Any BF pro's that could offer some advice?

[MrsH1984]

Hi ladies, I posted this message on the sticky thread for BF support, but nobody has been in the thread! Was just wondering if any BF mums could offer some advice?! Thank you in advance, the original post is below...

Hi, wondering if someone could offer me some advice and some support?! I gave birth to my second lo 15 days ago and have been ebf since. I couldn't get my first lo to latch so pumped for a while but only lasted 3 weeks, but as I didn't bf I don't really have much confidence and am. Instantly questioning myself/ my body etc!!

Anyways, I have a couple of questions if somebody would offer me any wisdom...

In the early days, my MW told me that if my lb turned his head or moved it I the side etc I should in-latch and re-latch as he would most certainly be not latched correctly! Well he still does this now but then he carries on sucking and appears to be swallowing still etc?! My question is, when they get used to it a bit are they able to move around and maintain a good latch? I find it very difficult (well stressful really, but mostly when out) to keep taking him off and putting him back on!

Also, as he is my second (have a 2.5 yo), and my husband has now gone back to work, it's near on impossible to feed 100% on demand! I mean, how do you continue with feeding exactly when the hunger cues start when you have places to get to, school runs to do, a lg to care for and a house to keep?? I have found the last 2 days that I've been offering him a quick feed of one boob before we go anywhere if I think he might want a feed soon, or if he wants feeding just as we were about to leave to go somewhere, I'll offer him one boob until we get home etc?! I just feel that as I'm not playing by the rule book I might be hindering his feeding and/ or my supply?!

Does anyone have any advice or tips on how to manage bf whilst carrying on with our family life, and for juggling it around a toddler? Thank you in advance and sorry for the long post xxx

 

[Mrs HM]

I'm not a pro by any means but I fed my DS for a year and I'm 3 weeks in with my DD, so I'll give you my opinion for what it's worth.

In terms of the latch - if your baby turns or moves his head and appears to be feeding well, it's not hurting you and they aren't getting lots of wind I wouldn't bother to relatch. My DS always lay on his back and turned just his head when we fed lying down and we never had a problem, although I was told many times we should be tummy-to-tummy. Trust yourself and your baby and believe that if you aren't having problems its fine not to follow all the bf 'rules'.

In terms of feeding on demand and managing a toddler/life etc I do what you do which is just my best! It hasn't harmed my supply and it just sometimes means my DD has to cry for a few minutes while I see to my toddler. I'd love to be able to respond to them both right away but it just isn't possible!

 

[Mrs HM]

Oh and for a tip, I'd get a wrap (I've got a moby wrap) to enable you to keep your baby close while still playing with your toddler.

 

[MrsH1984]

Thank you so much!! It helps to know someone else is doing things not quite as the rule book says, I needed to hear it!! With regards to the wind though, my lb has been windy for a while, would that be a result of a bad latch or is it just one of those things where some bf babies do get windy?? He lost 9% of his weight by day 5, and was 3oz back over his birth weight by day 12, so I'd assumed so far that there wasn't anything wrong with his latch, and he's been windy during this time! Our health visitor wasn't concerned when I mentioned he was a windy baby?!

With regards to your oldest, did they get to the point where they could latch themselves??? Or is it that you have to latch a baby/ toddler for as long as you feed? Sorry I'm asking more questions now, but I'm just wondering whether nursing discreetly will ever be achievable!!!

Do you manage to feed in the moby? I have a close caboo (soft structured ring sling type carrier) and a mei tei but I haven't used them yet, I really need to look up the positioning for newborn in the sling!

Thanks again for the help, it's appreciated very much x

 

[Mrs HM]

Thank you so much!! It helps to know someone else is doing things not quite as the rule book says, I needed to hear it!! With regards to the wind though, my lb has been windy for a while, would that be a result of a bad latch or is it just one of those things where some bf babies do get windy?? He lost 9% of his weight by day 5, and was 3oz back over his birth weight by day 12, so I'd assumed so far that there wasn't anything wrong with his latch, and he's been windy during this time! Our health visitor wasn't concerned when I mentioned he was a windy baby?!

With regards to your oldest, did they get to the point where they could latch themselves??? Or is it that you have to latch a baby/ toddler for as long as you feed? Sorry I'm asking more questions now, but I'm just wondering whether nursing discreetly will ever be achievable!!!

Do you manage to feed in the moby? I have a close caboo (soft structured ring sling type carrier) and a mei tei but I haven't used them yet, I really need to look up the positioning for newborn in the sling!

Thanks again for the help, it's appreciated very much x

You are very welcome. I'm glad my post was useful.

