Anyone else get negative comments about having a section?

[Louppey]

I'm so pissed off, my MIL has made many many comments about me having it easy by having a section etc and how she hopes I can just have another this section this time as I won't be able to hack giving birth properly

Last week though, I had the best comment of all from FIL! He's always stayed quiet on the subject, but he finally decided to give me his opinion. Apparently, if you've had a section you haven't HAD a child. You've GOT a child. Because you've only HAD a child if you push it our your hoo haa apparently. I mean WTF. Carrying them for 9 months counts for nothing if you don't push them out too? I was fuming, but kept quiet for DH as he'd hate me to get angry infront of them. Problem is, i'm a hormonal pregnant lady and I do not think I will be able to keep quiet to their stupid views for the next 6 months.

Has anyone else had this negativity? How do you deal with it?

 

[minnie83]

I know what you mean, I've had my FIL refer to it as 'a little op' and my SIL (who has pushed out 3 kids naturally) has had a few little digs about taking 'the easy option'. Problem is, I can't keep my mouth shut! I told SIL in no uncertain terms that it's not an easy option, and last time I had a natural birth I almost died, so pardon me for wanting to be around to see my kids grow up! Luckily DH agrees with me and he knows what I'm like for speaking my mind. Either ignore them, or tell them to shut up. Especially your FIL, he has no idea what he's on about!

 

[baileybubs]

Oh my word I cant believe there are people that would think this!! I just had a c section on Friday and I can say it was a horrendous experience and I dont feel it was any easier than a natural birth!!
If it was my in laws I wouldnt care if my df got angry for saying something, in fact I would be angry with him for not defending me.

Sorry that doesnt answer your question about receiving negative comments I just read this and thought it was awful that anyone would even think that let alone say it!!

 

[baileybubs]

And as minnie83 said, definatley tell FIL to shut up, what on earth does he know?

 

[Solstyce]

No one has ever said anything like that to me. I had 2 c-sections. What a stupid thing to say about not "having" a child! Who do they think carried the child for 9 months? Who nursed the child and raised it? What a bunch of stuff!

 

[Louppey]

I'm so p*ssed of with my IL's over it. When they say anything again i'm just going to say something, irregardless of DH's feelings.

 

[seoj]

No- not one negative comment (other than maybe a mention of how I was lucky to by-pass labor- usually from friends who were in labor before an emergency c-section as mine was planned due to placenta previa- but tbh, I don't take them as negative. That was their situation- this was mine and I couldn't help my placenta was blocking my cervix! lol), BUT- if someone came at me like that I'd simply say "hey, let's cut through your stomache and sew you up and see how YOU deal with the recovery?!"... and leave it at that. You DID have a child, no matter how your LO comes into this world. Period. Grrrrr... every experience is different and very personal for the woman involved. I know plenty of woman who had a worse time recovering from a vaginal birth than my c-section, BUT, I've also known many that had a much easier recovery than I did... we ALL gave birth though.

They are being SO ridiculous! As if your FIL has ANY room to talk! Geesh.

 

[Lil_Pixie]

No ones ever said that to me but for along time I felt that way.

I phoned my mum up a few weeks after Xander was born thinking he had a rash on the back of his neck - it couldn't possibly be a birth mark since he wasn't born. She quite rightly told me I was rediculous

I still didn't give birth though. He was born, yes. But I've never given birth.

^^ I don't feel that way about other people's sections at all though, it's just my own feelings of failure. If someone else said that to me I think I'd break down and cry.

 

[Louppey]

No ones ever said that to me but for along time I felt that way.

I phoned my mum up a few weeks after Xander was born thinking he had a rash on the back of his neck - it couldn't possibly be a birth mark since he wasn't born. She quite rightly told me I was rediculous

I still didn't give birth though. He was born, yes. But I've never given birth.

^^ I don't feel that way about other people's sections at all though, it's just my own feelings of failure. If someone else said that to me I think I'd break down and cry.

I had huge feelings of failure too it sucks.

 

[Maze]

I can't actually give birth naturally and survive, so it would seem. My first c-section was an emergency after almost two days of labour and it was very scary. My second was supposed to be planned but also turned into an emergency when I started labour early, was barely dilating despite that my contractions were peaking to the top of the monitor and were very close together with my blood pressure rising to dangerous levels.

So I know that if it weren't for c-sections I wouldn't have my babies and I certainly wouldn't have been around to enjoy my first child. C-sections are not fun and can be scary for a lot of people and most women who go into the delivery room have a huge fear of ending up with a c-section... so if it is the easy way out, why are so many women scared to have them, more so than pushing?

I haven't received any horrible comments though. I am so sorry you have to deal with that.

 

[Leikela]

I had a C-Section in October 2012 and noone has said anything negative to me about it. Then again I live in New Jersey, which has the highest number of C-Sections in all of the United States!

I tried a vaginal birth but my daughter wasn't coming out. I was in labor for over 12 hours. After her heart rate dropped for the 3rd time, they did an emergency C. She was actually facing the wrong way. She was head down but sunny side up so she had trouble passing through the birth canal.

I don't feel like a failure personally because I tried. If it wasn't for C sections, my baby probably would have suffered from oxygen deprivation and been brain damaged as a result. So I am thankful!

Also, the recovery from it was no joke!! People don't realize what a major surgery a C section is. I sure didn't until it happened to me. When it is time for a 2nd, I want to try vaginally again so my recovery is a lot easier!

And definitely don't be afraid to speak your mind! What your in-laws are saying to you are horrible!

