any one else put out for their c sec?

[lillmoo]

I was put out, and i feel like i really missed out, as i don't even remember my first cuddle feel horrid about it, anyone else feel the same? four months on and i'm still not over it!

 

[disneyleanne]

This happened to me with my first birth and it affected me too. I don't remember seeing my son for the first time and that upset me badly.
With my second birth, I tried for a vbac but ended up with an emcs and I was awake this time and it made the world of difference. I felt it helped to heal a lot of the upset I felt first time round.

 

[lillmoo]

if i decide to have another baby i'd love to try a vbac, i don't think it was so much the c sec that got to me, it was the not being awake bit! glad it's normal to feel like this, it gets me in tears sometimes, as i feel like i just i missed out on so much

 

[disneyleanne]

In my opinion it's a form of grief. You are mourning the loss of those first precious moments. It's completely understandable. I had many tears about it and it wasn't until my second birth that I was truly able to move past it. It wasn't the c-section that affected me either, it was the fact I didn't remember seeing and holding him.

 

[lillmoo]

In my opinion it's a form of grief. You are mourning the loss of those first precious moments. It's completely understandable. I had many tears about it and it wasn't until my second birth that I was truly able to move past it. It wasn't the c-section that affected me either, it was the fact I didn't remember seeing and holding him.

it's so annoying though as i can remember waking up, and the midwife saying, you've had a boy, how are you going to feed him because he's very hungry, i remember saying i was going to breastfeed, but couldn't move, so the midwife did it for me, but i don't actually remember the feed, it's odd!

 

[izzy29]

Is it routine to be knocked out or is it just depending on the circumstances?

 

[lillmoo]

Is it routine to be knocked out or is it just depending on the circumstances?

depends on the circumstances

 

[Starry Night]

I was knocked out too. And it all happened so fast that DH didn't get to come in either. I guess it happened while he was still getting his scrubs on. Neither one of us was present for our son's birth. I don't feel sad about it though. I just think it's weird. We both kind of laugh about it. Like, when the nurse said, "Here is your son" we both had to be "OK, we're going to take your word on that one".

I don't mean to make light of the situation. I see lots of girls being sad about their C-sections but that just wasn't me. Makes me feel like an odd duck that I laugh about my own experience. I didn't even instantly bond with my DS. It took me a week or two to "fall in love" but when I first saw him I did recognize him as mine and I thought "I'm going to like him". DH said he fell in love right away.

ETA: I guess with my pregnancy being so complicated (almost lost him multiple times right up to delivery) that I was just giddy to have him out safe and sound by any means.

 

[JASMAK]

yes, I had a general for my second. The only child I had post partum depression with too. Someone on BnB once posted a link to an article that women who don't hold their babies right away..their bodies think the baby has died...I actually feel that fits with how I felt. The other two babies were instant bonding too...whereas this baby always felt like more work to bond. 7 years later, I still cry about it.

 

[lillmoo]

I was knocked out too. And it all happened so fast that DH didn't get to come in either. I guess it happened while he was still getting his scrubs on. Neither one of us was present for our son's birth. I don't feel sad about it though. I just think it's weird. We both kind of laugh about it. Like, when the nurse said, "Here is your son" we both had to be "OK, we're going to take your word on that one".

I don't mean to make light of the situation. I see lots of girls being sad about their C-sections but that just wasn't me. Makes me feel like an odd duck that I laugh about my own experience. I didn't even instantly bond with my DS. It took me a week or two to "fall in love" but when I first saw him I did recognize him as mine and I thought "I'm going to like him". DH said he fell in love right away.

ETA: I guess with my pregnancy being so complicated (almost lost him multiple times right up to delivery) that I was just giddy to have him out safe and sound by any means.

i do know what you mean about joking about it, everyone at work was saying they heard i had a horrid labour, but i kept saying no, not really i fell asleep and got given a nice clean baby! lol

 

[Snugggs]

I agree with a previous poster about the grieving process. I certainly grieved for the 2 v-births i never had (and now won't get).
Birth is supposed to be the most natural thing on earth. Our bodies are supposed to react in concession with our pregnancy.... But Nature and my body failed me! Needless to say i struggled BFing too... The second most natural thing failed!
Not only do i grive for the births i didn't get, but i hold a huge burden of guilt for the fact that MY body failed my babies.

I'll be honest, i'm completely devestated about my sections. Both EMCS and both under general anesthetic because of failed spinals once the ops had started. My first baby was 1 week old before i could hold him as he was 10weeks early, but after the first 24 hours he was transfered 150 miles away. but i couldn't travel because i was ill. With my second baby, only being 4 weeks early i could hold him straight away (once they'de woken me up), But i was so out of it on morphine, i don't really remember it....

I know i've had bad experiences, and each to their own, but medical reasons asside, i'll never understand why anyone would opt for a section. It just seems madness!

 

[lillmoo]

i had problems breastfeeding too, and only managed six weeks, i feel like i've let ethan down twice and he's only four months old!

 

[disneyleanne]

Please don't feel like you have let your little boy down. You nurtured him inside you for nine months and you produced a wonderful, healthy little boy. You have achieved something fantastic and certainly not let anyone down.

 

[lillmoo]

Please don't feel like you have let your little boy down. You nurtured him inside you for nine months and you produced a wonderful, healthy little boy. You have achieved something fantastic and certainly not let anyone down.

thank you! i really really wish i could get it into my head, that what happened, happened for a reason! i guess you never know what could have happened if things happened differently!

 

[KateyCakes]

.

 

[susan36]

with my first c/s with my daughter was awful i was knocked out . everyone kept trying to tell me i had a girl . i didnt believe them , my sister kept bringing her over to show me and i kept saying shes not mine . now shes 17 and we have a great bond . but i miss those first hours i had with my first born. my 2nd c/s was totaly diffrent from first .

 

[lillmoo]

It really does help to know that these feelings are pretty much the norm

 

[BlaireUK]

I am so relieved it isn't just me that feels this way. I am absolutely devastated that I had to have an emergency c-section after I failed to progress. I was awake but I really feel like I missed out on the first precious moments and hours with my son. I was there and aware when he was born but I didn't get to hold or touch him. I was also so exhausted all I wanted to do was go to sleep, even after he was born. I feel so guilty about it & really wish I could just get over it because he's here and healthy so that's all that should matter??

I have an overwhelming feeling that my body failed me and my son when I needed it most. This feeling was emphasised when I also failed after only 15-days at breastfeeding. I've always been fit and healthy so I just don't understand why I couldn't give birth naturally or breastfeed my child.

I wish I could push my disappointment to the back of my mind but I can't. My midwife has suggested writing my birth experience down as I remember it and she'll sit down with me and go through it with my notes because she's convinced I think it's much worse than it actually was.

 

[lillmoo]

it seems that alot of the time, c sec's and breastfeeding problems go hand in hand

 

[Babytimeagain]

I know what you mean and even 6 months after my sons C-section I couldnt watch or talk about birth without ending up in floods for tears and to be honest Im not a 100% sure why or what was so upsetting to me as yes I had a healthy son. It was an emcs and I was asleep plus when I came round I had an asthma attack and was poorly for a while so when I first saw my son he had a nappy and babygro on and it was just so strange,,, I have been told I have to have a elective section this time around and Im already so worried about these feelings coming back yet hoping that the fact I'll be awake may help me bond quicker and feel less upset but I guess only time will tell x