Both of my babies have been windy...I guess bf babies can and do suffer too. My DS had colic and I've just given my DD some dentinox colic drops as she is awake and screaming most of the night with wind pains. Your LO's weight loss and gain sounds just perfect so I don't think you should worry too much about the wind coming from a bad latch. I've worked through a bad latch and boy, did my nipples know something wasn't right so as long as everything feels OK, I'd assume it is. You are doing great! For the record - I also never offered the second breast to my DS and I'll feed off the same side several times if it feels full or sore. It mightn't be the right thing to do but my DS is alive and well I'm just feeling my way too!

And yes, my DS did get better at latching and you will get to the point were you pull your top up and they'll just pop themselves on. It's useful when out and about as at the start I find it really difficult to get them on without exposing a lot of my boob! It's funny as they'll know what's coming soon and will get excited to see your boob come out too, which I find so cute!

I also haven't mastered my wrap yet, it's been difficult to find the time to play about with it! So many good intentions and all that! I watched a few youtube films that showed how to feed in a wrap, not sure if I'll ever get round to trying it but I'm sure it would be useful to know how to. It's hard with two LO's, isn't it?!

 

[misspriss]

I was never told to take LO off and relatch him, I only did so if he had a problem getting milk or was hurting me. But we struggled a lot and used nipple shields for the first 10 weeks because he was a preemie.

My LO also wouldn't do tummy to tummy, he wanted to lie on his back and turn his head. It worked for us.

I think you are doing the absolute best you can with 2! I was going to suggest offering a quick feed before you head out, but you are already doing that! I figure if LO is hungry or about to be hungry, he will eat when offered. If they don't, probably not hungry!

 

[MrsH1984]

Thank you so much!! It helps to know someone else is doing things not quite as the rule book says, I needed to hear it!! With regards to the wind though, my lb has been windy for a while, would that be a result of a bad latch or is it just one of those things where some bf babies do get windy?? He lost 9% of his weight by day 5, and was 3oz back over his birth weight by day 12, so I'd assumed so far that there wasn't anything wrong with his latch, and he's been windy during this time! Our health visitor wasn't concerned when I mentioned he was a windy baby?!

With regards to your oldest, did they get to the point where they could latch themselves??? Or is it that you have to latch a baby/ toddler for as long as you feed? Sorry I'm asking more questions now, but I'm just wondering whether nursing discreetly will ever be achievable!!!

Do you manage to feed in the moby? I have a close caboo (soft structured ring sling type carrier) and a mei tei but I haven't used them yet, I really need to look up the positioning for newborn in the sling!

Thanks again for the help, it's appreciated very much x

You are very welcome. I'm glad my post was useful.

Both of my babies have been windy...I guess bf babies can and do suffer too. My DS had colic and I've just given my DD some dentinox colic drops as she is awake and screaming most of the night with wind pains. Your LO's weight loss and gain sounds just perfect so I don't think you should worry too much about the wind coming from a bad latch. I've worked through a bad latch and boy, did my nipples know something wasn't right so as long as everything feels OK, I'd assume it is. You are doing great! For the record - I also never offered the second breast to my DS and I'll feed off the same side several times if it feels full or sore. It mightn't be the right thing to do but my DS is alive and well I'm just feeling my way too!

And yes, my DS did get better at latching and you will get to the point were you pull your top up and they'll just pop themselves on. It's useful when out and about as at the start I find it really difficult to get them on without exposing a lot of my boob! It's funny as they'll know what's coming soon and will get excited to see your boob come out too, which I find so cute!

I also haven't mastered my wrap yet, it's been difficult to find the time to play about with it! So many good intentions and all that! I watched a few youtube films that showed how to feed in a wrap, not sure if I'll ever get round to trying it but I'm sure it would be useful to know how to. It's hard with two LO's, isn't it?!

Obviously I don't like the fact your lo's suffer with wind also, but it's great to hear someone else in a similar situation so I can feel more confident that everything is normal, you know! It really has helped to hear your experiences, so thanks again! I really do keep constantly doubting how things are going with not being successful last time, but it's something I really want to master this time around, especially as he's been able to feed from the start! I just don't want anything to hinder us now or to start us on a downwards spiral!

That's great that you don't always offer both either, as when we 'don't get chance' for both straight away, or he's flat out after one, I do worry! I think it's probably time for me to have a bit of faith in my little man and my body, and relax a bit! Just to keep up with regular weigh ins and go with my instincts of whether he seems right!!! Thanks for the motivation

That is what I was hoping you'd say about them self latching, as I find it that I have to physically get him on there at first (doesn't help that your boobs fill up so much in the early weeks either, so he comes off a bit at first) and feel very exposed! I have got a cover for when out, but do find it a faff so I'm looking forward to the day I can just unclip and away he goes!!

Totally understand re: the wrap, I just haven't found the time to play with the sling and see if he'll feed in it, although I did download the instructions for the nursing carry! It would definitely be useful though, and would probably help with the discreet issue!