 

[Jenny_J]

My life, I don't know how you kept quiet hun. Some people seriously have no idea. I wouldn't care if the queen had said that to me, id tell her she is stupid, and to not speak to me, unless the words coming from her mouth made sense, but im a bit of a bitch lol, that's probably why iv had no negative comments.

Id love to be able to give birth naturally, but it's just not on the cards for some of us. And it's no one elses buisness, cheeky gits!!

 

[Louppey]

Yeah tbh i'm still pretty upset about it. It keeps playing over in my head. I wish I said something

 

[momofone08]

That is absolutely ridiculous! I have been told that vag birth is worse. My first was breech and I was forced to have a csection. After the csection they discovered her cord was extremely short and had I had a vaginal birth things would have been bad. My second was an emcs after 14 hours of labor and her heart rate dropping. I was only at a one, and she hadn't dropped so emcs it was. If it wasn't for that I would be dead, or she would be. The surgery hurt and the after hurt. So a vaginal birth is worse? You can have one of those at home, and be up and moving in 6 hours. After a section you definitely can't. We ALL gave birth, whether through through our hoo hah or through our stomach. Sorry I am worked up, but I had AWFUL PPD after my first because I felt like a failure. The comments they make is exactly why my PPD was so bad because I knew people thought that. Do NOT listen to them, and please stand up for yourself. If my husband didn't support me with that he would never live it down.

 

[flowermum]

I havent really had anyone say anything to me, apart from MIL(explained below). even though I have C Section I still gave birth!!! I would have given my FIL what for!!!! lol

I HATE how people think having a Csection is the "easy" way out, OMG it is so not!!!! Its bloody painful afterwards, and you are sent home with a new baby(and other kids) to look after, after having major freakin abdominal surgery :/

I had an emergency C Section with my first after a 48 hour stressful labour, and I was so unwell afterwards, major bloody loss needing a transfusion, I got a partial paralysis(bowels stopped) and I was sore for 6 weeks due to me being unwell and not healing as fast. When I was pregnant with my second I told me MIL I was going to try natural again and she said "oh god have the elective, so much easier!" (from she who has never had a CSection!!!)

I ended up having the elective for personal feelings(mainly due to DS's birth) and my second daughter was an elective too as will this baby.

 

[Kaileymonster]

I got loads of... "Well you didn't even do labour" comments and ... "what could you not hack it?" I repeat this sentence and it shuts them all up..

8 days in slow labour, 37 hours in labour, 9 1/2cm dilated and pushing. EMERGENCY Section due to mine and my babies lives being at stake.

Urgh, C-Sec is THE WORST PAIN EVER! Certainly not the easy option! The pushing part was the easy bit, my DS was stuck and I almost got him out! We just happened to both be near death so I decided to take a little break and wimp out.... ya'know

Tell them straight that it's a serious operation and it's what's best for your family so they can swivel!!!

 

[Annie77]

I try to pre-empt negative comments by first stating I'm too posh to push. Then the person looks at me and says 'really?' When I hit them with 'of course not - why would I choose a section? I HAVE to have one'. Then they look like they have egg on their face.

One of my friends is of Indian parentage and when she told someone (who asked) she had to have a section the cheeky sod actually turned round and asked if it was due to genital mutilation - WTF!!!

 

[Kaileymonster]

One of my friends is of Indian parentage and when she told someone (who asked) she had to have a section the cheeky sod actually turned round and asked if it was due to genital mutilation - WTF!!!

THAT IS AWFUL!!!!! It doesn't matter why you have a section anyway but to remark on something so personal?! That's just plain rude!!

 

[Mrs Bee]

Oh my word I cant believe there are people that would think this!! I just had a c section on Friday and I can say it was a horrendous experience and I dont feel it was any easier than a natural birth!!
If it was my in laws I wouldnt care if my df got angry for saying something, in fact I would be angry with him for not defending me.

Sorry that doesnt answer your question about receiving negative comments I just read this and thought it was awful that anyone would even think that let alone say it!!

^^WSS mine was emergency c section and if anyone dare say anything mean to me go help them, I feel like I experienced more than my share of natural labour even without pushing, at the end of the day we just want our babies healthy!

Im only planning on 2 children, the next one hopefully in 5 yrs.... But I'll be having an elective c section for that, there is no way in hell I'd go through all that again to say yay I had a VBAC not to offend those who do try everything for a vbac but I just can't rationalise it for me

 

[melfy77]

I'm so pissed off, my MIL has made many many comments about me having it easy by having a section etc and how she hopes I can just have another this section this time as I won't be able to hack giving birth properly

Last week though, I had the best comment of all from FIL! He's always stayed quiet on the subject, but he finally decided to give me his opinion. Apparently, if you've had a section you haven't HAD a child. You've GOT a child. Because you've only HAD a child if you push it our your hoo haa apparently. I mean WTF. Carrying them for 9 months counts for nothing if you don't push them out too? I was fuming, but kept quiet for DH as he'd hate me to get angry infront of them. Problem is, i'm a hormonal pregnant lady and I do not think I will be able to keep quiet to their stupid views for the next 6 months.

Has anyone else had this negativity? How do you deal with it?

That's just wrong. I had a vaginal birth with a a very painful back labor, but I'd chose that over a c-section anytime!!! Some of my friends got c-sections (babies were breech) and their recovery time was quite longer than mine, like a few weeks vs a day (I was out walking for 45 minutes the day following DD's birth). Another one attempted vaginal birth, but she got stuck at 9.5cm for 12 hours with baby in distress, and ended up with an emergency c-section, and got a nasty infection afterwards. They both made it, but no, I don't think a C-section is just a minor operation

C-sections save lives!!! I think some people need to remember this!!