the test.

 

[wannabmum]

The only problem with that is that we moved here in dec tried to get gp all they're books were full I had to write away to the NHS to get allocated somewhere but am still no further forward so basicly I have no gp, I have to deal everything direct with hospital and anytime I phone I'm made to feel like I'm inconvinence to them, I get brushed of as not a priority because of my age but what about the mental effect it has on us

xxx

 

[Wobbles]

I think if you can afford to go the private route its an option you both should strongly think about. NHS waiting times can sometimes be the most painful part of the journey

 

[wannabmum]

Private definatly will be the route we take just gotta go and find out our options, OH and I had a proper talk earlier I assured him how much I love him and that he is the most important thing to me I despartly want a family but one that he will b part of please all keep your fingers crossed that we can still have kids of our own just with help we are hoping this will b the case but have also talked about if we can'tand have agreed we would go with adoption in this case,he feels uncomfertable of the thought of me bn pg by a doner n I have decided if I can't have his babies then that is the best route, Dont get me wrong I still feel so strange,numb, I thought I had a problem never expected anything with him certainly not this fell asleep a bit ago just woke up think just because bn crying all day, we will get there just not sure how yet. Thank you all for your support don't know how I would've coped today without you.

Stacey xxx

 

[Wobbles]

There are a few options over time I'm sure sweetie, thoughts may change as time goes on. Take it easy if you can Each day as it comes.

Its good you can both go private & agree on things like this & more so that you both know nomatter what you love each other & that matters so much which will make you stronger I think

Here for you day or night x

 

[miss maternal]

my uncle couldnt produce so my aunty and uncle adopted two lovely children. I think it is a lovely idea to adopt. x

 

[Amanda]

OMG hunnie, I can't believe they told you this over the phone.

As the others have said though, you need to get a second opinion. If it was me, I would pay for a private test, but one referrred from a GP.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

 

[FJL]

I'm so sorry to hear your devestating results

I'll send you a pm now