Afternoon ladies :wave:
I've been looking at the sea bands, I've always wondered if they work, I travel really badly too, so I probably should invest in some.
Teacup, caffine free coke has become my best friend- also doesn't taste to bad on the return either!!
Rant ahead, sorry
I have my scan tomorrow, literally I am pooping my pants, it's not until 12.45, so tomorrow morning is going to drag! It's so stupid, but I'm terrified of crying in front of the nurse, it stems from the ivf, it's such a hugely scientific procedure that even though the nurses & Drs are nice, it's still all very black and white, either you have embryos to transfer or you don't. And because of that I always feel that I can't show any sort of emotion, which in turn leads me to make myself more stressed. I keep imagining lying in the room, and them telling me there's no heartbeat and how I'll react, purely because I'm scared to cry, I mean who does this??
Everyone keeps telling me that I'll be fine, I've had no bleeding, and am having symptoms, but still I can't let myself believe it. Getting pg is so easy for so many people, and we've had such a bloody hard struggle to get here, so why all of a sudden should things get easy? That's not how things work for us. All we know is dissapointment & frustration. My family all know about the ivf and the pg, as unfortunately my cousin took his own life 6 weeks ago, he was only 26. They had to know why I couldn't help my aunt as much as i wanted to. But now they all believe this is the bright light we need. A reminder that no matter how bleak & dark times get, it always gets better. but what if this isnt the glimmer of hope they think it is, what if I give them only more bad news. Sorry for the rant girls, but I've had such a rubbish couple of months, and I'm so scared this is going to be the icing on the cake. I've tried to keep this in, as everyone has more than enough to worry about, without me adding to it.
Sorry again, I hate any sort of drama, and i hate being the one with the "drama" but I needed to get it out somehow. Sorry again.