Much appreciated mrs HM!! Xx

 

[MrsH1984]

I was never told to take LO off and relatch him, I only did so if he had a problem getting milk or was hurting me. But we struggled a lot and used nipple shields for the first 10 weeks because he was a preemie.

My LO also wouldn't do tummy to tummy, he wanted to lie on his back and turn his head. It worked for us.

I think you are doing the absolute best you can with 2! I was going to suggest offering a quick feed before you head out, but you are already doing that! I figure if LO is hungry or about to be hungry, he will eat when offered. If they don't, probably not hungry!

Thank you! Again it's nice to hear other people do similar. I was just worried about the 'quick feed' with me not offering both (so worrying about hindering supply) and sometimes that pacifies him for a while when really I wanted it to be a quick fix and us to have a proper feed when we get somewhere etc, but hey I suppose if he's gaining weight well and feeding fine when he wants it then I should stop worrying, right? He'll let me know when he's hungry?!

I haven't suffered with sore nipples, so was taking comfort in the fact that all must be ok, but just that bit of doubt always creeps back in! I just want to make sure we are doing everything right so we can continue doing this well! I had one day, a few days in, where my nipples were a bit tender and I'd grit my teeth when he initially latched only, but that passed very quickly! Now they're not sore or chapped at all, and I don't even need the lansinoh anymore! That must mean he's doing ok, right?

Thanks again misspriss xx

 

[misspriss]

I am not sure I did the both boob thing early on, I would just alternate every other feed. Now it's my right more than my left, but it makes more milk and I'm right handed and there is plenty of milk in both LOL

 

[Mummafrog]

Heya I'm new to this breastfeeding thing too personally, but in my line of work I have a lot of experience with it also.

First off, if you are not sore and he is gaining weight, having plenty of wet and dirty nappies, then sounds like it's going perfectly! Have some faith and pride mumma, you're doing super

The only advice I have come across about when to re-latch them is if it is STILL feeling painful after 30-45 seconds, because baby has probably gone on wrong in that case. I haven't heard anything about baby turning to look around, they will start to do that more and more as they grow and get curious but their latch gets stronger to keep them on so I wouldn't worry. Demi has started moving her head more too but she still appears latched correctly or sometimes just needs a little shift and we're fine.
Just keep thinking: Is it hurting? No. Is he doing long sucks and swallows? Is his mouth nice and wide? Yes. Then we are doing it right!

I also have a windy baby, she had bad episodes of screaming with it in the first few days and we started using infacol which has definitely helped, she sometimes fusses and cries a bit when trying to push now but it's not bad and inconsolable like before. In the early weeks I guess they aren't used to passing gas, bless. I've heard from most people that it just improves as their gut gets used to processing milk and it certainly seems that way for us.
I personally think that if you are regularly re-latching baby unecessarily then it might make gas worse because they swallow more air when they are trying to latch on than when they are feeding.

This is my first baby so I can't be much help in the bigger family department, seems you've already got great advice there But I did want to just say that sometimes even I (with one) will offer her the breast without feeding cues just before we're about to go out or whatever to top her up for the car journey. I try to put her back to the same breast once, then offer the second but often she's satisfied from one or sometimes she'll want to go to both breasts twice! Just follow them best you can and I don't think they will be hurt if they get 'topped up' or have to wait a minute sometimes.
I would just say be aware that he is getting the hind milk by fully draining one breast as often as you can and he will take it, that helps them gain plenty of weight and keeps you from getting engorged.

Sorry that was long, I ramble! Hehe, I think you're off to a great start, there is no reason it should fail now

 

[wifey29]

The best thing my HV ever said to me was to read the baby, not the book. I was so worried about doing everything right with my first and no matter how many "correct" positions I tried his latch was never good. This time I'm just doing what works for us. DS2 moves his head around/pulls back etc a lot while feeding, still sucking and swallowing the whole time. If it's not hurting me and he's still gaining weight/having normal nappies I assume that his latch is fine. I also offer a quick feed before we go out, if he wants it great, if not no big deal. Even if he does have a quick "snack" feed he usually makes up for it when we get home anyway. Also, I don't always offer both sides. If he seems satisfied and nods off after one I'm not going to wake him just to try the other. I know it's early for us still, but my supply seems pretty even on both sides.

With regards to latching, mine has just started to be able to latch himself, I just get him in position and he searches out the nipple and latches with no help from me. It's not always perfect and I have to relatch sometimes, but nine times out of ten he gets it great.

Try not to worry too much, it sounds like you're doing fantastically. BFing with a toddler in tow isn't easy, you just have to do the best you can and muddle through.

