Any one NOT allow their babies/children to sleep at father's?

[ellebelle]

I haven't allowed my ex to have our children overnight yet.
He has anger problems, is emotionally abusive and often calls me to help him during his visitation anyway... They're still waking lots through the night and I don't trust him to care for them properly and imagine he would leave them to CIO which is not my parenting philosophy and not how they are treated here with me or my family.

I know eventually I will need to allow overnights as he is the father and deserves time with his daughters... but at what point?

I want to be able to trust they are physically and emotionally safe with him.

This is more of a vent and I would love to hear what you all have to share.

 

[Dream.dream]

I don't he's never allowed unsupervised access. He was abusive has a temper and has minimal knowledge on how to care for him( he's four and he still forgets to make him lunch and take him to the bathroom)

I think if your letting him have time with them there not missing anything with not having overnights. They still know their dad and you know they are safe and cared for

 

[babycrazy1706]

my ex has not moved out yet but when he does i will only allow him to have our son overnight when i am satisfied his (new) home is clean, safe (baby proof) stair gates, plug socket covers, fire guards etc and only when he has provided a cot and bedding for LO. i will not allow him to just sleep in ex's bed like ex would expect him too. i he wants to do it he can do things properly. Xx

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

My ex doesn't have my younger daughter overnight, she isn't ready to be away from me, by a long way. I had some legal advice and was told that no court would force me to allow overnights if it wasn't in her best interests and even then not til she was 4+.

 

[babycrazy1706]

That's interesting. It makes sense. Xx

 

[ellebelle]

I know my girls aren't ready either. I want to know they are being cared for and nurtured to the level that I do at home and I don't trust their dad to do it.

We went through some legal process and overnights are not in our agreement, so unless he wants to take me back to court, it's my choice on when I allow it - I think I just feel bad for him that he's missing out? But he did this to himself.

 

[fairydust87]

I let FOB have LO once over night when he was around 9 months. FOB acted all cocky and ignored my calls/messages when he had him. It was like 'because I have him now I dont have to talk to you' attitude. He wont be having him overnight again for a looooooooong time

 

[babycrazy1706]

I let FOB have LO once over night when he was around 9 months. FOB acted all cocky and ignored my calls/messages when he had him. It was like 'because I have him now I dont have to talk to you' attitude. He wont be having him overnight again for a looooooooong time

this is the kind of behaviour i would expect from my ex too, then he'd say he didnt hear his phone.

 

[ellebelle]

I let FOB have LO once over night when he was around 9 months. FOB acted all cocky and ignored my calls/messages when he had him. It was like 'because I have him now I dont have to talk to you' attitude. He wont be having him overnight again for a looooooooong time

Wow, unacceptable! Men are such children, what a dumbass.