Any advice?

[beth_terri]

I haven't been with my girlfriend very long but I know she desperately wants a baby of her own. However she has completely ruled it out as she's scared of failing. She has it in her head she will fail to fall pregnant, fail to be a good mum (she is soo amazing with my children) etc. Then when it was brought up in conversation at work yesterday, a silly immature girl literally laughed in her face at the thought of her carrying a baby and being a mum! Sam came home and pretty much cried all night because of it and its made her think the thought of her having a baby was a completely stupid idea and that people just think shes some sort of joke. 'How can a lesbian have a baby etc'.

I've told her ill support whatever decision she makes but that I would love for her to have a baby one day. It doesn't have to be any time soon but I would love for it to happen one day. I know that it will break her to never have her own and I hate the fact that she feels like this.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar and how did you overcome it?

X

 

[chickenlegs]

I think it is fairly common to be honest. The process of conception is so much more complicated, so much more intense and depending on the route that you take (we went for IVF) takes so bloody long! So I think it is natural to convince yourself it wont happen. You can ever go for the NTNP route which makes it hard. We were lucky - we got pregnant first time but I am VERY aware of the feeling that it would never happen and we would never have a kid.
As far as being a crap mum, it is possibly hard because you have done it before and she hasn't - Jac and I were in the same position as far as first time parents so it wasn't quite as scary. We were both utterly clueless! But as long as you are supportive, she should get over that with time. I don't know if that is any help, just that it was never that one of us was having a baby and the other wasn't - we were both 100% in it together every step of the way and that helped with it being a joint process with us both becoming mums even though we didn't both literally give birth. Hope that helps - not sure as it will but kind of wanted to say something!