 

[luna_19]

Sounds like you are doing great

I only have one and I still always offer before going out somewhere (he never turns down a boob ) he was also very gassy in the early days but grew out of it around 3 months

 

[MrsH1984]

Thank you ladies, you really have helped and made me see we probably are doing ok at this!!

Mummafrog: we use infacol too and it seems to help, but that is a good point about re-latching, hopefully it will get a little better then now I'll be leaving him to it a bit!! See, this foremilk/ hindmilk thing gets me confused all over again... how do I know he's reached the good stuff? I've read somewhere that too much foremilk can make them windy?! Now, my boob feels rather 'de-flated' when he's done, but how do I know if he's emptied it?! My boobs are always really full by the time next feed comes (where he gets very fussy latching at first - even had to hand express a bit off yesterday first)!! He also does a sort of gasping noise during feeds sometimes?! Do you think it could have anything to do with my supply volume or let down speed etc and that could have anything to do with wind?

Sorry ladies for all the long posts and further questions, hope you don't mind!!! Thanks again for all the great advice and more so, the encouragement! Xxx

 

[luna_19]

If he is only getting fore milk his poop will be green rather than yellow. Sounds like you might have a bit of overactive letdown which is very normal in the early days. I had it on one side and lo would cough and gasp trying to keep up with the flow, it does contribute to gassiness too because they swallow more air. You can try latching him then taking him off as soon as your letdown starts and spray into a towel before re latching him. Also feeding with him in a more upright position helps

As long as your boob feels noticeably softer after a feed he should be getting it mostly empty.

 

[MrsH1984]

If he is only getting fore milk his poop will be green rather than yellow. Sounds like you might have a bit of overactive letdown which is very normal in the early days. I had it on one side and lo would cough and gasp trying to keep up with the flow, it does contribute to gassiness too because they swallow more air. You can try latching him then taking him off as soon as your letdown starts and spray into a towel before re latching him. Also feeding with him in a more upright position helps

As long as your boob feels noticeably softer after a feed he should be getting it mostly empty.

Thank you Luna! I have noticed that his poo was more green the past say 2 days, but as he still had a bit of a mucousy nose (left from birth), I assumed it was due to that! But that is very good info to know, I'll start recording the colour of them too, and keep an eye! Do I just persevere with the one boob a bit more, to try and ensure he's got the lot?? The MW and health visitor said that if he came off himself and was content, then he'd taken what he wanted from it?! Goodness me breastfeeding is such a minefield!!

You ladies have been brilliant

 

[luna_19]

Yeah I would keep offering the same side a few times in the same feed, if he pops off once maybe he just needed a little break but if he's still hungry and that side is done he will definitely let you know

Oh and occasional green poop is fine it's just a concern if they are all green

 

[MrsH1984]

Yeah I would keep offering the same side a few times in the same feed, if he pops off once maybe he just needed a little break but if he's still hungry and that side is done he will definitely let you know

Oh and occasional green poop is fine it's just a concern if they are all green

Thank you Luna, I will try that from now on! His poos aren't all green, I had just noticed a few of them had been, but they've been yellowy again today! Hopefully all this just clicks in to place soon!!!! Xxx

 

[BigAl]

Honestly it sounds like you are doing a good job. Not easy if it's your first time, and with a toddler too!

Re the draining thing, I think so long as you aren't swapping constantly I think you will be fine. This time I might do the ribbon on the bra strap thing, to help me remember which side I fed off last. I ended up a bit lopsided last time, because I always shoved him on the comfiest side for me. But it really doesn't matter, if they are on the breast they are stimulating your milk supply, and that's all that counts.

It will become easier, and you can just shove them in the general direction of your nipple and they will help themselves. The wind does get easier too, sometimes there is just no reason why, but infacol definitely can't hurt.

Here is a quick link about foremilk\hindmilk

https://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/basics/foremilk-hindmilk/

Good luck.

 

[Mrs HM]

the draining thing, I think so long as you aren't swapping constantly I think you will be fine. This time I might do the ribbon on the bra strap thing, to help me remember which side I fed off last.

I use a bracelet which I swap over after a feed to remind me which side to feed off next!

 

[Mummafrog]

Sorry I didn't reply for a little while, had a busy weekend of visitors!

Glad people have been able to answer, really like that link BigAl (bahaha by the way ;P) posted, right at the end where it says if baby is still actively feeding, I assume as oppose to the irregular comfort sucking they do at the end when they are more full, then it's important not to change breasts but when they have comfort sucked for a while or if they pop off while they are doing that then you can give them a wind and offer the other breast.
My baby has started wriggling more while feeding as I said and if she comes off while she's actively sucking I tend to encourage her to go straight back on which she usually will.

Good tip about the more green coloured poo, I didn't know that! So far hers has been nice and yellow but good to be aware.